Bad news for fatties
Boffins in the US reckon that there should be a sugar tax:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-16822533
What do you think? Can we finally rid the world of fat people taking up two seats on the bus? Would this merely be another way to raise revenue from poor people? What would you tax instead, to raise more revenue?

Alt: Remember when Quentin used to piss most people off? Now he seems to rule the popular page. How did that happen? Is his theory correct that people hate 'swipey more than him? Is it all just a big popularity contest? Who cares anyway?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:24, 97 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Cause you all LOVES Q, that's why.
You just tried to deny it before, like lovesick puppies.

Also, OOOWWWWWW I got hurty gums :'((((((
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:29, Reply)

It's too early to make a 'Scots have bad teeth' 'joke' plus I kind of am one,
but fuck it 'THAT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THE IRN BRU FIZZY SWEETS LOL'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:34, Reply)

bindun on /talk.
Not teeth, have hurty gums :'(((

I think it's infected. WITH AIDS!!!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:36, Reply)

There was a story recently about oral cancer being on the rise
Possibly due to increased popularity in oral sex.
Where have you been sticking your mouth?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:38, Reply)

as an international playboy and gigolo my discretion is guaranteed.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:42, Reply)

I had a nasy gum infection once.
I got put on really strong type of antibiotics which was also one of the two types that you aren't allowed to drink with. And I was in Sweden, on a holiday primarily intended to be one where we would drink a lot of schnapps. My wife was incredibly unsympathetic. Especially when I then contracted tonsilitis.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:43, Reply)

The bitch
First the loft ladder, now this.
I don't know why you stick with her, Al.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:44, Reply)

I sometimes wonder that too.
She did actually apologise when I ended up having nearly two weeks off work. She thought I was just putting it on for attention.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:47, Reply)

Fucking women, eh?
So, erm...what's it like?

Nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Well, I don't think you'll want to try it for a few more weeks until everything is properly healed.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:09, Reply)

This is very true

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:09, Reply)

Alt: I'm not keen on all this unpleasantness.
Quentin has upped his humour quotient whilst occasionally slipping back into bent tosser territory. Mockery done with wit and style I am all for, the 'fucken prick' stuff I find epically tedious.

^ reading this back it comes across like a school report:
'Joining the class as he did mid-term, Quentin initially found getting along with the other children a challenge, his over-compensating veering occasionally into showing off and/or bullying. Now he seems to have settled in better, although his personal hygiene still needs work.'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:32, Reply)

Haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:35, Reply)

debating has improved but grammar and spelling needs work.
possibly dyslexic, may need to see nurse.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:35, Reply)

I thought his position was one of "ironic dyslexia"?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:36, Reply)

He may be hiding the pain behind a curtain of lolz.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:37, Reply)

its tru
i've been trying so hard lately, going back and editing posts like 3 times at a time :(((
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:25, Reply)

You shouldn't hide this Q, there is no shame in being a dyslexic.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:26, Reply)

i don't think i am
i'm just a shit typist
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:30, Reply)

isn't that a type of mushroom?
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:35, Reply)

no its not

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:37, Reply)

:(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:38, Reply)

you were probably thinken of shittake
thats not even close
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:41, Reply)

I thought my LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
implied it was a lolarius attempt at humour rather than a serious comment.

I'll try harder next time mister, I promise!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:42, Reply)

oh right
that didn't work either, back to teh drawing board
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:43, Reply)

oh man, hurty mouth and now this.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Monty, please write reports for all of us.
No white knitighting though for the girls.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:38, Reply)

He can't help it.
He'll be all "Wanderlust has been extremely attentive and displayed some excellent understanding" and then "Superfly with a Badger gonna GIT your al Sucka!!!!! has consistantly blinded me with the light reflecting off the back of his head while he's been turned around talking at the back of the class".
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:45, Reply)

I just thought that smashing away at the key board writing vitriolic reports, would help lower his blood pressure, and help him relax.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:48, Reply)

'Al's determination to be less bent this year has paid dividends.
The other boys have, in turn, reduced their gaz-based baldy jokes considerably, although work is still needed on the 'wanting a go on his wife' ones.'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:49, Reply)

As illustrated quite nicely by your post down there!

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:52, Reply)

Quite.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:57, Reply)

Monty has worked hard in chemistry this year, taking particular interest in the production of certain substances.
He has also been keep to help out in community farming projects.
Needs to improve in his accountacy and finance courses and has been caught many times round the back of the bike sheds offering a variety of services for cash from the sixth form boys. This needs to stop.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:52, Reply)

Monty's strength in creative writing continues to shine.
Recently he constructed a superb story about the criminal underworld with a wonderfully grizzly ending. He does however need to work on making his work appear more believable.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:57, Reply)

Monty continues to make steady progress in music lessons.
his eclectic taste has at last expanded to allow that Mozart is not utter shit. We have high hopes that when we find which pawn shop he has left all of the instruments in, we can reform the school orchestra.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:05, Reply)

You know full well he wouldn't be able to resist adding the text "in my pants" to the end of the report for Lusty there

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:02, Reply)

'his personaly hygiene'?
SHAPOW Quinten wins again!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:14, Reply)

No idea what you're on about.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:29, Reply)

editing bastard
i'm leaving now forever
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Well, that's the creepiest thing I am likely to see all year:
www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2012/02/02/cartoon-themed-funeral-held-for-tragic-liver-transplant-baby-115875-23732851/

As for fat people, I don't think we need to tax sugar. I just have one simple rule that would satisfy me - all transport should be charged per kilo. The heavier you are, the more you pay. That way if you are twice the size of me, I won't resent you for taking up two seats with your massive fat going to die early arse.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:39, Reply)

Fucking hell
That is a combination of very sad, very weird and (as you say) creepy. Grief can do funny thing to people...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:42, Reply)

All transport?
Are you including buses and trains in that?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:42, Reply)

Yup, all paid for, shared transport.
Taxis can be exempt, because if you get in a taxi with a fat person, you only have yourself to blame.

This should also include any personal effects though, so that way, if you have a massive fuck off suitcase on a seat next to you, at least you've paid for it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:44, Reply)

Taxis make me angry.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:47, Reply)

You mum makes me angry.
That's why she walked into a door.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:47, Reply)

Bitch has gotta learn

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:50, Reply)

Me too, unless I am in them.
And even then if the driver insists on describing in detail the 1968 Ford Mustang v20 6.0 caliber nut tightener dickeheadmobile in powder blue with tinted windows and faux lether heated seats that he just bought to me at 6.30 on a Monday morning.

To give an example at random.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:48, Reply)

You must really hate Andy Kaufman

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:08, Reply)

I've had loads of friends in the past who always thing it's rediculous every time I get a taxi.
I can't work out why, I only ever get them if I'm in a serious hurry, and generally it's only a couple of quid more than a bus on the journeys I take
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:29, Reply)

That is truly creepy.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:43, Reply)

That is truly arousing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:44, Reply)

Did it make your wick hard, ben?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:45, Reply)

Imagine I am high-fiving you*.




*over Al's wife's back.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:50, Reply)

+ again

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:51, Reply)

She "Gave up" her job as a call centre handler.
Yeah right, she just found that benefits paid more didn't she.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:46, Reply)

I saw that yesterday
Whilst it's sad that a child is dead, the funeral itself is most LOL-worthy
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:02, Reply)

A good funeral should be full of laughter
But I'm not sure that applies to a child's funeral.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:04, Reply)

But children's funerals are the funniest of all funerals...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:06, Reply)

Funniest - and sexiest.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:09, Reply)

Course it does.
And wanking.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)

It's just the picture itself that I find creepy
not so much the sentiment behind it. Although I can't imagine I'd ever think it was a good idea.

The picture looks like something from Life On Mars though.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:05, Reply)

It's so utterly odd a sight that I couldn't help but laugh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:08, Reply)

It was taken in the north.
Of course it looks thirty years old.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:08, Reply)

-_-

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Harro!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Hi son

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:15, Reply)

That's why there are so many Chinese people in north west london.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:17, Reply)

Very good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Morning Jeff

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Morning.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

I'm afraid so.
I was in Sheffield the other day, and by god it still looks rough. When I got back to Luton I felt as though I'd arrived back in the 21st century. That's how grim it was.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:20, Reply)

Fat people should be taxed more as they take up more resources
in terms of space, cakes and the NHS

Alt:
Quentin has indeed upped his game
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:14, Reply)

I find it odd that anyone found him irritating in the first place.
I was sold after the dinosaur flid arms comment.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

I just found him to be dull and repetitive, tbh
Since then, he's had some fantastic posts, but many are rather dull.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:23, Reply)

I find you dull and repetative, tbh.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Everyone does.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:26, Reply)

cos your mum dead?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:31, Reply)

Don't start about the dead mums Quints, it gets me into trouble off chubby lawyer girl.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:34, Reply)

she mum dead too?
we need to sacrifice our mothers in solidarity
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:37, Reply)

But I like my mum.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:38, Reply)

I'm sure everyone "likes" my mum too, just to pre-empt the hilarious responses.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:38, Reply)

stough man, we're never going to fit in with our fully operational family units

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:40, Reply)

'AA's unwillingness to participate in PE is becoming quite a concern.
His excuses have veered from the plausible - although having nine uncles die in the space of two months is perhaps a little unlikely - to the frankly ludicrous. Asking his PE master to believe that someone had chopped his penis off is quite honestly taking things a little too far, even with Mr Wilberforce's legendarily low IQ'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:28, Reply)

"But, but, but Sir! Look, I even got my brother's best mate Neil Buchanan to sign my note!"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Hahahahah aaaaand click

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:55, Reply)

I'm in charge of my team today
So far this has consisted of excluding myself from the coffee-making rota and being told that our boss buys all the girls Malteaser Bunnies every Friday. Any management tips? So far I've rejected wearing a cape and swishing around the office like Darth Vader (insufficient physical presence to rule by terror) and barking like a dog at every third person to talk to me (crap at barking like a dog)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:49, Reply)

One tip only
Don't be a cunt. Everyone will thank you for that and possibly do some work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Really make sure you micro manage every single part of everyone elses job.
You may think this is unnecessary and jsut getting in their way, but the truth is that every single one of your staff are lazy untrustworthy and above all, fucking stupid, so if you don't actually do everything yourself, it will end up being done wrong and having to be redone by you later.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Also, make all staff aware every 15 mins that YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW
This won't lead to them pissing in your brew or rimming the cup at all
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I'm only in the job today and Monday
That sounds like a lot of effort
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

'misunderstand' them and buy all the girls Rampant Rabbits then insist they 'try them out for the lads'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

I've already offered to show them my chocolate-covered treat
If indeed that is chocolate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

...or a treat

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Darth Foxtrot - End of Year review
Darth has taken to Home Economics with a natural flair. His mincing is truly something to behold. PE can be problematic though - his turning of rugby into Swan Lake confused some of the boys and he was "assaulted" in the toilets by them. He refused to press charges and again salsa'd during next lesson's cricket. It two three boys to pull the stumps out of his anus and three weeks for the smile to fade
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)

A*
Witty and nostalgic
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

eythangu
How is the 'Trot today?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:58, Reply)

"He's starting to get right on my wick-et"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 10:05, Reply)