FUCKING HELL ENGLAND HOW HARD IS IT TO THROW A BAT AT A BALL
Today I will also be bemoaning my diet, and possibly buying some shoes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:54, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

ffs
shoes masculinity
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:56, Reply)

I'm terribly sorry, I don't know who you are
Now fuck off
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:58, Reply)

off me up the Oxo tower
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Have you got some kind of tired meme checklist that you're ticking off?
Quick, call Battered short, that's a classic
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Or call Chompy a rapist. That one never fails.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

We're delving back into "/OT - The Golden Years" now
I'm not sure this impostor has been lurking enough to pick up all the great hits of yesteryear
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

All your favourite hits
The B69 mortgage payment.
The Bert meltdown.
Rory's classics. The best of the trolling from our own top troll.
The Cat Hater outs himself as Bert.
Al breaking the internet by sitting on it.
Battered flouncing.
Darths favourite homo accusations.
A selection of Gonz's top recipes.
Chompy's newslinks

And many, many more.

Available now for a limited period on blue ray DVD. Don't miss out on this amazing opportunity to own a copy of '/OT - The Golden Years'
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I'm not a rapist

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Can you prove this?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:11, Reply)

yes
he can spell
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:14, Reply)

*applauds*
I like this
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:15, Reply)

i have my suspicion as to who it is
but my lips are sealed.

i don't THINK it's al, though. but i've been wrong before.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:20, Reply)

Ah go on tell us,
there's nothing else going on.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:22, Reply)

no because it's just my idea and i'm probably wrong
and you know me, i'm not one to stir things.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:25, Reply)

I think even if you are wrong it will be amusing
Just think of all the fun to be had with denials, counter-accusations, etc.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:29, Reply)

I vote Al

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:23, Reply)

What will it take to unseal your lips?
Apart from an attractive, high-earning homosexual
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:23, Reply)

I'm not sure you earn enough money old bean

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:24, Reply)

haha

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:25, Reply)

fake monty wrote a similar reply but deleted it
who would do a thing like that?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:26, Reply)

hmmmm i didn't see that
my suspicions are increasing!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:29, Reply)

I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we've shared

It was awesome but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you

The 7 things I hate about you (oh you)
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
And when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It's awkward and silent
As I wait for you to say
But what I need to hear now
Is your sincere apology
And when you mean it, I'll believe it
If you text it, I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh I'm not coming back
You're taking 7 steps here

And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention
The 7 that I like

The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined everything's alright
I want to be
With the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you
You do (oh)
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:31, Reply)

You fancy me

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:31, Reply)

the ex is on holiday and watching the cricket
but he is cheering for SL, so he keeps sending me gleeful messages.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Send him one back
"You're a cunt"

Feel free to embellish this with your personal reasons for thinking so
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

anyone but england, basically
he's the same with football. i think it's more a reaction against the fans than the team. or something. i'd probably tuned out by then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:02, Reply)

He's a twat.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

yes
i suspect there may be some truth in this
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Well, at least he's an Ex.
I'd have felt bad if I'd have had to tell you your current gay boyfriend was a twat. I'd have done it, but I'd have felt bad.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Every time you tell me anything about this fellow I find him ever more objectionable
I suggest you invite him round for coitus and set fire to his pubes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I suspect that if they are throwing the bat at the ball, this may be what is causing the problem.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:00, Reply)

The way they're batting I reckon a b3ta XI could do better
The sledging would be something to behold
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:02, Reply)

It would have to be an OT XI
If you opened it up to QOTWers you'd just get eleven people repeating the biscuit line as if they'd just invented it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Good point
I bet Al's running between the wickets is most impressive
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

I can't bat
but I can bowl, i hope this helps
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:18, Reply)

I think you're perfectly well aware that a paucity of bowlers is not the problem
Poor old Jimmy Anderson, takes a five-fer and finds himself padded up and at the crease inside two hours, outscores most of the specialist batsmen and has to bowl again.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:29, Reply)

someone's gotta do it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:31, Reply)

With this attitude I can't understand why you're not chairman of selectors

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:35, Reply)