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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, pompous, smug, pretentious wankstain Alain de Botton has composed a kind of Ten Commandments for atheists.
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/10-new-virtues-for-atheists-alain-de-botton-unveils-new-manifesto-8479256.html

What do you make of them? Got any better suggestions for a modern day/internet ten commandments?

I'll start:

1. NO WHISKY CHAT
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 13:58, 127 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
2. Stay away from my bins.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
ABOUT, you fool, ABOUT.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
*shrugs*

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
MASSIVE SHRUGS

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Stay away from my about?
I don't get it.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
What about ye, wee man?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
'STAY ABOUT FROM MY BINS'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
I don't like anything that is fundementally unchangable over time.
Which is why I sort of have a problem with a constitution. There should be a balance between consistancy over a long period to avoid the fact peoples attitudes jump around a lot, and making it possible to update things so they reflect the modern world.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
they should write it with a drywipe pen on laminated paper?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
I think there only needs to be one commandment:
Don't be a prick.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Or 'Don't be Naked Ape'

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Does this really need to be written down?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
It does for him.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
I am something of a heretic here.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
^ Commandment FAIL ^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
:'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
A vague collection of hippy buzzwords with "atheist" tacked on the start to get publicity
Why not just have:
1. Don't be an ignorant selfish greedy cunt to everybody.
2. See 1
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
7. ALWAYS CHOOSE INDIAN OVER CHINESE TAKEAWAY

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Why do you hate Chinese people so much?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
They make inferior takeaway food to the Indian sub-continent

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
There was a chink in his armour once.
Never got over it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)

r
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
officelol

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Nah, sometimes you want a chinese.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
Given the choice I will always choose Indian

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:06, Reply)
You're dead to me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
with Sportscow on this one

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:08, Reply)
*Indian high-fives*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:08, Reply)
But you are a vegetarian, therefore your opinions on food are invalid.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Also everyone hates you.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Clicking this a lot.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
vegetarian Indian food is superb.
Chinese not so much.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1852387
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
That's very true.
Almost all Indians are veggies but almost no Chinese are so that would make sense.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Plus they have smelly food.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
^ FACT

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
and they're all a different colour!
which ones are we talking about?
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)
If the Chinese run out of meat, they just eat each others children.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1852371
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)
Or Thai.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
He's not helped by the fact that they aren't comandments.
But just a list of 10 character traits.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Does your 'higher power' have any?
Apart from 'Thou shall not drink'
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
12 steps, 10 commandments.
So I guess it's the same idea.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
And that picture makes me want to punch his face.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
He's a complete prick.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I bet he's a regular on The Review Show, isn't he?

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
If I knew what that was I might be better qualified to comment.
I'm assuming it's a show where things are reviewed though, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:26, Reply)
I think that's the theory.
In practice it seems to be a bunch of semi famous intellectuals sitting around discussing how great they are.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
No wonder I have never seen it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
You get all the intellectual conversation you need right here, don't you?

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
I sure do.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
uh-huh.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Close, they show reviews.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
and review shows.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
I looks like he's in a child's bedroom, reclining on the bed with a coquettish smile

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
I do with people would stop trying to turn atheism into a belief system
it's quite annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:26, Reply)
I with that too, Wilfred.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
One of your main beliefs, as an atheist, is that you don't need a belief system?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
I believe this is the case, yes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
there are no beliefs with atheism, that's rather the point.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
I believe this.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
Go and tell A Vagabond this. I love seeing him work himself up into a righteous and wrong little lather trying to argue this point.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
If he's around I happily will
not going to seek him out on another board just for this.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:34, Reply)
this^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
I'll connect imaginatively
with the sufferings and unique experiences of another person. Him. With my fist.

INTERNET HARDMANNING YO
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
That's fine until he unleashes the moths.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)
They are my kryponite.
Butterflies can fuck off and all.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
2. No one whose name basically means "Alan of the bottom"
which frankly sounds like Robin Hood's token gay Merry Man, has any business being famous.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
Once you've gone "Merry", you never go back

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
*something about Guy of Jizzburn*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)
And Alan 'Ad Anal.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:34, Reply)
I loved him in MASH!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Suicide is painless
Jus' sayin'
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Unlike anal.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:36, Reply)
You'd know

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Indeed so.
Your wife made *quite* the racket I can tell you.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
She said she couldn't get "The Intruder" up your starfish far enough

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:47, Reply)
Licky boom-boom do-own

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:49, Reply)
Friar Tuck-your-cock-between-your-legs

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:34, Reply)
This should win the compo

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Needs MOAR Hulk Hogan

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
I certainly clicked it

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)
You certainly score for not going for the obvious Triar Fuck gag.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)
Robin of Coxlick

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
*something insulting to Richard Littlejohn*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
Just had to do some "work" for five minutes so am delighted to see where this has led in my absence :-)
Willy Scarlett Ringpiece
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Munch the miller's son

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
WINNAR

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Sir Guy of Faceburn

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
Fucking hell, I've just looked at the actual article.
4. Try not to look like you're a toupee and a croissant away from becoming a b3ta meme
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
The Sherriff Of Cottaging.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
this is good

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:49, Reply)
What a pretentious twat, I hope he gets aids
How about .

1. Don't be a cunt

Thats all
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)
Bit harsh.
I mean, sure, it's not the best thread we've ever had, but give him a break - he's had a lot of problems with his ex, yeah?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
Fuck him
He forgot the E in Scotch WhiskEy
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
What a prick.
I hope he dies soon.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)
It's called Scottish Whiskey - get it right

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:49, Reply)
No, thats the eggs

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Would someone like to complete my expenses claim for me?
Tedious thing is tedious.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Sure
1. Beer fags and hookers - £235
2. Misc - £13.45
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
I'll do that for you if you will take over this phone call
supporting a branch in which some computers have lost network connectivity and others haven't.

Fair? You have to support them, not just hang up like a douchebag.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
Dead switch needs a reboot?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)
Yeah.
But telling Battered the answer won't help him learn, Lokers.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:47, Reply)
Would need to be at the bottom of the rack anyway.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Bet you can't get a receipt from the Polish fuzz you bribed
to overlook your reckless attempts to drunkenly ruin an S Class. And some humans.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)
* creates a receipt for a facilitating payment *

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:49, Reply)
NEW THREAD

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:55, Reply)

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