Despite that momentary lapse, I am ready
We will march forward with pikes, pitchforks, pointy things and other sharp stuff beginning with P in our valiant effort to repel the hoards I've read about in discarded papers.

My question is - are YOU ready? You've got a bit of Chinese plastic inextricably mangled about your parts. When we boldly march forward you will be striking out like a spastic Tiller girl trying to ride a BMX as the plastic digs deeper.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:39, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

"hordes"
And the object with which I am currently in an exotic entanglement is made entirely from brass and walnut.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:41, Reply)

David Dickinson?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:46, Reply)

Oh god.
Now I've got an image of his nut-brown sphincter gnawing on my cock like a gulping frog. I don't think I'll ever be flaccid again.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:49, Reply)

He's austentatiously adjusting his glasses to get a better look at the penetration.
Crikey.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:52, Reply)

Ostentationally
I hate being pulled up on grammar - got you.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:57, Reply)

In the manner of a Jane Austen character.
And "Ostentationally" isn't a word at all.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 20:00, Reply)

I'll give you that.
I'm not sure that my construction is correct either but the verb is ostentatious.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 20:03, Reply)

erm...
it's "ostentatiously", isn't it?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 20:01, Reply)

Yeah, ok, ok
It doesn't begin with "Au" though.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 20:05, Reply)

You are a Bonobo monkey AICMFP

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:53, Reply)

I don't know which part of this is more offensive
the fact that you think my balls are that small or the fact that you don't know that a Bonobo isn't a monkey.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:55, Reply)

DFKDFC
on both counts
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:58, Reply)

Can you date it? Roughly?
Could you try and pry it away from your knob enough to see if it's hallmarked?

I think this could make a lot of money at auction, if only it could be detached from the pervert.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:46, Reply)

1992.
That's not particularly rough. That's when I bought it. I'm pretty sure it was new at the time although it's not the sort of thing that shows its age. Until you start slamming it in the door of a ford transit minibus.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:50, Reply)

Not a good age
It's damaged and the attached pervert is badly tainted.

I'll give you scrap value for a transit with a dented door.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:54, Reply)

I don't think the driver will be too happy if I sell his cab.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:56, Reply)

Tell him it's TD - he'll know my money's good

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 20:00, Reply)

More like
"the attached taint is badly perverted"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 19:56, Reply)

It's got a bolt through it and a tattoo of a stylised owl.
I think that's pretty nicely perverted.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 20:02, Reply)

Oh, a Chippendale tawny cock ring?
They're rare you know, only 6 were made and Prince Philip has 3 of them.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 20:06, Reply)

A van with a tattoo of an owl on the door!
Whatever next?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 20 Jan 2013, 20:08, Reply)