Dartford
There's a crackin' Personality Glue factory there
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:16, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Here's our Graham with a reminder.
Don't pick this one. He's horrid.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I am. I really am.
I take it back. Do you like owls? I know a brilliant owl sanctuary.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Because, like an owl, you are active at night (as in you'd do a sex on me in a bed)?
I mean, if you aren't going to do the laboured suggestive remarks, there's just no point playing.
Sod it. I'm off to eat some pies and sweat brine.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:20, Reply)

You know what, you're absolutely right.
*clears throat*

Well, Personality Horse, I live in Norwich. So in the interests of romance, I'd take you to see O Brother, Where Art Thou? at the local arthouse cinema, before a meal at Brothers restuarant, and then back to mine to get retro with some Brother Beyond cassettes. Because only once I'm convinced we're related can I brutally sodomise you five ways from Tuesday.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:26, Reply)

One dinner and straight in with brutal sodomy?
You slag!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Dinner AND a movie
That's the Norfolk equivalent of a three-year vow of chastity during courtship
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Oh, come on
he went for the cinema too. That's practically two dates. Two and a half if you count the "listening to music and small talk"

If she's not up for her back doors being booted in by then, you're on a hiding to nothing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I think the beautiful way I described the date is worth a quick fumble at least

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:31, Reply)

It was definitely worth a couple of digits.
Not fist knuckle, just mid-finger knuckle.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:38, Reply)

fingers and tops, I'd say.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I reckon I could be balls deep by "Be My Twin"

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I reckon you could be tractor deep, if you treat her like a princess.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:43, Reply)

*excited oo-ing from the audience*
*old ladies aqua-plane off their seats*
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:28, Reply)

What a magnificent mental image
Someone should revive Blind Date, with Frankie Boyle as host and Bruno Tonioli after a gallon of Relentless on voiceover duties. And the audience should inadvertantly decide who gets the date, with whichever response causes the furthest foof-slide winning.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 11:34, Reply)