I fucking wish they were
Went to a competition yesterday and spent most of the afternoon wanting to cry like a girl. It was absolutely pathetic.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:34, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hi mate
Have you tried just MTFUing?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

I have.
I was very, very bad at it. A week ago I would have made comparison with an Englishman's ability to play spin on the subcontinent, but as of this weekend, my similes are as apt as praise heaped upon the organisers of the Olympic closing ceremony.

And how are you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)

Well that's true. Hope you're back to full mental fitness ASAP.
Just last week I was banging on about the England's need for a second spinner to my barely-interested workmate and bish-bash-bosh, job's a good 'un.

I'm very well ta. I have to say that everything is pretty much fucking excellent at the moment. Quite remarkable really.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

Well that's excellent news
Glad to hear it mate :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

what are the drugs for?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

making it worse

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)

Depression
I am well aware that this is a girls' and/or mincers' illness
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)

OI!
As a fellow member of the 'not allowed near sharp objects or dressing gown cords' brigade, I resent that statement.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)

that's just to stop you hastening Mr Beth's path to the afterlife, though.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:49, Reply)

But... you ARE a girl, b3th
Honest. Look down if you don't believe me.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:50, Reply)

I hope you don't mean 'at my feet'
because i can't see them.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

Someone's stolen your eyes?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

Yes, because your feet, and not what's in the way,
are what define you as a woman
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:53, Reply)

: p

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:54, Reply)

Cheer up.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

Bloody hell
That's worked a treat! You should be on the telly. Apart from Crimewatch.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:48, Reply)

You don't get a degree in Psychology for nothing you know.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

Tell that to Derek Acorah
or someone. I don't know.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:53, Reply)

I just want to check - you don't keep bread in the fridge do you?
I'd hate for you to have AIDS on top of all your other problems.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

The missus does
But she has that gluten-free nonsense which I would most certainly not categorise as bread.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:53, Reply)

For no reason I can find
there is a packet of gluten free spaghetti in my cupboard. I can only think Lusty picked it up in error.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:58, Reply)

That sounds like something SuperHans would do whilst smacked out of his skull
If only there was a drug-addled miscreant living at your place you'd have your culprit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 14:04, Reply)

Of course it fucking isn't.


Oh, sorry, I meant "man the fuck up you screaming Mary"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:49, Reply)

Well done there
Your b3ta membership and decent bloke status preserved in a single post. That's almost multitasking. Watch yourself, that shit'll get you burnt as a witch.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:55, Reply)

I live in Scotland, mate
I'm basically amphibian now. I'll die of boredom before they manage to get me alight.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:58, Reply)

Aha, so there is a reason to live there
BIT niche, mind
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 14:03, Reply)

You know,
I wasn't sure it was true about you being gay. But now I see, my doubts were unfounded.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

Ironically, I was at a Ballroom competition
and was therefore just about the butchest motherfucker in the building
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)

In fairness if I was forced to attend a ballroom competition I'd be pretty unhappy myself.
It's a perfectly natural reaction to being forced to squander your weekend hanging about with pretty much the biggest chutneys on earth just in the faint hope of a 'thank you' nosh off your missus.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:46, Reply)

I wonder if saying "I've been diagnosed with depression so that means you need to cheer me up"
would work as a chat up line.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

There were lezzers there too

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:54, Reply)

They're everywhere!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:55, Reply)

Last time I went round my mother's there were two of the fuckers there.
Ghastly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:59, Reply)