my ex's mum used to tell him she was taking him back to the orphanage to swap him for a better little boy
he said she had him packing his suitcase once, he was in floods.

my dad used to get so cross when i refused to eat expensive meat that he would hold my nose until i had to open my mouth to breathe and then shove it in. it's no wonder i've been veggie since i was 13. i threatened to report him to the nspcc. he laughed and said, cruel dad forces daughter to eat filet steak, off you go...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:34, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

you've got expensive meat all over your face.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)

nah
you're definitely tesco value
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)

i don know where to begin tbh

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)

hoorah
i have silenced quentin
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)

*paging sigmund sputnik*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Just think, if they'd swapped him
you might still be together.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)

he was an idiot to believe it
she was the only person on the planet with a nose as big as his
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:47, Reply)

Who you calling Bignose?
Bignose!
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Whenever my kids tell me that I'm mean or they don't like me I tell them I'm going out to find them a better daddy
Currently it always works and they back down. However in a few years they will be packing my bag for me.
( Peej, Mon 28 Oct 2013, 11:45, Reply)