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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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i'm not good at parties
I just made a cake and cooked a massive bag of sausage rolls. Oh, and laid on all the colouring books and pens you could need. We also played with spirograph. You may scoff, but if you do, scoff sausage rolls, please
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:16, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Was there booze?
If so, I'd be happy as a clam
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:20, Reply)
Are clams happy?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:22, Reply)
Always!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:24, Reply)
Phew, thank fuck for that.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:24, Reply)
They're ecstatic up until they reach the cooking pot.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:24, Reply)
Then they get all hot and bothered and sweary

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:27, Reply)
My missus got all sweary on the train the other day.
Unfortunately she was asleep at the time and the couple she was sat next to informed her she'd been sleep touretting.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:29, Reply)
Hahaha that's tourettes!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:29, Reply)
It amused me when she texted to tell me this.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:36, Reply)
She's a star

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:37, Reply)
She's probably starfished in a bed of her own right now.
She gets to go to Greece for a wedding, and I get to stay at home. She did ring me before to tell me a joke though.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:39, Reply)
Worth repeating?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:39, Reply)
Married couple, tired of sex being the same every night.
Husband says "We can try the carpenter position if you like".

Next night the wife dolls herself up, puts on stockings and suspenders and waits on the bed for her hubby. He comes into the bedroom all excited and they get down to it pretty damn sharpish.

At the end the wife says "But that was the same as we always do it, what happened to the carpenter position?"

The husband replies "Did you not see the pencil stuck behind my ear, woman?"
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:44, Reply)
I wouldn't sa I LoL'd... But I smiled!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:51, Reply)
Well it is nearly 2 o' clock.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:52, Reply)
True

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:54, Reply)
OI!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:32, Reply)
Wouldn't you, in boiling water?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:36, Reply)
Begrudging yes.
0-1
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:46, Reply)

You learn quickly
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:50, Reply)
I'm keeping schtum.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 2:04, Reply)
of course

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:25, Reply)
Have you spirographed an owl yet? I sincerely hope so.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:22, Reply)
i mostly go for more abstact things
a friend had a fancy spirograph, too, it had magnets and everything
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:26, Reply)
Fancy that! What do the magnets do?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:32, Reply)
hold it still
makes it marginally less frustrating
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:32, Reply)
But....drawing pins?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:33, Reply)
they leave holes
I just press down with my hands, I'm oldschool (and bought the 90s version)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:35, Reply)
Stick a guinea pig on it

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:37, Reply)

guinea pig hamster on in
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:40, Reply)
Not dozer!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:41, Reply)
a hamster powered spirograph...interesting
/patents
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:41, Reply)
Hamster wheel + gearing = Profit.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:47, Reply)

Profit

Dozer
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 2:05, Reply)

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