Apparently today is the first day of spring
Anyone seen any sign of it yet? Is the outbreak of flouncing on QOTW a rush of spring hormones, or some such guff?

alt: Beer has not gone up in the budget - does this make it a success?

altalt:yeah, whatever
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 7:48, 74 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Alt: Use your loaf
what do you think?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 7:51, Reply)

Well the sun's out, but it's still bloody cold.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 7:53, Reply)

So no chance of getting the HAMmock out yet?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 7:55, Reply)

No, or my upperCRUST LOAFers

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 7:58, Reply)

apparently bread is the staff of life.
So that must mean your enormohead is the saviour of the third world.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 7:59, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:02, Reply)

I might need a couple of fishes as well though
So Nakers tells me, anyway
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:03, Reply)

I was interested
In the pension funds being allowed to invest directly in residential property conversions. I'll be reviewing industry sentiment on this later today.

Rock and roll, steez.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:11, Reply)

Fuckin prick, I've been sat in the other thread all by myself

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:21, Reply)

Yeah he Gazzed us all and said
"let's see how long that Bent Spastic takes to realise that there is a new thread"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:23, Reply)

What, yesterday's?
Are you saying you don't even know what day it is now?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:24, Reply)

Nakington-Smythe, you utter nob.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:26, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Alt: Bit of shuffling the furniture around and a couple of pleb pleasing freezes.
Apart from the change in employer's NI contributions, nothing of real significance.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:36, Reply)

Is that right?
Some of my bulbs have started coming up in the garden, but some of them have done fuck all. I blame Britain going decimal.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:46, Reply)

Actually that fits
scientists say global warning started in 1971
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Well, where does that leave me and my daffs?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:52, Reply)

I've definitely seen some crocuses coming through.
Don't know if this helps at all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:55, Reply)

Yeah, we've got a couple of nice purple ones that have sprung
Typically, they're in the place where my extension might be. Sad times.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:56, Reply)

it'll be Booby Tuesday before you know it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:56, Reply)

You'll have to buy metric ones

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I'll die before I buy 0.4 of a daffofil

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:56, Reply)

Some dealers still sell them in pounds "under the counter"
you just need to know the right people *taps nose*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:00, Reply)

*taps nose*
asylum seekers

That's all I'm prepared to say at this time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Bluddy forrins
I knew it.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:53, Reply)

I'm not racist, but
they have smelly food and wear weird clothes and stuff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:56, Reply)

Oh no hang on, sorry - I am a massive and unrepentant racist.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Haha

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:57, Reply)

It's a decline that can clearly be traced back to when we stopped using sticks with notches cut into them.
Morning TH.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Hey
I just found out that Kinder eggs are illegal in America!! Can you fucking believe it?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:53, Reply)

My mind is blown.
Might have to reconsider whether I want to visit this place or not now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:54, Reply)

I know, right?
Of all the shit they selll....but I guess it's in case some fat kid NOM's one whole.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:56, Reply)

In fairness, they are really shit.
Even my four year old turns her nose up at the shit toys therein.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:58, Reply)

They're not the best, admittedly
but how stupid do you have to be to choke on a kinder egg?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Nakers, can you answer this one?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:00, Reply)

He can't speak right now. ...

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:01, Reply)

*shakes fist*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:04, Reply)

the plastic bit is good for carrying drugs in.
HTH xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:05, Reply)

When I was a kid
I found that you could really spit them across the room at some velocity. The plastic bit, not drugs.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:15, Reply)

I have left the warm bosom of our capital city for the frozen wastes of Hertfordshire, it's so much colder up here
how do you northerns survive it?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Right, I'm going to a meeting now.
Can you guys sort it out and start posting some funny shit?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:20, Reply)

OK sure

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:21, Reply)

BUM
Hahaha....y'know....like a bum?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:22, Reply)

You scamp!
Bum, you say? As in 'farts come out of it'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:27, Reply)

That's exactly it!
And poo poo!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:27, Reply)

that's where chocolate is made!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Here is one of Dozer turning up at Battereds shed uninvited

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Excellent

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:23, Reply)

According to that BBC calculator thing up there ^^^
I'll be £129 better off, having gone past the booze and tabs page and doing the whole thing.

If that doesn't indicate that Osborne's an enormous twat I don't know what does.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:21, Reply)

you don't want to be better off?
£341 better off for me! I knew Georgey boy had my back
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:23, Reply)

£1558.48 a year worse off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:27, Reply)

POTD
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHahahahahahahahhahahaha......hahahahhahahHAHHAAHAHHAHAAH
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:27, Reply)

I've just noticed your sig
Excellent work
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:36, Reply)

i don't get it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:36, Reply)

It's from a fillum

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:37, Reply)

One of the funniest films ever.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Agreed
and that's NOT subject to negotiation. Understood?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:41, Reply)

You need to drink a lot more beer

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:36, Reply)

I didn't seem to be that much better off
So I said that I drink 100 pints a week, and now I'm a hundred quid better off than I was!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:29, Reply)

alcoholism is the answer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I tried explaining it to my missus, but she doesn't think I'm right
bless her
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Those cunts at that Women's Refuge have been giving her ideas.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Those Women's Refuge pricks
Nothing that good fuck wouldn't fix
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Beer makes everything better.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:32, Reply)