On the upside
Undersecretary for Homeland Security Kurt Schwartz asks people in Watertown and surrounding suburbs not go to work today.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:53, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Several hundred miles away people are wondering if they can risk it.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:57, Reply)

That man's name sounds like it was assigned to him
by a Generic Tough-Sounding American Names Generator. Or Hollywood in the 80s.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

"Meet the newest member of our security team, Blast ThickNeck"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:06, Reply)

lols all round

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Apparently they've shut down the public transport network.
A joke's a joke, lads. Be sensible, there's only one of them left and he's not actually Val Kilmer with a pony tail. He's just some guy and the entire police force will have had a go at shooting him by now.
( Kroney, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:14, Reply)

They only think it's one bloke.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Fuck, Harvard has decided to close for the day as well

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)