Christ, someone write this man a BBC newsreader fanfic already
Where's The Luggage when you need him?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:46, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

ssssh.
Don't say his name out loud. He might turn up.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:48, Reply)

He's not the Candyman
Now that I think about it, has anyone seen FreeFair since he was immortalised in type?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Like a sensible young man he chipped when the gay shit started.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:52, Reply)

And people call me thin-skinned
What happened to the brass neck you saw fit to praise him for?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:54, Reply)

more likely
his disappearance coincided with the start of school holidays
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:54, Reply)

It's not like he was using the work PC like the rest of us
I assumed he'd just done his GCSEs and was therefore on summer hols earlier than usual. I reckon he realised that this is a nasty place full of cunts who hate him.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:56, Reply)

he didn't hang around long enough to realise we all hate everyone

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:57, Reply)

He did get it in the neck particularly harshly
but to my mind he brought it on himself. I'd hardly be surprised if vividly depicted gay porn featuring himself was too much.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:01, Reply)

I missed the pederastic gay porn freefair fanfic.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:02, Reply)

The formula is as follows;
Monty + FreeFair * horribly vivid use of imagination = gay b3ta fanfic.

Now you can make your own.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:03, Reply)

linkage?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Piss. Off.
I have no desire to read that ever again. I'm sure it could be found via search - start with "I would like to see my dinner again"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:07, Reply)

I would rather read something posted by SpankyHanky

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:05, Reply)

EVERYONE

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:01, Reply)

also
as an actual bender, you should be used to the abuse
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Brilliant

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:57, Reply)

don't fucking encourage him please

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:50, Reply)

ohhhh
so very very much this.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:51, Reply)

I honestly don't think he'll do it again
He said himself that whilst once is amusing in a worrying way, twice is just odd
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Did he ever tell you about the time his story was on the popular page?
Great days...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:54, Reply)

I actually missed the whole thing, including any trumpet-blowing which presumably took place
I came back after a few days away from the board and found the popular page had become HORRIBLE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Oh man, it was hi - larious...
Y'see he wrote this story, right, and it like got on the, like, popular page and everything. It was really funny...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:00, Reply)

If I remember rightly it was on there several times
I would recommend everyone who clicked "I like this" have a word with themselves
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:02, Reply)

...and when they've done that, to let me know as I'd like one or two words with them myself.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:14, Reply)