So, this weekend I managed to shave the left hand side of my face and not cut myself at all
but then I accidentally jabbed the blade into my right cheek while trying to trim my sideburns.

But other than that I'm getting really good at this whole straight razor thing.

EDIT - also I went out for roast dinner in Islington on Sunday. I was well Nom. I had pork.

EDIT 2 - I see on the news that it will now cost 5 billion pounds to let gay people get married. Should there be a price on love?

Edit 3 - I read it wrong, it turns out the gays aren't the problem, it's the straight people that want a civil partnership rather than a marriage that will cost 4 billion. Fucking straight people. What a bunch of cunts eh?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:42, 44 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I managed to shave without any injuries using a normal razor
I had takeaway Sunday dinner yesterday. It was beef
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:46, Reply)

A takeaway roast sounds incredibly norhten.
why not just make your own? It's cheaper and better?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:47, Reply)

I was out taking the kids to their swimming lessons so didn't have time
Also, it was £6 per head and incredibly tasty. It also allowed for me to have beef, the Mrs to have ham and the kids to have turkey
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Your problem is you let your wife and kids have too much choice.
If you want beef, they have beef and they fucking lump it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)

Also why doesn't he have a pool at home? What a povvo life failure

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

You are clearly missing the point here
I now have spare beef for lunch today, ham for tomorrow and turkey for Wednesday
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Whenever I make a roast, I end up with leftover meat for lunches too.
You're not selling this to me. You spent £24 on your roast, I bet I could make a better roast for less than that.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:01, Reply)

£18 actually
Kids share one. I'm sure I could make a better one too but not with no time in the house
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:02, Reply)

You should get a bigger house.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:04, Reply)

and this will help how?
Buy my own swimming pool?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:05, Reply)

something something dropping kids off at the pool something

( Kroney, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)

shit response

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)

have you used to to sculpt your body hair into a scene from a biblical epic yet?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Why will it cost 5 billion pounds?
Sorry, I haven't been keeping up on the latest news regarding these noofters trolling the Church.
( Kroney, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Anti AIDs drugs innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Put a holding deposit down on a place, Nakers.
No garden or balcony though, so no barbecue.
( Kroney, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)

some friend you're turning out to be
Garden flats are often basements anyway so a bit dingy, plus there are the security issues.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)

Luckily I'm going to be on the sixth floor.
You'd be well jelly, parquet floors throughout.
( Kroney, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Thanks Luca

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)

that's gonna be fun to move into
have you got a lift?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Luckily I don't have much in the way of stuff
as I binned almost everything when leaving Slough. It seemed like a sensible precaution, I didn't want any Slough getting out into the wider world.

Yeah, an eighty year old finger-trap lift.
( Kroney, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)

do you not have a high end gaming chair
with built in speakers, realistic vibration mode, 40Oz chilled cup holder and wipe clean leatherette?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:00, Reply)

gaming/wanking

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:01, Reply)

No, I don't have a toilet-sized dual aspect window, either.
Do have several fireplaces and other Thirties period features, however.

I think you're getting me mixed up with my mother.
( Kroney, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:02, Reply)

They say it's for a consultation about how hetro civil partners effect shit.
And pensions, international recognition etc etc.

The figure is basically made up on the spot, they just don't want to do it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:18, Reply)

So it's for exactly the same consultation that homosexuals presumably sit down for?

( Kroney, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Where did you go for the roast?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)

YMs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)

HE SAID ISLINGTON YOU PRICK

( Kroney, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)

It just gets funnier every time somebody does this.

( Kroney, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)

It sure does.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)

The Snooty Fox, next to Cannonbury station.
Good food. Really good beer.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

I've never eaten in there but have heard good things
Islington is a good place for your upmarket pub experience
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)

We had a christmas dinner there with friends a year before last and it was excellent.
I've also eaten in the Alma, just round the corner from there, where the food was good, but the service was really slow. But that was two years ago so may have changed.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Nice cheese

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)

This straight razor thing sounds well bent.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I think it's the bend that's giveing my problems.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Stop shaving underwater then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

0/10

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:55, Reply)

harsh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:58, Reply)

but fair

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:01, Reply)

and smooth

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:28, Reply)

Looks as though it is going to be another thrilling day on here today.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:16, Reply)

so how does everybody trim their toenails?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:30, Reply)

With a spoon!!!!11!!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:30, Reply)