I didn't know there was one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 13:58, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Well, from what I understand, what happens is that these "cricket teams"
rove around various countries until they settle somewhere and inflict cricket on a large proportion of people that aren't interested. Then they have a fight over a burned stump or something and then TMB and Al call you a racist.
( Kroney, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:02, Reply)

Right you are.
It all sounds rather tiring.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I don't know what all these sports teams have against balls, Monty, I really don't.
They seem to spend all their time beating nine bells out of them. Maybe they're all nullos and it's some sort of psychological catalyst for their feelings of emasculation.
( Kroney, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Pfft...."teams"
They're called cricket groups, Kroney. Sorry, but you made a bit of a tit of yourself there.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:08, Reply)

I've got a really itchy but on my shoulder and it's too awkward a position to get a good scratch at.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Tell sportscow to sit somewhere else then

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Meh

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:14, Reply)

*does wobbly hand motion*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:20, Reply)

Get someone to scratch it for you
You don't buy a dog and bark yourself
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:13, Reply)

I'm alone apart from a couple of customers

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:23, Reply)

So?
Say to one of them "Do you want anymore booze today? Then scratch my fucking shoulder."
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:24, Reply)

They're weird old men,
I don't really want them to touch me. But it's alright, I've found a solution.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Showering once in a while?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:34, Reply)

You're such a horrid bully sometimes you know that?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:43, Reply)

But on your shoulder?
You could try cosmetic surgery.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:17, Reply)

Have you tried rubbing your back up and down a tree like Baloo?

( Kroney, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:18, Reply)

There are no trees in the pub.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Huh...call that a pub?
More like a...no-tree place for QUEERS or something! Hahah queers.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:25, Reply)

There used to be a pub in Oxford with a tree in the middle of the bar.
It might still be there but it's in a really studenty bit that I try to avoid.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Sounds like someone has pub-tree envy
pssst....I'm talking about you
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Look, Windy, I like you but I can't do all of your thinking for you.
You can lead a horse to water...
( Kroney, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:25, Reply)

but you can't make it perform cpr

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)

I found a rough knot of door frame about the right height.
It's all sorted.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)

did one of your legs start going like you were chasing a rabbit?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:38, Reply)

A little.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Chopsticks are great for scratching, especially the wooden ones you get for free in a take away.
Because you're not eating with them, and are against waste, you can put them back afterwards.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Aug 2013, 14:29, Reply)