Go round his place and say 'Happy birthday Dad'
That'll be enough. Parents appreciate that sort of thing more than pointless gifts.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:10, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

He lives in the states if I stalked... ummm... remember correctly.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Oh
Well he can phone him then. He'll just be happy that his son remembered.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Good old reverse charge calls.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Has he got a computer machine?
You could Skype him on his Yahoo.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:26, Reply)

He's a techno-oldie
Hi son how are you?

*SENT FROM MY IPAD*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Cool
I think it's great when older people give it a go. None of it's difficult, let's face it. Some of them just fear new things I suppose. My Nan's had a mobile for ages now, and she's nearly 80.
Hope this didn't sound too patronising. I know there are some VERY old B3tans out there.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:32, Reply)

B3th teaches them how to find porn on the internet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:33, Reply)

I didn't even know what porn was until I came here
Then I came there.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Not at all, thank you

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:35, Reply)

My brother has found some antique lithograph of our old family seat
and various other thoughtful and nice things. I feel like such a cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:16, Reply)

You'll feel like less of a cunt if you just add your name to your brothers present.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:18, Reply)

It might have to be this way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Hello Al

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Fucking show off prick
ask if you can go twos with him, then never pay him back, win win
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Hello Chompy

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:19, Reply)

You could make him a card with dried pasta on it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:19, Reply)

Fucking Tony Hart never sent it back.
Gone forever, one of the world's great art treasures. I reckon that wanker Mr Bennett nicked it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:20, Reply)

morpher-fucker

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Yeah, what was Mr Bennet's problem?
My missus reckons they were a gay couple. Tony and Mr B, that is.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:24, Reply)

'working late again, Mr Hart?'
It was like the preamble to some hideous gay porn. Morph was the fluffer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Haha, nice
I don't want to know what Chas' job was.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:28, Reply)

You should get your dad Mr Bennet's book:
www.actingontv.com/homepage.asp
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Great idea!!! Thanks Tango!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:33, Reply)

No probs m8!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:38, Reply)

And then what will he eat?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:20, Reply)

As long as Monty uses non-toxic adhesive
He can eat the card. I recommend making a little paper pouch full of mixed herbs to go with it.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:24, Reply)