Performed minor surgery on my mum's feet.
I am a family hero.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:14, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

fuck off Colclough!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

bah!
*shakes fist at Quentin*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

i dry humped sasha a thte xmas party
is that considered bad form?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)

As long as he enjoyed it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

apparently i disgust her

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Finger up the bum
She'd be frothing at the clopper faster than Monty after a stray £5
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:20, Reply)

but her bot is massive and i don't want to lose my hand
she sent me one of those female messages on facebook in the middle fo the night too, all cryptic and that no fucken clue what she was on about
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Organise a meeting with her
in the stationary cupboard
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:22, Reply)

As compared to the moving one?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Yeah, they are harder to meet in

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:25, Reply)

her bum wouldn't fit

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Well I'd got back from the North Pole earlier than expected
so I thought I'd help the old gal out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)

a family hero Craig Colclough
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Ha!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

What did you do?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Made her take painkillers and wine, sprayed Vick's Chloroseptic on her ingrown toenails
(after soaking them in Dettol water) and then used pressure, gouging, and some clipper instrument to sort out her ingrown big toenails.
Four separate spots had to be gouged. Minging and traumatic. She was biting a towel haha.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Ingrowing toenails fucking knack!
I remember coming in from a heavy night out and my toe basically burst. Way to sober up quickly! Toe spots
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:30, Reply)

She had a little cry. One piece was a like a frigging THORN right inside her toe.
Her GP's place is shit. The 'chiropodist' is a beauty therapist who can remove corns, basically,and she sent my mum packing a few months ago saying "What d'you want ME to do?"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Oof, they're rather painful, I had a recurring one for a few years, eventually they just removed the nail and nail bed

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:34, Reply)

I'm frogmarching her somewhere after Chrismas to arrange this

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Right now though, I am a god.
An hour afterwards she was singing Happy Feet and moving her toes about
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Haha, the relief after having them done is something rather impressive
When I had mine done for the final time, they gave me special shoes to keep my foot tipped back, reducing the bleeding.

I didn't realise that, thought they were only to avoid pain, took them off as soon as I got home, had to go back 4 hours later after I'd bled through the bandages, oops.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Woooooah there!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)