I can draw a house with a cross in the middle in one line without going back over the line
I can affect the performances of 'hot favourite to win' football teams by the simple process of placing an accumulator on Saturday mornings.

Not entirely useless, but I can put spaghetti into the pan and make it splay out evenly in all directions. You wouldn't believe how many people this impresses*

*my children

Alt: A 1/4 cheeseburger with kebab meat and lots of chilli sauce with some spicy fries on the side. And a can of rubicon.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:59, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Twist it don't you.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Get a bigger pan

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

*chubby checkers*
Aye, it's a bit simple
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

If indeed it is simple

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:03, Reply)

it's they're
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:03, Reply)

You're not wrong there
Two of them even support Liverpool
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I have no answer to this.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Only 1/4 pounder?
Pfft, you pansy.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

A can of rubicon (which sounds like a drink for Transformers) must be £10

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I distrust Rubicon
it comes in weird flavours like Guava and Papaya and Mango and it all sounds like witchcraft.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:04, Reply)

The mango one is fecking delicous
But there simply isn't enough of it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:07, Reply)

witchcraft foreign muck
( girlinthehole, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:09, Reply)