I'm in charge of my team today
So far this has consisted of excluding myself from the coffee-making rota and being told that our boss buys all the girls Malteaser Bunnies every Friday. Any management tips? So far I've rejected wearing a cape and swishing around the office like Darth Vader (insufficient physical presence to rule by terror) and barking like a dog at every third person to talk to me (crap at barking like a dog)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:49, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

One tip only
Don't be a cunt. Everyone will thank you for that and possibly do some work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Really make sure you micro manage every single part of everyone elses job.
You may think this is unnecessary and jsut getting in their way, but the truth is that every single one of your staff are lazy untrustworthy and above all, fucking stupid, so if you don't actually do everything yourself, it will end up being done wrong and having to be redone by you later.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Also, make all staff aware every 15 mins that YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW
This won't lead to them pissing in your brew or rimming the cup at all
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I'm only in the job today and Monday
That sounds like a lot of effort
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

'misunderstand' them and buy all the girls Rampant Rabbits then insist they 'try them out for the lads'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

I've already offered to show them my chocolate-covered treat
If indeed that is chocolate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

...or a treat

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)