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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hey where'd Battered's thread go?I had some rude things to say about people.
What rude things would you like to say about people?
Alt: alright?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:54,
106 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I decided it was shit. So I deleted it. How are things with you tangles?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:56,
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Pretty good, ta.How's things with you? Got a proper job yet?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:59,
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I work as an independent consultant/ advisor, so sometimes I'll do a few days for a company, sometimes a few months.That's about as close as I get to a 'proper job'.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:04,
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Consumer brand strategy, proposition development etc.Though been doing more general management, structural review type stuff recently (last 24 months) moving towards re-engineering the offer & operation of PE backed companies.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:10,
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Fucken 'ell Batts I thought English was my first language.I know all those words but I don't understand them in that order.
Can you give me an example of what's wrong when someone calls you in and what you do for them to put it right?
(Not takin the piss here btw)
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:14,
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He goes into struggling businesses, sacks half their staff and then advises them how to use the remaining staff(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:16,
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Typically, a large company that isn't doing well (for one or more reasons) brings people like me in to sort it out.The problems could be anything, from how the company sells, how it is structured & operates, how & what it advertises, how the company is financed etc. the objective being to make the business profitable (or more profitable than it previously was).
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:19,
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Getting it now thanks.So how do you know more than they do?
Have you run successful businesses?
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:28,
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Well good for you.Anyone who improves other people's lots will do for me.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:40,
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Doesn't always go well; I was responsible for a few thousand people losing their jobs last year. Not exactly what I'd consider the better aspect to my career...
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:42,
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Well if they was doing it so wrong wouldn't those people be out of work soon plus others?
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:51,
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Nice work if you can get it(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:08,
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Had a good meeting this morning with one of the big 4 consulting firms, who are looking to advise a group of lenders on a £100mil acquisition.& may want me to help with the pitch to the potential lenders. Also involved with another potential acquisition (as a consultant, not an investor) of a retail chain, subject to due diligence on the company.
These are bigger things than I have done to date.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:12,
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Yer I replied to that before he becameashamed of what he'd wrote.
Twat of a customer today I wanted to say, "You're a twat of a customer."
Not bad ta.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:57,
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It's shit having to be polite to people when they're twatsI usually redress the balance by being rude to my staff.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:01,
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If I did they'd get their own back and I'd lose money.(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:03,
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I'm too tired to be horrible. Alt: yes, thanks for asking. Nearly holiday time innit.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:06,
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You ok matey, you sounded a bit grumpy lately?(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:07,
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Have I? I haven't meant to. Yeah, I'm alright. Ready for some time off work pal.All good with you?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:08,
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Yer ta. You off away or putting your decs up?
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:10,
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Long weekend away Friday, week and a bit off at Xmas.I'm looking forward to it, I know I have gone on about it before, but that will be the first week off since last xmas and I'm really ready for it!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:12,
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Staying in swipe's spare bedroom?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:14,
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It's seeing some hawt action soon Dad next weekend. My prego friend and her existing crotchfruit after Christmas...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:18,
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So you're not joining your Doris & me on Sunday?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:14,
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Afraid not mate, you'll have to put up with her on your own. Hard luck.I hope to be able to buy you a beer another time though.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:18,
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I'll look forward to that. Regarding Sunday, I'm hoping to have a nap whilst she entertains Micro for me.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:20,
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You've got your priorities right. I respect that.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:21,
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There's wisdom in knowing when to stop.If you don't your body will do it for you.
Shut down I mean.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:18,
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Yeah, I will have proper time off next year, It was just important (to me anyway) to get the business up and running properly etc.But I've probably done a bit too much really. At least I'm getting paid for the holiday I haven't taken.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:20,
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What business sector are you in?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:24,
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I manage a little independent heating spares distributor and merchant. Pretty boring stuff.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:25,
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Tbh, I think we all find our jobs boring to some extent. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:27,
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I find my job v interesting But certain cases dull as fuck
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:30,
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I imagine it must be incredibly dull to hear about :)(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:32,
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Depends if you have the intellect to keep up or not...(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:36,
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+ have the required level of interest to bother listening. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:39,
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I just pretend to, while I'm thinking about meat and beer.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:40,
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True. It's incredibly boring to talk about to other people, but I quite like it. It's a nice company to work for, we are all friends rather rather than just employees and colleagues,Plus this weekend away is a work xmas extra bonus type affair which will be good fun.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:31,
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Never bored with mine.Angry, upset, pissed off sometimes but never bored.
But then it's my business so I'd be a twat to let it get boring.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:36,
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I'd like to be rude to British Gas as there's always a 45 minute wait before they pick upbut they're always so LOVELY when they do that I can't
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:18,
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Strategy.Tell them to fuck off just before they answer.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:24,
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HahaAnd call them cunts just after hanging up. That'll teach 'em!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:24,
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Oi Plummy.Frog here's calling you a cunt mate.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:44,
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Have you been pretending to be busy and engaging in an imaginary social life or summink?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:43,
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doing some new stuff at workNew strings to bow etc etc.
Plus just generally being really good looking.
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'Cool beans'Being this handsome takes up a fair portion of my time too.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:47,
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innitIt's really tiring. These cheekbones take a lot of work to maintain.
(, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:49, Reply)
Yeah. I spend a lot of time working on the eye stuff. Alluring looks, glances, that kinda thing.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:51,
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A female teacher told my mother that with my eyes I'd have girls queuing at the door. I missed my chance for the cool kind of noncing because she never bothered to tell me this salient information.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:54,
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I've been stopped in the street several times by women telling me how good looking I am.It's a bit embarrassing TBH.
(, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:57, Reply)
Yes, I feel your pain. It's nice to finally meet someone who understands the daily difficulties of our 'curse'.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:59,
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It gets worse; there's an EFL college just up the road from me.So in the summer I get harassed by nubile Spanish and Italian 18 year old girls.
It's not much fun.
(, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:00, Reply)
You must never get a minutes peace, it's a good job you're a shut in web weirdo.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:02,
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The curse is less of a pain than you two morons (
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:02,
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It's ok Gill, you're beautiful *inside*, that's what really counts!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:03,
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oh Gill, you've never been the same after your dalliance with Buckinghamshire's pleather casanova, have you?(, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:09, Reply)
YoU would knowOh wait - even that desperado stood you up!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:12,
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Well you've arrived in the right thread cos we all been like,"Wot you been up to at work" shit.
Tell us more of this new stuff.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:48,
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independent financial adviceYou know, ISAs, OEICs, pensions, mortgages, structured products, income drawdown, inheritance tax planning, life assurance, trusts, that sort of thing.
Dull stuff.
Not cash ISAs, only a know-nothing prick would suggest a cash ISA.
(, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:55, Reply)
I did know this, but thanks for assuming I am thick as pigshit and wouldn't understand. Usually you would be completely right to assume this.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:57,
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Nah, It's one of his ferkin Proclaimers songs.IFA could walk five hundred miles, yah da da dah
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:57,
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vain & existing on a low income
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:51,
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Come on, you've seen the pictures, he's 'dreamy'. You would, wouldn't you?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:55,
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Well dears, early start for meSo must forego your sparkling wit and repartee 'til another day.
Nite nite.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:06,
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tá mé chorr éisc. tá mé muineál fada agus a bhaint mé éisc amach as an uisce le mo ghob. más rud é nach bhfuil tú ag chóipeáil seo isteach ar deich leathanaigh éagsúla, beidh mé ag eitilt isteach i do chistin agus cur isteach ar do potaí agus friochtán.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:39,
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yeah been doin some work, now looking for a trench coat(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:44,
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