stinking stinking stinking
tube.

i know it's hot. i know the district line is SHIT and slow and overcrowded and doesn't work and bakes everyone to a slow stifling death whilst the gimps who run TFL sit in their air conditioned cars.

but come on, how hard can it be to WASH YOUR FUCKING SELF ? why oh why is the tube full of sweaty men who smell like death? wash your clothes. wash yourself. there is no excuse in the year of our lord 2008 for stinking like a victorian tramp who's never had a bath in his life.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 10:28, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And, now that you're out of the District line...
...BREATHE ...

www.backingblair.co.uk/london_underground/
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 10:30, Reply)

i know what you mean...
you'd think that taking a taxi to work this morning would have helped me to avoid a similar experience....unfortunately the taxi driver couldn't hear where i wanted to go as his ears were so filthy, i'm glad i sat in the back as he spat everywhere when he spoke and the car generally smelt like things had died in there. With cheese on top.

Just so you know you're not alone!
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 10:32, Reply)

I enjoyed my trip
There was an unusually high percentage of gorgeous woman on the tube today. I'm also at a critical part of my book so the time passed very quickly.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 10:36, Reply)

I quite enjoyed the district line today.
Hardly anyone had personal hygeine issues.

But then again, I head out west, whilst most people use it to go east into the City.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 10:48, Reply)

Ah, the tube...
There are days, say when the weather's a bit cold so my journey is slightly less than pleasant, where I miss my morning commute on the tube. Really, despite the fact that it's slow, unreliable, unfriendly, and that I used to travel on the Picadilly line all the way to Hounslow, I still occasionally miss it.

However, when I do have to use it I remember all the things I hate about it and thank my lucky stars I rarely find myself locked in that tiny underground hell with (as always used to happen to me on the hottest of days) my face pressed up against the biggest, sweatiest man-back. Always. And I'd be unable to move due to the other big, sweaty fiends surrounding me.

*shudders*
( Moey, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 10:52, Reply)

there is no excuse
for stinking!

people who don't live in london come here occasionally and see a network of transport and think bitterly, what are they whinging about, i only get one bus an hour.

but if you live here and pay through the nose to use it, and it's every minute of every journey that goes wrong, it is enough to make you want to quit!

and it attracts nutters, although not even i can blame TFL for that. the other night, on an empty bus, this enormous 300lb black dude came and squeezed himself right onto the seat next to me. great. i was the only person on the top deck. why had he sat right next to me? then he fumbled around in his pocket. his hand was in there so long and was moving so frenetically that i was getting really disturbed, when he pulled out....

a mars bar.

then he sat and talked to it for about 15 minutes, holding it squeezed in his great paw of a fist.

then he unclenched his fist. and started swearing at it. for melting on him.

at this point i scrambled inelegantly over him/the back of the seat and got off 3 stops too early.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 10:56, Reply)

^this
is a lesson I never learn...

If you spy an empty carriage on a train, or find the top deck of the bus to be empty; don't think, 'ooh, lucky me, I get to have a whole carriage/top deck of bus to myself'. No no no no noooo.

What will always happen is that the craziest dude you can imagine will get on at the next stop, sit next to you and leave you praying to any God who may care to listen that it's not your day to die, until you find yourself scrambling off several stops too early.

Fact.
( Moey, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 11:03, Reply)

All this
is why I think I'd rather shovel shit for a living than live in London.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 11:05, Reply)

*smugs*
I have a lovely drive through countryside to work every day and the only nutters I encounter are the sheep that sometimes wander along the middle of the road.

However, as I will be in London for the bash soon I am staying well away from the underground. I'm slightly claustraphobic so...

*fears*
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 11:07, Reply)

^
what BGB said

apart from the crazy woodland animals with death wishes.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 11:31, Reply)

I too share BGB's pleasure
of driving through pictures of picturesque landscapes and the occasional animal who wishes to end it.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Never really had a problem on the tube before
But I had possibly THE stinkiest* woman sit next to me on the Paris Metro a few years back. Honestly, she was utterly minging, I was trying desperately not to gag... I think I swallowed some of it.

*Bloik*

*She was French, I suppose, but that's hardly an excuse
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Jul 2008, 12:07, Reply)

Oh, how I'm dreading my commute now,
The worst one ever for me was the Elephant Man (given that nickname by my roommate) in Pervland. Not only did he smell seriously fusty, like he lived on mothballs and sweat, but he also had one of those hemangioma birthmarks (do NOT Google Image search it if you want to keep your lunch down) ALL OVER HIS FACE. I know it was probably cruel, but I could never bear to be within several yards of him.
( Maladicta, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 13:58, Reply)

I had sweaty back crack next to me
on the northern line this evening as the fucking thing is playing up again. So telling everyone to squeeze into the first train isn't that much of a nice thing to do.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 21:16, Reply)