I've just dreamed of my perfect pub, it was amazing, so cool. Or I donno if perfect pub, but a really really cool pub...... I WANT TO MAKE IT REAL.
The place is decked out in faux thearatical victorian fassion, with loads of little nooks'n'cranies. And there are hidden buttons everywhere that do things, like...

- You pull a tiny little pin out of a wall, and a trap-door behind you open ups and your chair moves backwards and you're in a hexagonal chamber (in your chair), there is a black'n'white TV on the top that shows something like a 15 seconds of [someone winnning a gameshow, an old classic movie, yourself in the chamber, someone in another chamber etc]the hexigan-room then turns around 180 degrees, and then the chair lifts up and it slides you outside the pub thinking 'wtf'.

- Sometimes a hidden button on a table will make a little notepad and pencil fall from behind a pannel, and the notepad have an emotion and a emoticon face on it. The idea being that you think up a character for a book/film and its a sovineeer.

- Sometimes a button will make a one-way-mirror defrost so you can see the kitchens, except projected onto it is a murder scene.

- There were loads and loads of hidden buttons, pins-to-pull, weight-thinggys. I can't remember them all.

Think of it as a fun-house, with a faux-victorian theme, designed to get the imagination going with a SAW/Adam's Family like element to it. Only with booze. SOMEONE MAKE THIS PUB.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 May 2013, 7:09, 9 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Shut up Gonzo.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 27 May 2013, 7:14, Reply)

another opiate dream

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 May 2013, 8:14, Reply)

I think Lusty has been asking for advise
m.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/may/27/my-boyfriend-talks-constantly-during-sex
(PsychoChomp, Mon 27 May 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Sounds more like Acid Kewpie's missus.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 27 May 2013, 14:14, Reply)

What cider will you be selling in your pub?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)

The johnny machine in the toilets is broken.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 27 May 2013, 15:07, Reply)

candles

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 May 2013, 15:16, Reply)

what woke you up, someone from porlock?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 May 2013, 16:00, Reply)