It's a sunny Saturday morning - the weekend stretches out in front of us, full of potential.
So, my sweaty-handed internet shut-in brethren (there are no women on the internet - trufax) what are your inspirational and uplifting ideas for what will be a great weekend?

Alt: best tandoori recipe - I need to get a really good one for tomorrow's BBQ.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 9:00, 29 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

cram your potential up a bulldog's blurter

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Sat 8 Sep 2012, 9:09, Reply)

^This^
With added fuck off.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 9:20, Reply)

no point replying to me here, I just got Ignored2.0


(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Sat 8 Sep 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Winstone Churchill - "Mr Skins"

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 15:15, Reply)

Never mind that bollocks,
why are we getting the blame for apeloverage getting called a spamming cunt when it was you lot?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 9:29, Reply)

ringofyre has me on 2.0 :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)

'You lot'?
Which lot?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Battered and Gonz

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)

It's because everyone from /talk is a MEEN BULLY.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)

alright Tangers?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Morning plummers.
I have just pre-ordered Untrue, which is being reissued on vinyl later this month.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)

well done.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Yeah, but we didn't give a shit about him spamming his book until it became entertaining to take the piss out of him about it.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 11:34, Reply)

have I missed excitement again?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 13:20, Reply)

KILLYOURSELF!!!!!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 8 Sep 2012, 11:20, Reply)

I might do a tandoori in the pizza oven.
That's genuinely the first time I've ever read anything of any vague use or stimulation on /offmilk.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 11:26, Reply)

have you tried the bbc website? they do informative news articles, the weather and food rescipes amongst other stuff

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 11:27, Reply)

I like the bbc website.
It goes a small way towards compensating for the morbid uselessness of the rest of the internet.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 11:28, Reply)

not everything is on the internet
I know that's hard to believe, but there are other things
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Fuck off.
It's this sort of talk that has ruined the internet.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Might try this one next in my summer of beercan chicken experiments
www.cookstr.com/recipes/beer-can-tandoori
( b3tz, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)

It's the weekend!
It's bound to be inspirational just because it's the weekend! Peace and love and all that, dude.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)

JAMES
MY MIDDLE NAME IS LIKE YOUR NAME
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 18:15, Reply)

It's quiet innit
It's almost as if people here have lives or something
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 18:16, Reply)

Now it's Saturday evening
You're nearly half way through your so-called weekend.

Are you having fun yet?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 20:18, Reply)

Fun has already been had!
I'd forgotten how entertaining a long countryside walk with an inquisitive small dog can be, Especially when the walk is topped off with a few beers at the local.
The dog's now fed, watered and knackered, lying in her basket snoring.
Simple pleasures.
Soon there will be curry and a film. Life is good.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 20:27, Reply)

There was a possibility of my dogs appearing at a dog show tomorrow
This is not going to happen which is a huge relief as the dogs get bored shitless when they're on their leads for more than about ten minutes.

Last time we tried one of them pissed up my leg in the showing ring.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 20:59, Reply)

alright TD
I have to venture dangerously close to Heaton three times in the next week. If I didn't know she'd buggered off down other end of the country, I'd be terrified of bumping into you-know-who.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 20:37, Reply)

Now then Mr W.
I don't often have to go that way but last time I did the pub was for lease, which rather casts doubt on her insistence that it was "owned" by her father.

It also appears that her blog has understated the current literary (sic) phenemenon by 20%.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 20:55, Reply)