Something less serious
Who would win in a fight - Solomon Grundy or Michael Finnegan? Explain your answer. Use diagrams where necessary.

Alt: Suggest your own gladiatorial match-up.

Altalt: I'm hungry. I get the feeling this should prompt a question but I can't quite put my finger on it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:50, 130 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

altalt: Beyonce'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:52, Reply)

I don't think she needs feeding up

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:53, Reply)

I don't have the faintest idea who they are
unless you mean the gentlemen in the folky-type songs.

In which case the Finnegan chap, as his rapid changes in mass would make him a challenge to attack, plus also he appears to have acquired zombie status by the late stages of his life.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:56, Reply)

His enduring ability to 'begin again' would surely stand him in good stead.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 12:00, Reply)

Quite so, quite so.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 12:02, Reply)

this is so true
of any man
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

Depends which day of the week they fight on.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:56, Reply)

you need al for diagrams
but didn't solomon grundy die halfway through the week*? therefore michael just needs to time it correctly.

alt: ken livingstone and bob crow. to the DEATH.

altalt: sssh. i get a 125 cal "cream of onion" soup sachet and a litre of highland spring for my lunch. urgh.


* presumably he paid his inheritance tax
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I tried to reply this earlier.
the problem with your scenario is that only one of them would die. I suggest you haven't thought it through.

How about Ken, Bob and an angry, rapey Grizzly bear?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:07, Reply)

I'd pay good money to watch that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:09, Reply)

i had a brilliant answer to your housing comment too
but when i pressed post, i think it killed b3ta.

well, he said gladiatorial. so i was thinking the audience would give the thumbs down to kill off both the loser and the victor. but your way sounds more painful.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:11, Reply)

go on, repost it, I'm still looking for anyone to produce an argument that isn't purely based in selfishness

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:13, Reply)

i think i said something like
ok, so you have 2 brothers. one of them decides to buy a house. it's £50,000. so he waits for 2 years, saving every penny to put down a deposit. when he buys it, he works his arse off to pay the mortgage, and given interest rates etc, he ends up paying off about £80,000 over the next 25 years. every spare penny he has goes into repairing it, insuring it, decorating it, improving it. meanwhile his twin brother gets a girl up the duff, gets a council flat, the council pay for everything in it, and he doesn't bother working apart from for a bit of cash in hand here and there. he spends every penny he has on fags, booze, and generally enjoying himself.

when the homeowner dies, under your suggested rules, his children get to keep the money that he put in, but no more. the rest of it has to go elsewhere. is this what you are saying would be a fair reward for his lifetime of careful hard work and parsimony?

but it was better the first time round :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:19, Reply)

"but no more" - no, they get 60% of the more.
It's a tax, not theft.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:26, Reply)

no, that's what happens now
badger is proposing something different.

and even if he wasn't, he is now. never let facts get in the way of a good story.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:28, Reply)

I wasn't proposing it
I was saying that's what should happen to people that moan that the current system where they are taxed on free money is unfair. Because then they might understand why the money was free and why the current taxation system is entirely fair.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)

sssssh
mine makes you sound less reasonable and more of a cunt.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:34, Reply)

yeah, but secretly you prefer the idea of me being a cunt.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:40, Reply)

what on earth is secret about that?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Gah.
It's not a "reward"

It's free money. He hasn't "earned" the increase in house value, that has come through the sheer fucking luck of living in a country where house prices increase over time.

And anyway, those weren't my suggested rules, they were a flippant demonstration of the fact that people whining about having to pay 40% tax on a shitloand of unearned free money are being just a teensy wee bit selfish.

I apologise, I should have stuck to rapey bears.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)

hahaha
i'd like to see you tell someone like my dad that the increase in value of his property as a consequence of his working for 40 years to pay off his mortgage, to say nothing of the price of everything else rising too, is "free money". i'd bring popcorn for that one!!

so, this rapey bear. is he single?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Well, it is.
A mortgage is someone lending you money to buy something and demanding interest on it, swipe. You don't get for your car to be worth more at the end if you borrow the money to pay for it from someone.

what you work hard for is to earn a living. Your house is worth more purely because you live in the UK. Not because of anything that you've done. Pure blind luck of the draw, or more accurately, decades of economic growth.

I can't believe anyone with an ounce of intelligence would seriously use the "worked for decades to pay off some money that was borrowed from a bank" as a kind of justification for deserving some reward. All he's done is not break the terms of a loan agreement whilst a bank gave him some money and took the risk. Whoop-de-do. Well deserved, I'm sure you'll agree.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:38, Reply)

In fact, if you really think about it
Since the bank took the risk in lending the money, the bank should be entitled to a share of the profits, right? it's their money that's done the work. getting to keep 60% seems like a right fucking result to me when you really think about it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:43, Reply)

the bank has had its share of the profits
as you'll see when you look at what is repaid versus what is borrowed.

the rest is spurious. SPURIOUS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:46, Reply)

It really isn't, you know.
Not in the slightest.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:52, Reply)

it assumes that one cares about other people
and doesn't think they are all complete cunts, though
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

granted, granted.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Rapey bears improve most situations

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:14, Reply)

you homo scum

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:15, Reply)

it's not rape if you look forward to it, sporty

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:19, Reply)

"You're not really here for the hunting, are you?"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:37, Reply)

the fuck happened there?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:03, Reply)

did everyone have you on 2.0?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:05, Reply)

The whole site had me on 2.0 :o(

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)

this^ and indeed that ^
Someone stole b3ta. I blame b3th.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)

Rob is installing new servers.
It's going to do this for a day or two.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)

I was not aware of this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:07, Reply)

did you not see the memo? It was clearly in your intray
I've been warning you for weeks about the state of your desk, Cow, and now this. I've a good mind to give you a written warning.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Once I find my in-tray I'll read it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:08, Reply)

WELL IT WAS NICE OF HIM TO LET ME KNOW

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:07, Reply)

It's well known that gingers have no empathy for others

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:08, Reply)

and i have no empathy for them

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:09, Reply)

What a cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:09, Reply)

Apparently it is not good conduct to laugh at the statement
"(Sportscalf) likes stroking (step-sportscalf's) bearded dragon"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:13, Reply)

i have a meeting in basingstoke tomorrow
what's it like? someone described it to me as the Las Vegas of Hampshire
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:16, Reply)

It's a fucking dump.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:17, Reply)

i'd take that as given, but as this is your default setting i'd like to open it up to other contributors
thx
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:18, Reply)

never been
but whoever called it that probably had their tongue in their cheek.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:20, Reply)

apparently it's south central england's answer to florida

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Hurricanes?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)

i think you're in for a major disappointment

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)

It certainly looks Mickey Mouse

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)

i've just been told that the high street is like Brazil during Mardi Gras

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:34, Reply)

i've never been Q,
Sorry I can't help.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:32, Reply)

There's lots of roundabouts but it's not as good as milton keynes.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)

more roundabouts = better?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:45, Reply)

As a rule of thumb, yes.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:49, Reply)

as a rule of bum, more like

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Thumb up the bum, no harm done

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Hey Lighty!
When your dad 'gave us kids a big wedge of cash each a few years back' to dodge inheritance tax, you did *of course* give 40% of it to the taxman. I mean, I'm sure you did, because that would only be fair, right?

*pulls mooner*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:17, Reply)

his dad gave me a lot of cash :(((

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:18, Reply)

anyone else notice how instead of 'www' the adress bar says 'trifle.b3ta' now?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:20, Reply)

No, but good spot

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)

No

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)

god hates fags

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)

He smokes cigars instead

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Oh you!
I'm going to have this conversation with my parents when they return from holiday. More for the nursing home costs.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)

It was all totally legit.
I collected the entirely legitimate dufflebag of fivers from the left luggage office of Peterborough Railway Station, just like any other business transaction.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Solomon Grundy the Batman enemy? If so him, he's immortal
/comics
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)

it's a nursery rhyme you cretin.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:26, Reply)

It's also a Batman super villan you CUNT!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:26, Reply)

i know.
I like the batman comics.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)

i like the one where he commits suicide

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:48, Reply)

just got an email from links of london
something about para-olympic jewellery.

what kind of charms would they have for that, i wonder?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:29, Reply)

Jewelled stumps

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)

i was thinking of a silver wheelchair charm

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:34, Reply)

One-handora

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:35, Reply)

I have a free reign for dinner this evening
What should I make?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

a fucking mess of the kitchen.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

This goes without saying

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:58, Reply)

a little crown and sceptre

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:59, Reply)

OUT OF WHAT?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:59, Reply)

bran flakes

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:59, Reply)

*adds Bran Flakes to shopping list*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:00, Reply)

wait,
Did vagabond just delete a thread?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

2.0 baby

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

dunno i've got him on ignore

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:55, Reply)

No he's put you on ignore

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:57, Reply)

Hmm, he must be ignoring me too then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:59, Reply)

i suspect that was the idea of his post
he'll try to ignore everyone, but i ignored him first, the tedious cunt
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Fair enough

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:00, Reply)

no, I think he did just delete a thread,
I just logged out and there's nothing above this one.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:05, Reply)

i thought they meant on main QOTW?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Oh, right. I haven't looked there

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:07, Reply)

prickname

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:09, Reply)

come on man, right now we need to stand together against the greater menace of the wobblers

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:16, Reply)

i meant it affectionately, i'll add a kiss and a smiley so you see what i mean
prickname :) xx
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Handicap tag team match
In the shit-brown corner, Liam and Noel Gallagher, in the, erm, other; Chuck Norris, Juggernaut from the X-Men and a fucking tiger.

Winner; humanity.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:11, Reply)

Is that a specific type of tiger?
Like a rapey bear?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:14, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Yeah
It's stripes are spaff-white instead of black and it has a dodgy handlebar moustache.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:15, Reply)

sexay tigers

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:16, Reply)

In other news, I keep needing a piss
It's this fucking diet. It's ever so clever, right, you just eat less. But am still knocking back the H2O and it's passing through me faster than a watery shit through Barrymore's bumhole. Am off to the crapper now, I expect many brilliant replies when I return.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:14, Reply)

I drink fucking loads of water every day
yet I'm always thirsty. Fucking shit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:16, Reply)

Diabeties

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)

I have been checked for it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

AIDS

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:22, Reply)

Passed that one already!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Knock the salt water on the head
I don't care if the taste reminds you of school
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Was he a fish?!?!?!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Billy No Mates

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Billy Whizz more like
AMIRITE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:21, Reply)

Not in school
Maybe about 19-20
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

TWINS
Wait, no, I was 21 when I succumbed. OLDER BROTHER
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)

+to my

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Hahaha!
Nice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I drink about 2 pints of water and 5 or 6 cups of tea at work
More water in the evening, too. I'm pissing every hour or so. Keeps me looking busy.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Is everyone else only seeing two posts on the popular page?
A new low. EVERYONE BE FUNNY NOW
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

I was on there :o(

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Hahahaha
Clicking this.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)

I think everyone should just click 5 random posts regardless
Just to get the page repopulated, right now the other boards are POINTING and LAUGHING at us and saying "You're not very amusing!" in a cruel and mocking way.

Doesn't matter if the posts you click aren't funny, we'll just claim they are to us cos we're so cool and knowing.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Have you been on any of the other boards recently?
They are even less lively than here.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)

No
recently ever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:27, Reply)

That fact you're on it say everything.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:22, Reply)

everything

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)

It's like Airplane everyday on here.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Don't call me Shirley, etc.

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:25, Reply)

IKR
What is the world coming to
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Start a new thread not about tax then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:26, Reply)

Maybe I will
EDIT: will I shite, bindun
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)