Or, in reality, I'm sat at work bored out of my skull already.
At the weekend I will queue for several hours to see some wanker dressed as Santa who will probably just make my kids cry in the end anyway.
I do like breasts.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:30, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What happedned to you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:32, Reply)

You're going to have to be more specific.
Unless you want my entire life story.
Which I'm not sure I am prepared to share for free, anyway.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:35, Reply)

You seem lucid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Dunno. Mood swings I suppose.
I felt like actually having a conversation to pass the day, so I came over here.
/talk is fine if all you want to do is bark swears and accuse each other of flouncing all day, but not much else anymore.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:38, Reply)

And don't get me wrong.
That is all I want to do most of the time.
Just not today.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I quite like conversational balders.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:52, Reply)

It's quite a lot like olden days /talk over here, isn't it?
I like it.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:57, Reply)

You mean the logical evolution of /OffTopic is endless swearing, flouncing and Mortal Wombat?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:59, Reply)

I guarantee it.
Soz.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Does that mean FrisbeeAdam will come back too?
Because that would be horrid
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:06, Reply)

He's already back, he popped over here yesterday I think trying to pwn someone.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Oh fuck
Between him and Quentin this place is one beakering fuckwit away from being sealed off and nuked back to the stone age by the government under the Hammerfall Protocol.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:15, Reply)

*puts £2 on the table*
Start talking, bitch
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:36, Reply)

£2 gets you a link to a self-published book of poetry which is free to download:
www.lulu.com/product/ebook/the-poetry-of-baldmonkey/17412298?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/1
It's been described as "crap" by Carlton Mellick III. Which, frankly, is generous.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Alright, now I'm really confused
The linking to published work suggests you're actually apeloverage. The self-awareness and basic humility suggests you are not.

I might have to bring cricket into this.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:41, Reply)

I don't understand cricket.
Sorry.
Can we talk about rounders instead?

It's a shit book of poetry I self-published a few years back. I actually sold about thirty copies. Which made me about £15, I think.
It really is shit. I read it the other day. The only bit I like is the index.
But don't let me put you off downloading it.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Not understanding cricket = AUSTRALIAN
thereby lending weight to the apeloverage accusation.

Good on you for publishing, I'd never have the nerve
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:48, Reply)

A handful of people on /talk back then said they'd buy it if I made it. It was their idea, not mine.
So I spazzed back through all my posts, copy-pasting all the shitty poems I'd posted.
Then I published it.
Then they bought it.
It wasn't difficult.
I've sent proper books to proper publishers too. But they told me to fuck off on account of they were shit.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Money for nothing though innit
So congrats for that. I'll be brutally honest, I'm not a fan of poetry at the best of times.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:52, Reply)

That's what Carlton Mellick III said.
He liked the cover though.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:55, Reply)

Who is this bold-speaking fellow?
He sounds like Will Smith's mate off Fresh Prince
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Bizzaro Fiction author.
Stole my face.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:58, Reply)

What a bastard
Where does he live? I'll send the boys round.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:00, Reply)

No no no.
I quite like him.
I emailed him saying "you stole my face" and he bothered replying.
He's a nice chap. And I'm enjoying reading his books.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:02, Reply)

*calls off hit*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Here is him:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlton_Mellick_III

Here is me:
www.sites.google.com/site/personalityhorse/personality-horse-history/paul-thomas-miller
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Fucking hell
That's actually quite spooky. Thank god no-one on this website has a history of duplicating names or accounts.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Quite.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I'll miss baldmonkey
still he went out on a high
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:35, Reply)

with a dildo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Diddlio.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Where has he gone?

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Sorry, I meant; "Where have I gone?"

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:40, Reply)

He achieved the pinnacle of 100,000 talk posts, countless popular page entries, and found there was nothing left to do, no mountain to climb, no more bird to watch

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:49, Reply)

I sort of don't want to ruin that lovely round post count number.
Mind you, I cheated really. The last 500 or so posts were shit posted in an old off-screen thread.
Slow connection you see. I can click post this message and before it moves on, add a letter and do it again. Takes seconds to run up a hundred posts.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Like this... I'll do five quickly here

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:54, Reply)

1
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:54, Reply)

11
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:54, Reply)

111
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:54, Reply)

1111
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:54, Reply)

11111
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Exciting, isn't it.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:54, Reply)

You haven't been here much, this counts as subthread of the week

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:57, Reply)

I think I have worms.
I can feel something tickly up my bum hole.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Examine your next stool carefully for tell tale unusual flecks, you can also stare at the used toilet paper for wriggles if that makes you feel better

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Have a shite and cut it in half
If both halves move, you have worms
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:30, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1135300
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Amen.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:05, Reply)