Alright?
I have a switch sitting in my car because I'm going to start looking into doing a CCNA due to desktop support giving me an ulcer.

What do you turds have and what is your reasoning for the having of it?
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:36, 225 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have a headache, and my body is just sore in general
I think this is due to the quite large amount of alcohol I have imbibed over this past weekend.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I have a roll up in my hands
And George Benson's The World is a Ghetto playing in my ears. Beautiful song.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I have a flapjack
because I am a lolfatty. Too much play and no exercise make berk a girthsome internet shut-in.
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I have put on 4kgs out of nowhere.
I have a pudge on my stomach now. I kind of like it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Yes, but the difference being
that you are not fat, have never been fat and have no fear of getting fat. I tick all of the above and I'm not fucking having it; I need to start going running again but I just haven't had the time.
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

yeah but I'd like to know how I can go from struggling to put on weight,
to putting on 4 kgs in about a month. Actually, I know what it is. Never mind.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Try going on the pill
It causes weightgain in the majority of women. Struggling to put ON weight has never been something I've suffered with...
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Been on the pill four years, never put on a single bit of weight.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Then you're very lucky
and the only woman I know who hasn't. Or perhaps you're just not a comfort eating bloater like me and most of my friends...
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Oh no, believe me, I comfort eat.
its just luck. Plus I tend to eat really really fucking healthily.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)

food?
If it makes you feel better berk I'm off to the doctor to get frowned at and weighed in a manner that will inevitably be depressing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:49, Reply)

It doesn't, really
but thanks. I'm sure your diet is going better than you think it is.
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Afraid not
I have gained 3kgs
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:18, Reply)

That's the better part of half a stone
I find that very, very hard to believe!
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I have a tan
due to spending two weeks sitting on beaches, drinking beer.
( wanderlust, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

What part of Canada were you in?

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

British Columbia.
A week and a bit in Vancouver and 4 days on the Island, watching whales in Tofino visiting a friend working as a kayak guide in Strathcona Park.
( wanderlust, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

lucky girl, 'tis grand though, one of the best places I've been.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Why are you posting in the style of an Oirish dimwit?
Are you one?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

He thinks he is because one of his Grandparents
visited Dublin once, or something.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I am Irish you oik.
do you want a slap?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I genuinely read that as 'beyatches'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

It would appear Monsieur Boyce,
that you are not the only one 'knee deep in fanny'.
( wanderlust, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Must be TGB's fanny.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Quite so madame.
It's clearly catching.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I have a three-day comedown
I earned it and I'm going to enjoy it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Who was your hight point*?


*so I can mock you
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:43, Reply)

VNV Nation, without a shadow of a doubt
The bands weren't quite as good as last year generally, save them. And I met them after the gig, which was absolutely fantastic, I met one of my favourite bands and they were bloody lovely guys.

No amount of mockery will detract from the pleasure I will derive from this memory, although I've no doubt that won't stop you trying.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Show us on the doll where VNV Nation touched you

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:52, Reply)

'VNV Nation' sounds like a ticket agency.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)

You should hear some of their contemporaries' names
V2A were my favourite in that respect, but only because a few of us spent half an hour speculating on what it stood for. Vag 2 Arse won obviously.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

My worst ever come down was after I necked a box of Pro Plus to stay awake during a killer shift once.
I was up for four or five days, considering there's no high it wasn't the nicest experience. Horrific.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

God that sounds horrible
I feel like hell right now but it was totally worth it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
I remember just sitting in the conservatory with the doors open at about four in the morning just staring into the garden for what seemed like days.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I have enough staff for the first time in nine weeks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Care homes have been hit hard by the recession

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Did you finally get somebody apply for your free job
who was capable of spelling their own name correctly on at least 2 out of 3 occasions?
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Yes, and she's fucking superb.
Waaaaay to good for this dump - she'll be gone within a few months for that reason, but for now it's fantastic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I don't understand your post
i have a nappy bin, because baby poo smells
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

That is because it's written in English
a language with which you have a well-publicised difficulty.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

true, but I also don'tt speak nerd
so I had no idea what you meant by a CCNA
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Oh right.
IT qualification based on Cisco networking equipment.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Oh that sort of switch
I thought you meant a hooker who does both dom and sub.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

That would have been a much more interesting answer.
Let's go with that, instead.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)

So which did you want?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I have just created an wonderful new disease
"Hepatits" by not checking my spelling correctly. This is currently in something that will be shown to the Scottish Government's Scientific advisory committee next week. How much is it worth for me to leave it spelt like that? I like the idea of some kind of seven-titted hydra.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I really, really like this

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

would

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I imagine that to be a form of allergy-free mammary.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Or tits made from liver. Hmmmm. Livertits.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Like most Scottish Government documentation, no fucker will read it, so just leave it as it is
QED
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)

They'll be standing in front of me so they will fucking read it.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

What?
So you're going to be sitting there, perhaps supping on a nice Cappucino and smoking a fag whilst His Holiness Sir Alex of Salmond will stand in front of you, reading your document - aloud?

POIDH.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Alex Salmond is fuck all use to anyone in this area.
It'll be Ann Glover and Nicola Sturgeon I expect.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)

in this area

to save you the trouble.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Would you like a secretary to stop you making mistakes?
I'll do your typing and take your kilts to the cleaners and that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Can you be paid in wine and lasagne?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Too right!
If you do hear of any terribly easy and not badly-paid jobs in Edinburgh, please let me know.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)

i have a shitload of work
to do in only 3 days because i am off friday and all next week.

so why oh why am i NOT DOING IT?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Is it because you're a bell-end?

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)

I'm just putting this out there:
it's because you are a lazy bitch
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:58, Reply)

You've been busting chops today, Vipros

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I've been alone almost all the time for 8 days
and am suffering from a severe lack of sleep.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)

You appear to have bullied Al off the board.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

that seems unlikely

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Well, he seems to have gone off in a huff, anyway.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

he's probably just busy
but he has been acting a dick recently. A boring, unfunny one, which makes it worse.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I'm sorry.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

you can carry on if you want
I was just wondering why
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

fucking hell vipros
you made him say the S word!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)

...and AIDS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)

that too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I'll tell you what I have
A fucking glowing resentment for a number of large organisations in this country.

In summary, they are all a shower of useless fuckwits, with no idea of customer service whatsofucking ever.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Talk talk, NPower, British Gas?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:57, Reply)

If BT's not a primary reason for the rage
I think I'll die of shock.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Compared with TalkTalk, BT are superb.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

TalkTalk have to log their line faults with BT
so they're probably desperate to avoid admitting that might be the necessary step.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

BT are cunts of the first water
I will have nothing to do with them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

At home I use Virgin as they're superior in every respect.
Unfortunately I'll be moving this year and I doubt I'll have access to cable, which means I'll have to go through the phone lines again.

Sad times.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)

that is a shame
I'd be sad to lose virgin cable and internet and stuff
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Virgin aren't available in my area.
That's the area immediately adjacent to the CITY OF FUCKING LONDON.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Do you want me to explain why?
I can, if you're interested.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Can it include the number of pixels that Virgin have?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I expect the reason you can't tell the difference
is because you're trying to watch it on a 1998 Sony Trinitron.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Seriously
Please tell me why Virgin haven't tried to extend their cable network within the most densely populated bit of London.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I have no idea, really.
But Virgin use NTL's old network. I don't know how much more cable they've laid down since taking them over but it's got to be fucking expensive to rip up London's streets.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I'm pretty sure they haven't laid any.
But if you're going to lay it anywhere, surely London would be the place to do it since you're more likely to get a return on your investment.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)

You'd imagine so
I'm just wondering whether there's just not been a big enough incentive for them to do so. You'd want to be certain of a large customer base if you're going to apply to multiple councils to let you dig their roads up and take on the no doubt exorbitant installation costs .
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Actually, looking at their coverage map
Virgin really don't cover that many areas at all.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I would like to know too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

that'll slow your sexlife right down

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)

They were going to cut my mum off when she was dying, even when we paid the bill and explained matters.
Fucking charmers.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

TalkTalk cut off my television and could/would not reinstate it.
After about £30-40 on the phone to Bangalore and no TV for over a month, it became apparent that if I ever wanted to see television in my house again I would HAVE to use BT, from whom I've had no bother - yet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Wow, I take it back then. That's a special kind of failure, right there.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Santander.
Please let one be Santander.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)

None of the above
I'm buying my first ever brand new car this week. Woo, and indeed yay.

I'm taking out a staff loan to fund the purchase. So far so good, but everything else has been fucked up from that point forward.

I was in close contact with the department that deals with staff loans right from the moment I submitted my application. I emailed them to explain that I was looking for the funding to be in my bank account and cleared for 1st September. No problem they said.

However, the cheque arrived a day later than they said it would, so I didn't receive it till I got home from work on Thursday night. I deposited it into my bank first thing on Friday morning. The fuckwit teller then told me that the funds would be available this Friday because of the bank holiday - not Thursday when I actually fucking well need it. Now let's think about that for a moment. It's taking them a bastarding week to clear a cheque - a cheque from a major finance company, which is in fact part of the same group of companies that my bastarding bank belongs to. How fucked up is that? Useless shower of cunts.

So I've moved the handover date back to the Friday because the dealer needs the money before I get the keys - obviously - and I can't take a risk as I need to get my insurance policy amended to reflect the change of vehicle at the correct date and time.

I've now spoken to my insurers to swap my policy from my old to my new car and issue a certificate for the new car. The dealer needs this before I can pick it up. When I did a quote online with my current insurer I was quoted just over £20 per month for the new car. When I phoned up to do it (because you can't swap cars on a policy online) they're now quoting me £37 per month! They then said that although the documents will be sent out today they may take up to one week to reach the dealer! WTF? Do you use paraplegic penguins to deliver your mail or what?

Basically I had to accept the deal, as I'm rapidly running out of time and I need my insurance sorted ASAP - but I'm putting in a complaint about it today. I think they've fired me over the proverbial barrel, and have just unbuttoned their collective flies. I have no fucking idea whether the insurance docs will reach the dealer in time, and if it doesn't then I won't get my new car till next week, and I won't be able to drive my old car over the weekend as it will no longer be insured.

So, I'm not very fucking happy bunny. I'm buying my first ever new car and I'm thoroughly pissed off with the whole thing. I know this is all pathetic beakering, but it's doing my head right in.

I won't name my employers, but the bank is a bank - in Scotland - if you know what I mean - not the royal one. And the insurance company may be not as fucking direct as they would like to think they are.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

My God that was dull, Rev.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Soz.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Would it not be easier to use a different insurer? Tell the new guys the cover needs to start on Friday
and tell your old ones to fuck off as they've made your life a total misery. I can recommend Sky Insurance as good brokers, they've always been able to get my insurance set up for the same day, if needed.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I'll bear that in mind
But I'll give them a chance to redeem themselves before I ditch them at the earliest opportunity.

Directline claimed that the difference in the online and phone quote was because I must have said that my partner (my other named driver) lives with me. But I didn't. This will form the basis of my complaint. They are chancing, robbing cunts.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Ditch them
use an insurance broker, they are much easier to deal with.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

any insurer I've dealt with has been able to do that
I'm using one called Adrian Flux for my van, they email you the documents immediately and only send paper ones if you ask for them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Yeah, Flux are a similar kind of broker.
There's absolutely no reason why the bigger insurers can't do this. They just don't.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

If you are changing cover
the old company will demand that you pay some extra-ordinary cancellation charge for stopping a policy mid-term. Because they are all, every single man jack of them, absolute cunts.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

That's usually 25% of the year
which, when I've changed policies in the past, I didn't get charged because I was over halfway through the term, or something.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I fucking always do
perhaps they hate me?

The one that's been doing my head in over the last few years - I've worked my way through a few cars and I always have an overlap - buy the new one before selling the old - and I always used to be able to get insurers to have a couple of weeks of "overlap" where both cars were covered on the same policy, save starting a new one for the transfer. No-one seems prepared to do that now, which of course is stupid for them, because I'll automatically move to a new company every time as there is simply no incentive to stay.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Indeed
I love brokers. They bend over backwards to sort these things out for you because they're usually pretty small companies. A leviathan like Direct Line doesn't give a shit as they're well aware that most people will take the line of least resistance and just stay with them.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)

In their defence, when I had a claim with them a few years back they were very good.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I used to use brokers
because I was always insuring stuff that was odd (ie classic) or such a stupidly high group that mainstream companies wanted 5 figure premiums. I don't know why I stopped, really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)

They should be able to send a cover note the same day by fax or e-mail
It shouldn't take a week.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

They said that they can't fax or email the docs because that is 'unsecure'
If you checked out the nick of my postie I think you'd probably agree that sending via email may be a safer option.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

They are wrong
When I bought my first car they faxed a cover note straight to the dealer.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

They are also cunts
I may have mentioned this.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I have sympapthy
Insurers have all become massively difficult cunts over the last few years. I've just spent the last 4 months insuring two cars - one of which I had in fact sold - because despite every sound piece of evidence to the fucking contrary, that was the cheapest option.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Isn't there a problem with insuring the same car twice?
I thought it could invalidate both policies?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

almost certainly, but that's only a problem for the new owner.
It was because they wanted 25% of the cost of the year to cancel the policy. Consequently, it wasn't worth my fucking time to call them up again when I sold the car, so I didn't.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

they once forced a client of mine to fit a £2,000,000 sprinkler system
the first thing they did when they came to re-assess the building a month later?

the building is empty. that sprinkler system is a flood risk. drain it down.

ffs!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Game of Thrones, Deus ex and a big bag of green

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Is Deus Ex any good?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Yeah, hard though, stealth play is hard

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

The first boss fight I did last night,
it took me at a guess 25-30 goes and I nearly cried when I finally downed him.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I remember having similar problems with the third prince of persia game.
I never actually finished it as the final boss was too hard.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

I found the same
that fucker. Shame because the rest of the game was so good.

I never managed to beat the Empress on the second one either. Only completed that by going the route where you fight the big monster that blares Godsmack at you.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I couldn't beat the big time twisting monster either.
I completed Sands of Time, but the others I just had to leave on the last boss.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

it took me a long time to kill that bastard
I had to study a strategy guide video to do it, and then get lucky as well.

The one on the third game was just too fucking hard though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Mouse Trap used to well tricky and all

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Sorry Rory, but "Mouse Trap used to well tricky and all" doesn't make any sense

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)

BE
I HOPE YOUR HAPPY
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)

of course he isn't
he got beaten by the electronic monster, see above.

CAN'T YOU READ, YOU INSENSITIVE RORY, YOU?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)

I don't know anything about computer games, apart from them leaving kids as boogle eyed wheezing fat cunts unable to relate to the real world
ELEVENTY ELEVENTY !!111!I SO PWNNED U LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)

What a waste of your life that was.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

not in the case of vipros (well, mostly)
but actually, it is good that a lot of people who play shit like that DO have that shit to play in their parents' basements. what else would they be doing?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Painting Warhammer figures and wanking over the lingerie section of Kays catalogue,
or feverishly awaiting the release of the new Iron Maiden LP or Pratchett novel.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)

so actually
it's much better for society that these shut-ins remain shut-in. surely?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I'm sure you make excellent use of all your time

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Oh God yes.
Without doubt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Those massive debts won't accrue themselves, you know.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:41, Reply)

PRECISELY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I always told myself 'I'll never grow out of playing video games'.
I sold my PS3 so I could afford to go to Milan last March, then I bought another Playstation about six months ago. I don't know why, I bought Assassin's Creed 3 and played it for about an hour. It's been sitting unused since.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I dont' think I'll miss my PS3, either.
It's become redundant after I rearranged everything. It was initially used to stream films from the PC upstairs. Now the PC's downstairs, I just don't use it.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Thing is I don't not like playing on it.
It's just I get bored so quickly I turn it off after about twenty minutes. So long games are pointless for me, whereas I like dipping into Fifa every now and again. Since I got a new laptop with an HDMI port to watch films on my tele I hardly touch the Playstation.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Yes, I fahking love it.
I have next week off, the fact it'll be in my flat means I won't do anything useful.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Superb, I'm considering buying it
So far, I've heard nothing but positive reviews.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I have broken wrists due to playing Fallout solidly over the weekend
They ache really rather badly.

I moved my PC downstairs to the TV kit. Turns out using a mouse on a book, on the sofa, isn't terribly good for your carpal tunnels.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Was that Fallout 3 or New Vegas

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)

New Vegas.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Great Game
I can't wait for Skyrim to come out.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I never really got along with Morrowind and Oblivion
so I'm rather ambivalent over Skyrim.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

The graphics look incredible
I hope my current computer can cope with them.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)

if it's anything like the other games
computers won't be able to cope until a year or so after it comes out
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I've had my computer for 4 years now,
though I upgraded the graphics card about 2 years ago, and it coped with Fallout 3 and New Vegas without any problems.

For some reason it really struggled with Civilisation 4. Which is why I ended up with the new graphics card.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:21, Reply)

The Civ games are the only reason I upgrade at all, now.
They seem to be less well optimised than other games.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I have a blocked nose, for no discernable reason.
and a shitload of body issues, which have suddenly decided to jump up and down all over my head today.
I will not be leaving the house today without an inch of makeup and a big cardigan.

Anyway, enough of my beakering. Have we all had a lovely bank holiday weekend?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I thought I was sick once.
Turns out I wasn't.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I don't think I'm sick. It may just be a touch of hayfever or something.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Mine was fantastic, thank you.
How was yours?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Not bad, as it goes. Got quite a bit done yesterday, which was nice.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Always good!
I did very little, aside from meeting Darth, all I did was laze around and drink.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)

How's your ring piece?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Still fine, he didn't even attempt to go near it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

That must have been exciting.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:20, Reply)

It wasn't
But it was the weekend I needed after last week, absolute hell.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I have a general disinclination to getting anything done today
And a sinking feeling that tomorrow, despite having recently trained as the electrical safety tester for the entire company I shall need to sit through several hours of "and this is what you shouldn't stick a screwdriver in an electrical socket" level 'electrical safety training'.

I mean, I've been sticking screwdrivers in sockets on a more or less daily basis for years and it's not killed me yet.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

You'd have to stick two in at once, wouldn't you?

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

I stick one (or a plastic fork) into the earth pin so that continental 2 pin plugs can be used in a UK socket
it's safe enough but a little naughty.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:15, Reply)

What, without a step-down?

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:18, Reply)

it's the same voltage
you're thinking of US stuff
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Oh yeah, you're right.
I'd forgotten those Europeans use two pins, too.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:23, Reply)

The clue is in the phrase "continental 2 pin plugs "
Also, I'm pretty sure the pin spacing on US plugs is wrong for UK sockets, where as euro plugs will go with a little force.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Oh i don't know what I was thinking

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

wrong is what you were thinking my boyo.
My vast experience of sticking things where they do not belong tells me this.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I used to do that when I was a teenager. It failed to kill me.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:20, Reply)

or so you say

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I don't think it did.
I could be wrong, though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:32, Reply)

you could be Bruce Willis.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Yep,
One in the pink and one in the stink
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:16, Reply)

This thread is appalling.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Your face is appalling.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:20, Reply)

No, my face is appealing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:21, Reply)

As appealling as my thread.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Much, much more so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:24, Reply)

No, you see, what you did there was say "more" when you meant "less"

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:25, Reply)

I wish your carpal tunnel issues were preventing you from posting altogether.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I wish your poverty had got your hands cut off.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:29, Reply)

How would that affect my posting from work, you fucking dunce?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:31, Reply)

What?

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:32, Reply)

I see homosexuality is no hindrance to EDITING LIKE A MASSIVE CUNT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:33, Reply)

You know what would be?
TRYING TO TYPE WITH THE STUMPS OF WHERE YOUR HANDS USED TO BE
( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Will they repossess his hands?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Oh no!
Are you going to set your 'end of level boss' on me?

Or send 'Thr'ingorr, mighty wizard of Wankdoria' round to beat me up?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

God, you're a bender.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:39, Reply)

start a new one then.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:23, Reply)

I've written and deleted three.
All were extremely rude about 'gamers' and I don't want to start an argument with a gaggle of nerds.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

An argument is just what this fine day needs
clear out some of the rage
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:28, Reply)

www.guardian.co.uk/education/2011/aug/29/emails-hidden-costs-free-schools

Michael Gove is a cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Chompy?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:31, Reply)

No he isn't
I don't actually see anything wrong with what he did. The government has offered little proper support for Gove, obviously he's going to forge his own way. And Building Schools for the Future was a fucking shambles.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Oh well if you say it was a fucking shambles then I must stand corrected.
He's still a chinless cunt without any idea of what he's doing, driving his policies forward based on ideology rather than any sort of evidence or consultation.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:42, Reply)

It poured money into replacing buildings
that didn't need to be replaced, with badly designed hideously expensive schools, when that money could've gone to better places, or to renovating schools instead.

Why do you say that? Because it's an ideology you don't agree with, so 'obviously' it must be without plan, or consultation?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:47, Reply)

No, because he did it without any planning or consultation.
But yes, it is an ideology I don't agree with*. The free schools and the academies program are just long winded routes to privatising education.

* Much the same as the Alternative vote was an idea you didn't agree with on ideological grounds because it would have effected your preferred party.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:54, Reply)

He did plan and consult
but fundamentally yes policies are driven by ideology or we wouldn't have different parties and ministers at all. I think the free schools should be given a fair crack of the whip before we judge.

Fundamentally I don't really care, but I like Michael Gove and I'm pissed off at the moment.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:56, Reply)

No he didn't
he gave a government grant to a charity who then undertook work, rather than actually going through a tender process. So now who is squandering money?

The free schools may well end up producing good students, but at what cost to other schools who's funding will have to fall to make up for the taxpayers money being pumped into private companies?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 13:00, Reply)

No it isn't.
You giant gimmer.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Don't you call Amberl a gimmer!
You smelly arsefardle!
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:31, Reply)

bumface!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Radish lover!

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

*pops in to look around*
*sees everyone is being thouroughly childish*

*pops back out again*
( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

We're bored Beej, bored.
Don't judge us too harshly.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:38, Reply)

*judges harshly*

( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Help me, Biggers.
It's turned into a nerd-off in here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I'm sorry but I can't help someone who calls me Biggers when I have MAJOR ISSUES with my size.

( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Oh soz and double-soz.
I suggest you amend your username to prevent further mishap.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Big-Girl's-MooMoo

( Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Come up with something interesting to talk about Monty.
Please!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:43, Reply)

All I can think of to say are rude things about adults playing computer games.
I think you should help everyone out here, Al.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Yeah, cos Al never says anything mean...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Got any plans for christmas?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:47, Reply)

I saw Statto on Sunday, he's got a bald patch too

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I don't know who that is Rory
but I'm glad he's doing okay.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:50, Reply)

He's certainly keeping his chins up, first bankrupt and now bald
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Loughran
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Do it.
My sports bashing thread went well.

I mean, not in terms of sports bashing, but once everyone got done shouting at me they involved in conversations.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Talk about the sexeh.
That always gets everyone going.
( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:50, Reply)

When I so this people(chompy) call me creepy.
*sadface*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 13:00, Reply)

So Monty, what were you saying about crystal meth and weightloss?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 12:50, Reply)