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i was in a swanky interior design shop with my nieces (5 and 3). this was bad enough, as i immediately thought they were going to break everything. 3 year old looks like an angel: white blonde curls, big blue eyes, cherubic pink cheeks. she asks to be picked up so she can stroke a dog cushion. i oblige.

she lets out a fart that a 45 year old, 20 stone builder couldn't muster after 10 pints of guinness and a kebab (i later found out she had stolen and eaten an entire packet of liquorice allsorts from my dad).

shop owner comes over to see if she can help. walks into the wall of stench. chews on it. gags politely. looks at me. clearly does not suspect the angel for a second. mutters something about drains.

i fucking hate kids.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:51, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

hahaha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:56, Reply)

My son has taken to doing this.
really should not be possible from on so innocent looking.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:59, Reply)

If I looked at the two of you, I wouldn't suspect the child, either.
Or any child. Or the builder, for that matter.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:05, Reply)

yeah well
if i looked at you, i'd vomit. so there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)