Proud Moments
Confess your proudest moments to the class

Alt:
Shameful moments
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:43, 103 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

All the times I've come first
In answer to both parts of the question.
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:45, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:47, Reply)

haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)

fire and stone £20 for 2 pizzas and a bottle of wine
might be time for another secret pizzabash
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I think you are DEAD RIGHT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:01, Reply)

YEAH CHEESE
YEAH ALCOHOL
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)

EXACTLY
are you up for it, frogster?

no cardigrans
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Can you pick a Fire and Stone that's not in the back of some carpark
on a side road in an industrial estate, this time?

That'd be nice.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

that was spitalfields market
you ignorant redneck hick
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Spitalfields market is good for me
And Monty I'm guessing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

and monty's bloke

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

That wasn't a market, that was a shopping centre
stuck on a back road behind a bank.

Well shit.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)

yeah
compared to the paradise of slough and uxbridge, it's a real hole
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Pfft, those two don't even have a Fire and Stone.
Not like that shed behind the Starbuck's you made me try to find.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)

and yet everyone else got there
strange...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)

They had the option of starting two hours earlier than me.
By the time I got there all the fucking sherpas had been booked already.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:27, Reply)

One trip to Camden Market and now he's Mr London Market Reviewer

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:36, Reply)

"Smaller than I thought, more shops than stalls, full of cunts"
Kroney, The Daily Telegraph.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:39, Reply)

so are we allowed to post pictures here now?
that's all I really care about, I take no interest in the self-centred bleating of you weaklings
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:01, Reply)

yes
take one of you fisting yourself all the way up to the elbow, no grease
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I can't reach that far
stop mocking my morbid obesity you heartless old witch
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:04, Reply)

yeah like you don't have 3 AMPLE SPONGES stuck up there already

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

alt
i was in a swanky interior design shop with my nieces (5 and 3). this was bad enough, as i immediately thought they were going to break everything. 3 year old looks like an angel: white blonde curls, big blue eyes, cherubic pink cheeks. she asks to be picked up so she can stroke a dog cushion. i oblige.

she lets out a fart that a 45 year old, 20 stone builder couldn't muster after 10 pints of guinness and a kebab (i later found out she had stolen and eaten an entire packet of liquorice allsorts from my dad).

shop owner comes over to see if she can help. walks into the wall of stench. chews on it. gags politely. looks at me. clearly does not suspect the angel for a second. mutters something about drains.

i fucking hate kids.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:51, Reply)

hahaha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:56, Reply)

My son has taken to doing this.
really should not be possible from on so innocent looking.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:59, Reply)

If I looked at the two of you, I wouldn't suspect the child, either.
Or any child. Or the builder, for that matter.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:05, Reply)

yeah well
if i looked at you, i'd vomit. so there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

I spunked up inside a lady and created life.
TWICE! I'm practically a God
( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Fucking hell no need to brag
2 shags eh... just think about that
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)

yeah
you did allllll the hard work

nice job spunky
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)

more than you'll ever do lolololololshrivelledovaries

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:06, Reply)

not quite
give it about 5 more years
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

lastturkeyintheshoplols

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:11, Reply)

imma call you syncubus

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

try anything you want, I ain't doing no cybersex with you

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:15, Reply)

what is cybersex?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:17, Reply)

hang on, I'll plug my webcam in and show you

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)

don't forget your pink sock
badger has one he can lend you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:21, Reply)

Eh? How's that work then?

( Theoban What of it, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)

He's making it up innit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

no way you spunk in a girl and then a baby comes out
no way man
that's like sneezing in a bowl and expecting it to form pasta
( Theoban What of it, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:02, Reply)

He's taking us for fools here

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Well someone spunked inside her anyway

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Or in a bowl mixed in the with all the neighbours
then Turkey basted to perfection
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I just put my keys in the bowl

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

And wondered why they got all sticky?

( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:06, Reply)

I won 'best in show' at the 1995 Crufts
Alt: I have no shame apart from being ashamed of everything I have ever done and ever will do
( Theoban What of it, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:53, Reply)

You should be ashamed of this post.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I am, deeply
I cut a line into my leg for every post I make which I hate
Three more cuts and my left leg will fall off
( Theoban What of it, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I played The Red Flag instead of the intro to Johnny B. Goode when Leon Brittan was in the audience
alt: oh god that pikey girl oh god I could have caught nits and she stank of bubblegum
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

TAKE THAT, CAPITALISM!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:01, Reply)

hey, but guess who won the next election?
only Tony Blair

I think that proves my point
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:02, Reply)

I bet he still sent a bouquet after the show
then forced his way into your dressing room and made you lick his sweaty forehead.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I don't get this.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:49, Reply)

When my daughter shouted 'schnell! schnell!' across a crowded Liverpool St Station
Alt: the time I forgot to mention the Treworgey Tree Fayre of July 1989
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

hahaha!
RAUS!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:01, Reply)

I had a moment of immense pride whilst walking down the road when my daughter asked why the Catholics were knocking on peoples doors
I explained what they were doing and quite loudly she exclaimed with shock "Why would they do that Daddy? There is no God"
( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:04, Reply)

Yes but the poor sod thinks The Force is real so it's not all good news eh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Don't tell anyone
but she doesn't like Star Wars
( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

GET IN
have you told her about dying alone and unmourned yet?
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

The little shit is expecting to appear at the side of Ben Ke-fuckin'-nobi and Yoda

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

She doesn't have any brothers

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)

She knows that people die
but she thinks they just fall asleep and don't wake up. She's watched enough Disney films to understand the concept of death.
( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Introduce her to the concept by strangling a prostitute for her on her 8th birthday
Your daughter's 8th birthday, not the prostitute's
( Theoban What of it, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:21, Reply)

I'm glad you clarified
I would have done it the other way.
( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)

"FOR YOU BOYCEY, ZE VAR IS OVER!"

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:06, Reply)

I built an internal wall once, electrics and all
alt - the time one of my internal walls collapsed on the neighbours daughter crushing and electrocuting her.
( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:02, Reply)

haha, you should post some pics of this

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:02, Reply)

I don't really have any proud moments, I'm riddled with self-loathing.
Alt: Oh god, I fucked a chav once.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Did your winky come out all burberry?

( Theoban What of it, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

No, I got very lucky.
No burberry or weeping sores.

Got a kid, though.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)

twice?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)

OH fuck!
I did that too, I couldn't get her out of the door fast enough the next morning. She asked if I wanted her number and I said "no"
( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)

It was at a party.
ALL my friends knew. One of them had to move to a different continent before he let me forget it.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

how old were you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:21, Reply)

Oh, 20-something...

( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)

too vague
i was going for a virginity crack
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)

well this didn't come out quite how i intended

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)

:/

( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Thankfully mine was a girl in a grotty nightclub in Morden
I just never went back there
( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)

You've just described all the nightclubs in Morden.
And Morden itself.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:29, Reply)

and ugly
don't forget the ugly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)

and gout

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

i think he got gout confused with something else
hypochondria, that's it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:17, Reply)

lol

( Kroney, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Wanking into Desmond Lynam's moustache
alt - Him asking if I was finished.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Proudest: Getting a 2:1, winning a prize for my dissertation and being nominated Young Scottish Software Engineer
Shameful: Being shown up at my birthday party by my then-GF and not finishing with her on the spot. Finished with her some months later, so I did eventually locate my testicles.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

You really want to give me an excuse to talk about TWL?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

what has Transepidermal water loss got to do with anything?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:29, Reply)

19 minutes that took you
It is a difficult word to spell mind
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:32, Reply)

TeamWarfare League?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:34, Reply)

Don't know what that is, carry on

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:41, Reply)

The Wesident Loon?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Ouch

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Ah ha! I thought of one
Despite my ugliness I convinced a very attractive woman to marry me.
( Peej, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Damn
I was about to use that. Except for the marriage bit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)

And the woman bit

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)

Just called your missus a racist as it happens

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:29, Reply)

This is true

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:34, Reply)

You are Bob Carr AICMFP

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:40, Reply)

worked out where you're going in Tower Hamlets/Shoreditch yet Bill Clay?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Not really, but it's not till October so I've got plenty of planning time.
The main plan this time is to not get too pissed before the gig, fall asleep on a bus and miss it entirely.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:50, Reply)

YM.
To both.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:47, Reply)