Tell us about your fruit woes.
Alt: HATRED. I really fucking hate that bent cunt Peter Tatchell. Who do you hate?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:46, 40 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I have forgotten all my Pear facts :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:46, Reply)

The word 'aperitif' comes from the old Norman tradition of drinking Cinzano out of hollowed-out pears.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Failed balloonist Per Linstrand got his name from his university days, when, for a bet, he ate nothing but pears for an entire year

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:52, Reply)

As did Per from Roxette (a Norwegian pear variety, fact fans)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Experimental rock band Pere Ubu took their name from their days of drinking fermented pear juice at the University of Bristol Student's Union bar

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)

The phrase 'I beg your pardon' is a corruption of the Middle English 'I begge your peardon'
which comes from the days when all High Court judges were actually pears. To beg someone's peardon meant to try to get off a criminal charge by appealing to the judge.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Perdition:
noun
a state of eternal punishment and damnation into which a sinful and unrepentant person may only eat disappointing pears which never really ripen properly
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Pears are shit wannabe apples

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:18, Reply)

Peresy!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:23, Reply)

i have two bananas with me today, but they are pretty small tbh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Fuit woes I have a fucking tonne of black cherries
from my tree, de-stoning the fuckers have left my hands looking slightly purple, how's that for FRUIT WOES
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Danny Dyer
I don't think I need to explain why
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:51, Reply)

I've gone right off 70/80's television presenters and comedians.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Supermarkets marketing small fruit as "fun size", ffs.
What's fun about it, its an apple.
Why do you hate Tatchell? Did he touch your winkle when you were young?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Nah I just hate queers innit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:59, Reply)

He should have a fight with Ken Livingstone.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Everyone should have a fight with Ken Livingstone

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)

*endorses this remark*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:10, Reply)

alt:
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2023530
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I hate the stupid bitch I overheard yesterday asking one of those 'orrible forrins 'DO YOU SPEAK ENGERLISH? ENGERLISH?'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Bloody Morrissey and The Smiths.
Moaning twats listened to by moaning twats.

Oh! I think I shall write a witty and sharply incisive poem about it all! Take THAT, bullies!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:02, Reply)

He's another fucking bender and all

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Thinking about him can enrage me (and not in a sexy way).
I'm not a royalist by any stretch of the imagination, but all that "I hope Kate and Wills die" grandstanding bollocks I mean REALLY? Are you still 14?

God he really does upset me, actually. I might write a poem about it.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:07, Reply)

He's a fucking wanker and no mistake

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:13, Reply)

My daughter's mother. Who is acting pathetically trying to provoke me in to losing my temper.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Smash her face in.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:07, Reply)

face backdoors
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:08, Reply)

it's all about smashing the back doors in, these days.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Anything to avoid royal baby chat

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Alright Dr.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Sup Doc?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:09, Reply)

Meh

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Are you being short with her?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:09, Reply)

My strawberries had gone furry :o(
I also only have 2 bananas :o(
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:09, Reply)

That's quite a good euphemism.
"What do you think of that Judy off Richard and Judy?"

"My strawberries have gone furry."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:10, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Much as I hate minorities who won't shut up
I actually like a lot of what Tatchell comes out with, for instance he said the gay marriage bill was rubbish as it discriminated against straight people.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:29, Reply)