This morning on my way to work I saw a pigeon eating the lumps out of a puddle of puke on the pavement
What is the most disgusting thing you have seen recently? *

Alt: What odd things have you seen on your commute?

*Anyone mentioning my face or my mother will get fisted by Nick Clegg.


I posted this first thing but deleted it when I realised I had stomped MMPS. You're welcome.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:36, 79 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

A video on /links yesterday had spliced an interview with Assad's wife condeming
Isreal for killing indicriminately in Lebananon, with footage from the current Syrian crackdown. Within the footage was the a couple of seconds of a boy of about 10 with half his head missing :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:40, Reply)

Glad I didn't see that. Puts my pigeon viewing in to context.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)

There was much anger with the poster
The irony of the interview is utterly astounding though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:44, Reply)

I guess the poster hadn't labelled it NSFTWDLLASKWOHAH

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:45, Reply)

explain

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)

I was casually chucking up leaning against the wall
of a mates house, and his dog ran over and was just eating it all up which made me hurl worse etc. We had all been to a steak restaurant so the dog was having a field day.

Alt: Forrins. No charm or social grace. Coming over here...
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)

do you think dogs like eating puke or are they jsut really frugal?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)

I've never tasted dog food
but if it's as bad as the shit Battered's firm serves then we'd likely eat puke too.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Dogs eating puke and shit is, I believe,
a sign that they are missing something in their diet.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Like what?
They're carnivores.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Processed dog food doesn't always give them the supplements they need.
We feed our dog raw meat, bones, fish and liquidised vegetables. She doesn't eat shit as a result.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)

Why the vegetables? You see adverts for vegetables in pet food, too.
Which always makes me think "people are stupid".
( Kroney, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)

They would form part of a dog's natural diet.
Same with fruit. We've fed our dog this diet for the last few years, and even though she's eleven years old she still acts like a puppy.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Dogs are omnivores?
Oh. Well, you learn something new every day.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)

Quintin has taught to eat peanut butter...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)

The natural diet is the way to go.
Before we put her onto it she used to get horrendous, erm, 'glandular' problems. It fucking stank. Not a problem since.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

That's because I sneak into your house every night and finger her arsehole

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Nakers, give Jeff his log-in back.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)

They just like denying a tramp a hot meal.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Ha ha. Stunned Chum™ Now with added lager top.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)

It was Turbo Gin & Tonics

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:43, Reply)

i walked by two puddles of piss this morning

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)

Walk on by.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:44, Reply)

+before leaving the house

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)

About a year ago
just the other side of our office window a seagull caught, tortured and then ate a pigeon.

Right nasty bastard it was too. It left one wing.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Cats are vicious fuckers when they catch something. People go "ah look a kitty cat, how cute" when it truth they are selfish bastards who like to torture birds and small mammals.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)

When they bring stuff into the house
it's because they're trying to teach you to hunt. Trufax.

They do it because they think you're shit.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:51, Reply)

My cat does.
One afternoon it killed a bird, a mouse and a squirrel. It had part eaten all of them but wanted me to see them and so came and got me.

In the back garden was a weird Squirdouse chimera all hooked together on the ground.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Your cat thinks you're incapable of feeding yourself.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Yet capable of feeding her.
Stupid cat.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:53, Reply)

My mum's cat brings live mice into the house and releases them.
If you met my mum, you'd understand why this cat is stupid. No way is she running around hunting a mouse.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)

One of our cats waits for another to catch stuff then hits it and steals whatever it has caught.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)

I let myself into my inlaws house once
to their three cats in the kitchen with, 2 mice, 1 chick and a fucking great rabbit.

As I released each animal they would simply bring in more, it was utter carnage.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)

opne of these cats is fat and lazy and a shit hunter
I saw it playing with a mouse once, then it accidentally sat on the mouse and couldn't work out where it had gone.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)

Eyes bigger than it's belly eh?

(TheColonel, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Eyes Wings
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Hahaha. Greedy bastard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)

My mum.
:(
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:50, Reply)

She is an ugly cunt, no doubt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)

i ha
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)

A saw a duck on the A1 that was frantically flapping its one remaining wing
This despite the fact that right hand side of its body was totally flattened. Made me feel quite queasy.

Alt:
I saw a couple going at it hammer and tongs in their living room when the Metro stopped at a red light just outside South Gosforth station.

Also, an entire family of foxes casually walking across the line in front of the Metro. Not going to see the fucking couple, this was another time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)

uggh, South Gosport *shudder*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)

No, you plum
Gosforth
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)

I fail to see how this is better

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Gosforth is very nice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)

It is in the North therefore it is shit, FACT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)

You must live in the fucking Arctic then, you monumental cunt!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

*blows seal*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

A tramp sat asleep against a wall, with puke absolutely covering his front
The smell was absolutely fucking horrific, I think he'd shat himself too.

Alt: It wasn't odd, but I did chuckle most heartily at the lad on the bus this morning, who was walking down the stairs as the driver braked, then accelerated again. This meant he stumbled backwards, before being thrown face first into the piece of metal at the bottom of the stairs. He quietly said 'Ow' as he got off the bus. That made me laugh even more than the initial impact.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:59, Reply)

My mate posted on Facebook that he had tried to pull his duvet cover up
and yanked too hard, leading to him waking up by punching himself in the face. I lolled heartily at this and his follow up comment about almost punching a nun in a wheelchair in the face whilst trying to navigate her into his taxi
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Haha, that's excellent

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

I thought so

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

I am moved to nausea
By a poster which cropped on the side of various London buses a little while ago. Said poster comprises a photograph of actor Ryan Reynolds looking incredibly smug, dressed up a suit that looks like it was designed to amplify his own intrinsic smugness, next to a picture of a revoltingly smug-looking bottle of perfume, apparently designed by some smug cunt called "Hugo Boss," with the unbelievably smug slogan, attributed to Mr Reynolds, of
"I don't expect success I prepare for it."

I don't know what enrages me more: the skin-crawlingly, bowel-voidingly, gut-churningly awful, conceited, self-satisfied air of insufferable up-your-own-arseness that this slogan presents? (I mean, really, it as well have read "LOOK AT ME, I'M A TURD IN A SUIT. YOU CAN BE AN EQUALLY GHASTLY TURD IF YOU BUY THIS SHIT THAT I AM PAID TO REPRESENT.") Or the flagrant absence of a comma?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)

you blatantly fancy him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)

DO NOT UNDERMINE MY IRE

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)

You forgot to mention that he si Canadian

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)

I didn't know that.
(Does this make him any more or less of a cunt?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

More
he is half American and half French
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

So
he can't speak English properly and he reeks of garlic? No wonder he needs the fucking perfume.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)

He drives him Van Wilder than a 1972 Fender Precision.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

I think he holds green lantern candle for him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Then again, maybe he wants to be Just Friends

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

2nd time lucky eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Yep, not sure how it went wrong first time round...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Well, I presume you got as far as typing "Van" and then knocked the "enter" key with your head dobber

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Wouldn't surprise me!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:13, Reply)

Assuming it's not just a lucky guess
Your knowledge of my wishlist is a little bit unnerving...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Who wouldn't want one?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Good point
I'm just a little unnerved by the precision (excuse the pun) of his guess - I probably mentioned a 1972 Precision in the past, but that would be a post from donkey's years ago.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:15, Reply)

I searched 'Fender', hoping to find any guitar name
A post by you was on there, that made it easy.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)

fuckin stalker

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:17, Reply)

Fair cop

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)

There was a dead cat on a verge near mine which I passed every day, over a period of a month or so.
Every day, a bit more decomposed and pigeon nibbled. It began as fascinating, and became rether interesting, until one day it had gone, felt a little sads.
City pigeons are hard bastards.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Where I walk the dog a pheasant had died in a tree
It lay in the branches for about a month, getting slowly more and more gruesome then one day it finally fell on the floor and disappeared in the 10 mins of me walking past it and back again
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)

It was DELICIOUS

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)

I thought the maggoty garnish made it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:15, Reply)

[EDIT BECAUSE IT CONTAINS TO MUCH TECHINCAL STUFF]

I'm having a fucking shitty fucking day.

AND FOR FUCKINS FUCKING IGNINGAOISNDGOIANSDOGIANSDOIGNASOIDNGIOSDNG FUCKS SAKE

Just now I went to get a glass of water, turned the tap a little bit, and it was pouring and suddenly the presure shot out super fast an the glass shot out of my hand and shattered everywhere.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)

Let it all out Gonz!
We all have one of those days every now and again. Go and scream at a wall. Or hit cardboard boxes with a rolled up newspaper.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)

cardboard boxes Quinten
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:53, Reply)