eyes and tits (both features are big but luckily only one is green)
i get asked if both are real. the answer is yes.

contrary to what battered believes, i do not in fact have a cock. he must have been hammered that night.

alt: for where? here? monarchy fine if we can get rid of that waste of scrote-skin prince andrew and the world's dullest woman, kate mediocreton.

altalt: thanks but i've already eaten today's 100 cal soup.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:40, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I believe you tried to previously describe it as a "big hairy clit" to disguise the fact you have male genitalia

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:43, Reply)

She was talking about Monty

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:45, Reply)

no, battered was just so- battered
that he was cuddling up to monty and trying to finger his cock in the mistaken belief he was getting some swipe lovin'.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:50, Reply)

chortles

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:55, Reply)

i think i have horrified battered into silence

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:59, Reply)

Nah, just doing some work for a change.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:03, Reply)

fake eyes are pretty fucking difficult to pull off, though.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:48, Reply)

easier than the real thing, i'd have thought

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:49, Reply)

I just saw something on the internet that made me laugh.
Women to man: My gynacologist says that I can't have sex for 2 weeks.
Man to women: Can I get a second opinion from your dentist?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:59, Reply)

haha
wait. sexist!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:00, Reply)