None of the above
I'm buying my first ever brand new car this week. Woo, and indeed yay.

I'm taking out a staff loan to fund the purchase. So far so good, but everything else has been fucked up from that point forward.

I was in close contact with the department that deals with staff loans right from the moment I submitted my application. I emailed them to explain that I was looking for the funding to be in my bank account and cleared for 1st September. No problem they said.

However, the cheque arrived a day later than they said it would, so I didn't receive it till I got home from work on Thursday night. I deposited it into my bank first thing on Friday morning. The fuckwit teller then told me that the funds would be available this Friday because of the bank holiday - not Thursday when I actually fucking well need it. Now let's think about that for a moment. It's taking them a bastarding week to clear a cheque - a cheque from a major finance company, which is in fact part of the same group of companies that my bastarding bank belongs to. How fucked up is that? Useless shower of cunts.

So I've moved the handover date back to the Friday because the dealer needs the money before I get the keys - obviously - and I can't take a risk as I need to get my insurance policy amended to reflect the change of vehicle at the correct date and time.

I've now spoken to my insurers to swap my policy from my old to my new car and issue a certificate for the new car. The dealer needs this before I can pick it up. When I did a quote online with my current insurer I was quoted just over £20 per month for the new car. When I phoned up to do it (because you can't swap cars on a policy online) they're now quoting me £37 per month! They then said that although the documents will be sent out today they may take up to one week to reach the dealer! WTF? Do you use paraplegic penguins to deliver your mail or what?

Basically I had to accept the deal, as I'm rapidly running out of time and I need my insurance sorted ASAP - but I'm putting in a complaint about it today. I think they've fired me over the proverbial barrel, and have just unbuttoned their collective flies. I have no fucking idea whether the insurance docs will reach the dealer in time, and if it doesn't then I won't get my new car till next week, and I won't be able to drive my old car over the weekend as it will no longer be insured.

So, I'm not very fucking happy bunny. I'm buying my first ever new car and I'm thoroughly pissed off with the whole thing. I know this is all pathetic beakering, but it's doing my head right in.

I won't name my employers, but the bank is a bank - in Scotland - if you know what I mean - not the royal one. And the insurance company may be not as fucking direct as they would like to think they are.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:14, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My God that was dull, Rev.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Soz.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Would it not be easier to use a different insurer? Tell the new guys the cover needs to start on Friday
and tell your old ones to fuck off as they've made your life a total misery. I can recommend Sky Insurance as good brokers, they've always been able to get my insurance set up for the same day, if needed.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I'll bear that in mind
But I'll give them a chance to redeem themselves before I ditch them at the earliest opportunity.

Directline claimed that the difference in the online and phone quote was because I must have said that my partner (my other named driver) lives with me. But I didn't. This will form the basis of my complaint. They are chancing, robbing cunts.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Ditch them
use an insurance broker, they are much easier to deal with.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

any insurer I've dealt with has been able to do that
I'm using one called Adrian Flux for my van, they email you the documents immediately and only send paper ones if you ask for them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Yeah, Flux are a similar kind of broker.
There's absolutely no reason why the bigger insurers can't do this. They just don't.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

If you are changing cover
the old company will demand that you pay some extra-ordinary cancellation charge for stopping a policy mid-term. Because they are all, every single man jack of them, absolute cunts.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

That's usually 25% of the year
which, when I've changed policies in the past, I didn't get charged because I was over halfway through the term, or something.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I fucking always do
perhaps they hate me?

The one that's been doing my head in over the last few years - I've worked my way through a few cars and I always have an overlap - buy the new one before selling the old - and I always used to be able to get insurers to have a couple of weeks of "overlap" where both cars were covered on the same policy, save starting a new one for the transfer. No-one seems prepared to do that now, which of course is stupid for them, because I'll automatically move to a new company every time as there is simply no incentive to stay.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Indeed
I love brokers. They bend over backwards to sort these things out for you because they're usually pretty small companies. A leviathan like Direct Line doesn't give a shit as they're well aware that most people will take the line of least resistance and just stay with them.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)

In their defence, when I had a claim with them a few years back they were very good.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I used to use brokers
because I was always insuring stuff that was odd (ie classic) or such a stupidly high group that mainstream companies wanted 5 figure premiums. I don't know why I stopped, really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)

They should be able to send a cover note the same day by fax or e-mail
It shouldn't take a week.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

They said that they can't fax or email the docs because that is 'unsecure'
If you checked out the nick of my postie I think you'd probably agree that sending via email may be a safer option.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

They are wrong
When I bought my first car they faxed a cover note straight to the dealer.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

They are also cunts
I may have mentioned this.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I have sympapthy
Insurers have all become massively difficult cunts over the last few years. I've just spent the last 4 months insuring two cars - one of which I had in fact sold - because despite every sound piece of evidence to the fucking contrary, that was the cheapest option.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Isn't there a problem with insuring the same car twice?
I thought it could invalidate both policies?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

almost certainly, but that's only a problem for the new owner.
It was because they wanted 25% of the cost of the year to cancel the policy. Consequently, it wasn't worth my fucking time to call them up again when I sold the car, so I didn't.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

they once forced a client of mine to fit a £2,000,000 sprinkler system
the first thing they did when they came to re-assess the building a month later?

the building is empty. that sprinkler system is a flood risk. drain it down.

ffs!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)