Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm not enjoying this thread one bit.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:20,
4 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Well imagine the scene:Office kitchen, staff and nurses rushing about trying to get their fix of coffee or tea both red and green topped milk moving quickly from fridge to side and back again. Kettles filling the room with a thick steam.
When in walks your hero, PsychoChomp. He's on a mission, a mission for Doritoes. The corn snacks are staring at him from one of the two prized vending machines. The one on the left of the coke machine. PsychoChomp knows what he wants and he knows how to get it.
Because unknown to the rest of the drones in the kitchen, PsychoChomp has descovered a secret. A secret that if shared could blow the cosy little world of the kitchen apart. Our hero psychochomp, using all of his charm wit and fierce analytical brain has noticed that the vending machine on the left registers 5p pieces but then spits them out of change. A normal man would ignore that fact. But Psychochomp is no normal man. He spent time amasing 5ps for this ultimate heist. His hand swelled with the mass of 5ps, all 11 of them. He put them quickly into the vending machine desperate not to draw attention to himself. He pressed B4 with flair. And then the beautiful sound of Doritoes falling seemingly forever into the darkness. Success doritoes were now his. But they fixed the machine or some shit so I had to pay for them.
(, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:39, Reply)
It's not explicitly clear who had the last laugh in this story.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
I was moved more by glued eels tale of vending machines(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
oh man, Eustacio Doritos got you good(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
I once got a bag of crisps stuck in a vending machine and it let me pick another, which got stuck on topso I picked a bag of maltesers which were also above the blockage, then finally a can of coke which flushed it all through.
is it a better vending machine story than that?
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
i like cats a lotbut i liked kristine's comment a lot too.
i'm so conflicted.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
they get all up on the table and shit and all looking at your food, like yo, you don't eat my foodif I offer you some chicken you just sniff it and walk away
plus omg cat litter boxes!!! YUCK. and they puke just any fucking where, at least my dog will go outside to puke.
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:26,
Reply)
without an american accenti just can't pull any of this off.
in english:
uninvited and ignoring noises of discouragement, they leap up onto the table. they inspect the food, further ignoring disparaging cries from the diners. if any food is offered, it will be rejected with a cool blink from green eyes and a swish of an irritable tail. and their toilets stink. in addition to this, they vomit anywhere they like. at least a dog has the courtesy to go outside.
it's just NOT THE SAME.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
I think he should delete itThen we can start a new thread complaining about people who delete their threads.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
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