Have you been pretending to be busy and engaging in an imaginary social life or summink?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:43, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

doing some new stuff at work
New strings to bow etc etc.

Plus just generally being really good looking.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:46, Reply)

'Cool beans'
Being this handsome takes up a fair portion of my time too.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:47, Reply)

innit
It's really tiring. These cheekbones take a lot of work to maintain.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:49, Reply)

Yeah. I spend a lot of time working on the eye stuff. Alluring looks, glances, that kinda thing.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:51, Reply)

I have soulful and beseeching eyes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:51, Reply)

A female teacher told my mother that with my eyes I'd have girls queuing at the door. I missed my chance for the cool kind of noncing because she never bothered to tell me this salient information.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:54, Reply)

I've been stopped in the street several times by women telling me how good looking I am.
It's a bit embarrassing TBH.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:57, Reply)

Yes, I feel your pain. It's nice to finally meet someone who understands the daily difficulties of our 'curse'.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:59, Reply)

It gets worse; there's an EFL college just up the road from me.
So in the summer I get harassed by nubile Spanish and Italian 18 year old girls.

It's not much fun.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:00, Reply)

You must never get a minutes peace, it's a good job you're a shut in web weirdo.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:02, Reply)

yer, cos internet isn't available on portable devices, is it?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:06, Reply)

^upset^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:09, Reply)

^bent^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:09, Reply)

^upseter^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:10, Reply)

*he typed upsettedly*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:14, Reply)

The curse is less of a pain than you two morons

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:02, Reply)

It's ok Gill, you're beautiful *inside*, that's what really counts!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:03, Reply)

oh Gill, you've never been the same after your dalliance with Buckinghamshire's pleather casanova, have you?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:09, Reply)

YoU would know
Oh wait - even that desperado stood you up!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:12, Reply)

^upset and indignant^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:15, Reply)

Well you've arrived in the right thread cos we all been like,
"Wot you been up to at work" shit.
Tell us more of this new stuff.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:48, Reply)

it's dull IFA stuff

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:49, Reply)

IFA.......
I Fuck Animals?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:52, Reply)

independent financial advice
You know, ISAs, OEICs, pensions, mortgages, structured products, income drawdown, inheritance tax planning, life assurance, trusts, that sort of thing.

Dull stuff.

Not cash ISAs, only a know-nothing prick would suggest a cash ISA.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:55, Reply)

I did know this, but thanks for assuming I am thick as pigshit and wouldn't understand. Usually you would be completely right to assume this.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:57, Reply)

it's a click from me!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:58, Reply)

Nah, It's one of his ferkin Proclaimers songs.
IFA could walk five hundred miles, yah da da dah
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:57, Reply)

Ha ha!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:59, Reply)

good looking.

vain & existing on a low income
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:51, Reply)

Come on, you've seen the pictures, he's 'dreamy'. You would, wouldn't you?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:55, Reply)