I am moved to nausea
By a poster which cropped on the side of various London buses a little while ago. Said poster comprises a photograph of actor Ryan Reynolds looking incredibly smug, dressed up a suit that looks like it was designed to amplify his own intrinsic smugness, next to a picture of a revoltingly smug-looking bottle of perfume, apparently designed by some smug cunt called "Hugo Boss," with the unbelievably smug slogan, attributed to Mr Reynolds, of
"I don't expect success I prepare for it."

I don't know what enrages me more: the skin-crawlingly, bowel-voidingly, gut-churningly awful, conceited, self-satisfied air of insufferable up-your-own-arseness that this slogan presents? (I mean, really, it as well have read "LOOK AT ME, I'M A TURD IN A SUIT. YOU CAN BE AN EQUALLY GHASTLY TURD IF YOU BUY THIS SHIT THAT I AM PAID TO REPRESENT.") Or the flagrant absence of a comma?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:01, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

you blatantly fancy him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)

DO NOT UNDERMINE MY IRE

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)

You forgot to mention that he si Canadian

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)

I didn't know that.
(Does this make him any more or less of a cunt?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

More
he is half American and half French
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

So
he can't speak English properly and he reeks of garlic? No wonder he needs the fucking perfume.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)

He drives him Van Wilder than a 1972 Fender Precision.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

I think he holds green lantern candle for him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Then again, maybe he wants to be Just Friends

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

2nd time lucky eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Yep, not sure how it went wrong first time round...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Well, I presume you got as far as typing "Van" and then knocked the "enter" key with your head dobber

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Wouldn't surprise me!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:13, Reply)

Assuming it's not just a lucky guess
Your knowledge of my wishlist is a little bit unnerving...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Who wouldn't want one?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Good point
I'm just a little unnerved by the precision (excuse the pun) of his guess - I probably mentioned a 1972 Precision in the past, but that would be a post from donkey's years ago.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:15, Reply)

I searched 'Fender', hoping to find any guitar name
A post by you was on there, that made it easy.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)

fuckin stalker

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:17, Reply)

Fair cop

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)