Bugger, last week's QotW, I could've done...
With some possible pearoast-age...

Peter Macann (from Tomorrow's World/Virgin Atlantic Challenger, favourite presenter after Michael Rodd)
Showed him how to use a PC, was a little disappointed that he didn't know as much about computers as you'd expect from a Tomorrow's World presenter. His wife made a cottage pie for dinner - which was nice.

(Sir) Bob Geldof
Three times in one week - I could've sworn he was following me around - twice in London, once in PARIS. Waiting in the Gare du Nord Eurostar terminal for the first train. It freaked me out. *Sat behind me on the train* Feck off, stalker!

I stood on David Cronenberg's foot at the premier of the Clive Barker film he was in. (Nightbreed, cheap tickets on the night!)
Almost stood on Mike McShane's foot in the old Forbidden Planet. (Yes kids, I know you don't know who he is)
Brushed my arse against the supposedly beautiful Liv Tyler (I've seen better Elves) trying to get passed her table to get coffee. Didn't know.
Stood next to Kelly Brook in the newsagents, all the time the chap behind the counter was giving me the "Blimey look at her" type expression... I was oblivious.

Jumped when Dave Allen came through the changing room door of the gym, had to explain to him that it wasn't "just" because it was him, but that my reaction was mainly because my stepdad looked a lot like him, so my brain was wondering why my stepdad had travelled 220 miles to see me *at the gym*.

Same gym (not a member now), had to ask Nigel Plainer to move so that I could get to my locker. Yes, it's very showbiz-dull.
Katie Puckrick on the running machine next to me. Very difficult to concentrate as I had a real thing for her when she was on The Word.
Brian Eno, Paxo, Raph Fiennes, Pete Burns (Yikes!), er, there are more.

Nudged Robbie Williams awake. Went to work early one morning, half seven-ish and he was asleep on the bench outside Starbucks. (Not there now, possibly because people kept sleeping on it) Thought it was best he went home - just down the road at the time - he was very, very drunk.

The best one? I saw the top 3cms of Woody Allen's head when he was filming near work.
( Tchmilfan, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:20, 128 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I live two streets up from Rick Witter.
Shit off.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:24, Reply)

Now, that's much better than mine.
Class!
( Tchmilfan, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:30, Reply)

Rick 'fuck' Witter, as he was known to music fans.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:37, Reply)

Shed Seven are and always were 'fucking shit'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:50, Reply)

Fucking testify.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 23:30, Reply)

get fucked

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:38, Reply)

Profile for Tchmilfan:
a member for 11 years, 1 month and 18 days
has posted 25 messages on the main board
has posted 2 messages on the talk board
has posted 9 messages on the links board
(including 2 links)
has posted 1 stories and 2 replies on question of the week
They liked 22 pictures, 5 links, 0 talk posts, and 8 qotw answers.

All that in 11 years?

Woah. Steady on.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:41, Reply)

it's almost like some people have better things to do
not us though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:42, Reply)

Not tonight at least.
Currently baking a gammon for Christmas & making sure this mutt hasn't shat anywhere indoors.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:45, Reply)

It's a quiet life.

I rely on you lot to provide the entertainment... a bit like a monkey enclosure, but with more shit.

ooh get her.
( Tchmilfan, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:48, Reply)

There is plenty of shit around here.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:49, Reply)

Used to look after the landlady's Briard dog. An oversized version that had all kinds of guts/arse problems.

Came home once to find a 2 foot wide pancake of slurry.

Dry heaves were involved.
( Tchmilfan, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:56, Reply)

I can manage dealing with my daughter's nappies ok, but it's taken a couple of years to get to that point.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:57, Reply)

your landlady's dog is Gonz

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 19:59, Reply)

Evening shitcunts
I have chip butty and red wine
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:32, Reply)

I have puppy piss on the kitchen floor.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:33, Reply)

At least it isn't carpet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:34, Reply)

Yet.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:36, Reply)

trufax
Take him out again, play with him, then chill him out with loads of strokes and he'll go to kip
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:37, Reply)

* makes notes *
Ta.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:38, Reply)

Dogs just need to feel included and chilled
Mine is currently snoring!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:48, Reply)

alright Field Marshall Sportington-Smythe (Ret.)

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:33, Reply)

SIR YES SIR
I really cannot be fucked to do any work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:33, Reply)

I have red wine

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:35, Reply)

I'm on Yellow Tail shiraz
Cheap and cheerful, almost like me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:36, Reply)

I have Ogio Primitivo
My usual Friday night tipple is Brunello di Montalcino.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:42, Reply)

i have tea

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:42, Reply)

and an empty life of despair and enforced celibacy

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:43, Reply)

I happen to think Cavy looks rather hot in her FB photo

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:48, Reply)

Sicko.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:48, Reply)

She looks like an ex of mine in it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:49, Reply)

All this means is that you've had poor taste for a long time.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:50, Reply)

I hate to say this but I agree with Battered here.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:50, Reply)

i hate agreeing with you two
but I don't fancy me either
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:52, Reply)

You just remind me of her is all

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:55, Reply)

I have mostly excellent taste in women
I have many exes on my FB for comparision purposes, including the lady in question
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:57, Reply)

then I shall take a compliment

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:58, Reply)

As it is intended, my good lady

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:58, Reply)

he's not wrong, though

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:50, Reply)

plus, it's the goggles
which get the guys every time
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:51, Reply)

the only guys that dig goggles are steampunk pricks and swimming fetishists

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:54, Reply)

RIP CQ

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:54, Reply)

and larpers

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:54, Reply)

I try not to acknowledge the existence of such abject lifefailures

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:56, Reply)

lifefailures = people who do things you don't like

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:59, Reply)

no, people who have such failed lives that they have to dress up as orcs and have swordfights in the park.
I think I stopped that when I was 10. I'm nearly 34 now.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:00, Reply)

Do you still do E?
Is this not a different take on escapism from the humdrum of the week?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:01, Reply)

every now and then, depends who's DJing innit
But nobody there is reenacting a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' book while suffering from crippling BO.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:04, Reply)

^ TGGI
Personally, I prefer alcohol for the same effect.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:04, Reply)

so, you're condoning LARP?
How the supercilious have fallen.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:05, Reply)

I'm simply saying that although I couldnt be fucking bothered to do it, I understand why people might

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:09, Reply)

I'm saying there is nothing wrong with wanting to escape from your everyday tedium.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:10, Reply)

chin chin!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:11, Reply)

Cheers!
I think you might like this gammon recipe I'm using:

Soak in cold water for 24 hours.
Simmer for 3 hours with 3 bay leaves, lump of ginger, cinnamon stick, corriander seeds, peppercorns, celery & carrot.

Then glaze with honey, smoked garlic, mustard powder & lemon zest.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:15, Reply)

That sounds good to me
I think the important thing is that the glaze thickens up quickly. Coca Cola ham time next weekend for me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:16, Reply)

With this one you make the glaze separately beforehand, so you know you're happy with the consistency before you use it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:18, Reply)

I've always ended up boiling mine down before roasting after cooking the ham in it first
Bit more mustard powder and maple syrup in to get it extra chewy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:19, Reply)

I ent disagreeing with that
But LARP is tragic as fuck.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:12, Reply)

and every one of us cares for your opinion

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:13, Reply)

well of course you don't
Doesn't stop me stating it, does it?

No doubt you find the whole 'normal social life' thing to be equally risible.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:16, Reply)

Sangiovese grapes make excellent rustic reds.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:43, Reply)

Sangiovese is a Dozer favourite.
You'll sneer, but Tesco used to do a passable 'Simply Sangiovese' but all you've been able to get for the last few years is those mini bottles rather than the proper 750ml ones.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:46, Reply)

The Tesco Simply range is all rather good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:47, Reply)

Why would I sneer?
Careful selection among supermarket wine ranges can result in some excellent bargains.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:48, Reply)

Indeed it can.
The Simply Sangiovese was rather good.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 20:50, Reply)

GET FUCKED.
Not really.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:26, Reply)

I'm braced and ready for a hot pork injection

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:27, Reply)

I'm off out for dinner.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:28, Reply)

Oh man
Spurned
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:28, Reply)

He says dinner... he means he's meeting Dozer in a cottage on Hampstead Heath for mutual rimming.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:30, Reply)

Peanut butt-er

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:31, Reply)

I'd love to.
Bring the lube with you eh?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:28, Reply)

No.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:30, Reply)

* cries *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:30, Reply)

Went in dry, did he?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:32, Reply)

Any more of that & I'll end up with a prolapse.
Again.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:33, Reply)

PINKSOCK

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:35, Reply)

No, really

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:30, Reply)

I can't quite decide if I like Ripper St or not

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:33, Reply)

The best film ever made is on Film 4.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:33, Reply)

Trading Places?
Or The Hunt For Red October?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:35, Reply)

Trading Places.
YEAH.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:36, Reply)

I think I'm going to sack Ripper St off and watch Walking Dead
again
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:38, Reply)

Taxi Driver?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:37, Reply)

FlashDance 2 - This Time Its Personal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:37, Reply)

Anal Cum Sluts 3.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:39, Reply)

Its good but its no Anal Cum Sluts 7 - Colon Invaders

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:43, Reply)

which in turn is no Transsexual Babysitters 4

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:44, Reply)

Stupid SHIMs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:48, Reply)

transphobic prick

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:48, Reply)

Too confusing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:49, Reply)

confusing how?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:49, Reply)

Tits or dicks
Not both
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:51, Reply)

I wasn't a fan of the soundtrack to that one, it also lacked the art direction of Part 6 (This Time it's Hemorrhoids™)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 21:46, Reply)

wanker

(Sebastian Dried-on excreta bull goose loony, silverback shitposting alpha, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 22:10, Reply)

alright Frank

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 22:15, Reply)