email
just been sent this. made me smile but also gibber gently to myself, thought i'd share it:

London Times obituary
***************************


'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentional but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant, and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home, and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, his son, Reason. He is survived by his four stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:01, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I like this a lot.
If it were on QOTW, I would be clicking madly.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:13, Reply)

A little HYS...

but depressingly has some truth to it.

What to do while all political parties with any semblence of influence occupy a tedious centre ground that neither inspires nor offends.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:17, Reply)

...
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant, and wanted to have an abortion.

TRANSLATION: I can't tell the difference between administering a medical treatment and maintaining confidentiality.

and criminals received better treatment than their victims
TRANSLATION: The only way to get people to behave decently is to abandon decency.

and the burglar could sue you for assault
TRANSLATION: I demand the right to shoot burglars in the back. My alabaster Franklin Mint "DIANA: PRINCESS OF HEARTS" model is worth far more than the life of a person I've never met. Why, they're probably all wogs as well...


But, yeah - the coffee thing is, to me, incomprehensible.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:28, Reply)

yeah
that's done the rounds here, too. I kind of agree but at the same time every generation complains about how things are now and looks back to some rose-tinted golden age that never really happened.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:29, Reply)

Since you mention it Al
McDonalds Mcoffee McLawsuit McFacts
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:54, Reply)

hmm
enzyme, as ever, has an eloquent point. but whomever you blame, whichever way you look at it, the world today is not as safe/pleasant a place as it used to be.

whilst i don't actually agree that everyone should be a tony martin vigilante and kill all intruders to death, i certainly don't agree that some scumsucker who had broken into his house purely to steal his property should then be given funding from the tax payer to sue for impeding his inability to work. the thief had never worked a day in his life.

the more i reason it out, the more i draw the slow but inexorable conclusion that lawyers are to blame......................
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:59, Reply)

@fireflier
good link, thanks!

I heard a story on the radio a few years ago about an american woman who filed a suit against Nike because she tripped over her shoelaces. not sure how far that one got....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:14, Reply)

"whichever way you look at it, the world today is not as safe/pleasant a place as it used to be"
I would disagree. You have to look at all facets of life. Would you really want to live in mediaeval times, where death due to disease or fighting was an everyday risk? Or the Victorian era, with its smoke-laden atmosphere, no modern conveniences and still the high risk of death from diseases such as TB or polio?

No, thanks. I'll take the modern day, politically correct bollocks and all.

We could use fewer ambulance chasing lawyers though. Nothing personal, rswipe - you're a nice lawyer, and in a different field :)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:20, Reply)

Burglars
I invite you into my home = You decide when and how you leave.
I don't invite you into my home = I decide when and how you leave.

I am on record as to my tolerance of other lifestyle choices, races and religions.

I am also on record as to my intolerance of those that would harm me and mine or steal what is mine.

My friends really do call me Captain Placid!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:25, Reply)

i think
there was probably quite a lot to be said for a pop larkin style countrysidelife in the 50s/60s. sunshine, no need to lock the doors, everyone knowing everybody else, married at 20, boatload of happy children by 25....

of course it's hugely hypocritical given that i couldn't survive without my GHDs and chanel cosmetics and mulberry handbags and laboutin shoes and pubs and bars and sports car. i like teh stuff, me. but that's because i enjoy the best things about modern life without the majority of the worse things about the world today touching me.

i wonder if a lot of it is down to the media. things like child abductions, for example, were they as prolific but nobody knew about them? or have they increased massively?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:38, Reply)

Swipe
The UK at the moment has the lowest crime rate for decades. It's a much safer place than it was in the supposeldly halcyon 50's. It's just that the Daily Heil won't allow us to recognise that.

@Captain Placid
Of course noone has a right to enter your house without permission in the normal run of things. Your rights, though, are limited to what is reasonable - which is reflected in the law, and which is why the suggestion that that law should be changed a couple of years ago was patently mad. After all - the only way it could be changed was to allow unreasonable force. And who in their right mind would want a law that allows that?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:38, Reply)

We're much safer now.
The thing that has changed between then and now is communication- we hear far more about the child abuse and such now, due to better communications. We also have tons more laws now than then designed to protect us from ourselves- seat belt laws, workplace safety laws, all the nanny laws that came about from people doing stupid things. The nanny laws is where lawyers have been to blame- they've shifted the blame from the person who did the stupid thing to the corporation whose product was in use when the person did something stupid.

Truth is, we're healthier, safer and generally more likely to live to an old age than people were less than a hundred years ago. The people who tell you how wonderful things were in the 1950s have on their Good Ol' Days goggles.

EDIT: and by the way, a lot of the swelling of prison populations can be attributed to changes in laws, rather than increases in crimes. People are jailed now for things that would have merely gotten them a fine in the 1950s. Drunk driving springs to mind...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:55, Reply)

@ enzyme
or is it just that a clever shuffling of numbers and statistics and declassifying things reduces the number of crimes by reconstituting what comprises one?

i simply can't believe we can have a significantly higher population and have less crime; it simply doesn't compute, daily reactionary twat reader or guardian reader!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:55, Reply)

@ Enzyme
Your point regarding "Unreasonable force" is well put and I wholeheartedly agree.
However, my personal beliefs regarding society and law are the same as the description of a "Rational Anarchist" in Heinlein's "The Moon is a harsh mistress".
I will break the rules, mores and laws of your society as I see fit. Should I fall foul of the law, I won't blame my actions on anyone else. I am an adult and I make my own decisions and accept the consequences.

The McD's lawsuit article made interesting reading too!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:57, Reply)

I think
those who prevent their victims' access to their rights should lose access to their own as part of the punishment.

i.e. a burglar breaks into someone's house, they have removed the right to privacy and personal space, as well as causing undue stress and potential injury to the victim.

Why should murderers have any rights what-so-ever when they (more often than not) purposely remove the victim's right to live?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 17:04, Reply)

I think
they got it right in Brasseye; where the victim of a crime is allowed the opportunity to perform the same crime on the perpetrator... hence the French lady taking a shit on the carpet of the young man who had defecated in her house.

That'd stop em!
( Moey, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 17:07, Reply)

i think
there is an ever widening gap between richer and poorer elements of society. this, combined with factors such as third generation unemployment in the family; magazines promoting celebrity lifestyles and credit cards making it easy to buy things and get into debt; easier accessibility of drugs and the glamour of "die young stay pretty" street life, are as much to blame as anything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 17:12, Reply)

@ Al
Fine by me.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 17:16, Reply)

@Al
Max Mosely some people might pay good money for that...
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 17:19, Reply)