Alright chompy,
I've just been trying to finish tonights quiz. Last week the losing team asked for a specialist round on 50 shades of grey. Now, I knew the book was going to be trashy, but my god its worse than I expected. I feel a bit sick.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:06, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT IT!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:08, Reply)

I also, as part of my research, had a look at other bad sex scenes in literature.
The one Tony Blair wrote about Cherie was vomit inducing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:13, Reply)

I can just imagine this round of the quiz...
Question 1: Charles put his hand roughly on Sylvia's silken thigh. What root vegetable was he brandishing in his other hand?

Question 2: As Sylvia bounced around on Charles rampant throbbing member at the Christmas party, what did the other guests pretend to be doing to avoid embarrassment?

Question 3: When Fytch the gardener caught Sylvia and Lady Annabel comparing clitoris sizes in teh summer house, what did he offer to do for them?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:17, Reply)

i chickened out,
And just am going with giving them 10 quotes from soft porn novels, and letting them guess which are from 50 shades. I can't read it out while people are eating.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:26, Reply)

Why do people
(by which I mean women) insist on reading shoddily written toss like that when there's perfectly good, well-written filth out there?

I saw my first copy of 50 Wanks at the bootsale this weekend. Give it another month, you won't be able to *give* the things away.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Please miss! I know miss! Miss!
1) people are blithering retards who deserve to die in agony
2) if 'everyone is talking about' something, loads of fucking mongols will want to read it so they're 'on-trend'. NB 'on-trend' is not a real term and was made up by precisely the kind of cunts who want to read something to be 'on-trend'
3) To annoy me. I cannot absolutely prove this but I am fucking certain of it.
4) Asylum seekers
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)

I'm not sure about that last one
but the first three are definitely right.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:14, Reply)

I've read a fair bit of it now,
and I can with all honesty say that anyone turned on by the turgid, stilted, poorly written, bizarre and even worrying metaphors this book is made up of needs a fucking blow torch to the eyeballs.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:15, Reply)

I am ready and willing to administer said blowtorching.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:16, Reply)

torch job
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:18, Reply)

stop it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Looks like she has.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Aug 2012, 16:39, Reply)