I haven't conditioned my beard for a while
maybe it's due...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 9:52, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I'm quite jealous of men who can grow a proper beard.
It takes me two weeks to grow half an inch of stubble. Every so often I give it a go and it gets to that length and starts to make my face itch. I understand that the itchiness eventually passes, but at the speed at which my hair grows, that'll be days and days away.

Very jealous.

The irony is, of course, that I don't actually want a beard. I'm just curious about how I'd look with one and I'd like the option.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)

You'd look like a cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

I'm guessing, here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

So what you're saying is, I'd look no different?
What I really want is a 5 o'clock shadow and a blue face in the morning after shaving.

My slow beard growth is probably why people always think I'm so much younger than I am.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

the itching stops for a few days
then comes back worse, then goes away
then comes back even worse, then goes away and after that you are home free!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Half an inch is not stubble.
By my reckoning you must have to shave 2-3 times a day to avoid a beard, if it grows at that rate.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)

"It takes me two weeks to grow half an inch of stubble"

( Kroney, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

"Half an inch is not stubble"
Unless you meant "it only covers an area of half an inch", rather than "it is half an inch long"

*does quotation marks in the air*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:33, Reply)

So if it takes me two weeks to grow half an inch of hair,
I'm leaving the semantics out since you seem to be having trouble grasping this, would you mind clarifying how it can possibly be that I'd need to shave two or three times a day to avoid growing a beard?
( Kroney, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Bad maths? I dunno...
Ok, 2-3 times a day is wrong.
I guess my point is: how long does it have to be for you to consider it a beard?
I have a beard, but it is no more than a few millimetres long. If yours grows at a rate of 0.762mm/day then it would reach the length of mine in under a week.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:52, Reply)

that's not a beard

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)