Alt: I lasted an hour and thought I was some sort of sexual Tyrannosaur.
Turns out I was doing it wrong.
( Kroney, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:03, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I guess it's difficult to get much "purchase" on the holo-deck

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:04, Reply)

I always disengage the safety protocols
I got a holo-dose :(
( Kroney, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Did you stick it between his thighs instead of up his dirtbox?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:04, Reply)

His ear, he was just too polite to say anything.
I have no idea how I got to the age of 30 with absolutely no grasp on basic human anatomy nor how unpleasant it must have been for your dad to put up with an amateurish hour long ear-fucking. He was very gentle, though.
( Kroney, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)

did he at least shave his lobes first?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Aural sex?

( Peej, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)

* golf applause *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:16, Reply)

You have little fliddy arms?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:06, Reply)

"Sexual" Tyrannosaur.
I have a little, fliddy cock.
( Kroney, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)

That's why he's so angry.
Can't reach his cock to wank.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)

He should date a diplodocus
they do amazing deepthroat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)

This is a very shit post.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)

It's ok, I redeemed myslef up there

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:19, Reply)

+er

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)

I'm too three dimensional and heavy for the pins :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)

...or fat as we like to call it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)

You're even worse than usual today.
I didn't know it was possible. I'm appalled.
( Kroney, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)

whatever you 24 year old virgin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)

I'm not ashamed.
I was at the time, though. Jesus.
( Kroney, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)

People thought I'd sewn a pair of Space Hoppers to my trousers.

( Kroney, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:29, Reply)

24??
Jesus. That's a long wait.

I'd already had a 6 year relationship with your Mum by then.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:36, Reply)

diplodocus triceratops

do amazing deepthroat 've permanently got the horn
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 3 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)

LTI

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Yay!

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 3 May 2012, 10:27, Reply)