Gosh it's quiet
This morning. Was everyone mullered last night, or do B3tans have real lives and stuff to do on a Saturday?

Or is it a plot? Did the CIA spray chloroform up my snoozing nostrils to allow Tom Cruise to be winched down out of the loft, hover over my laptop and adjust it so it appears B3ta has been silenced and any second it'll exploooooode?

Ahem.

Weather forecast poo, no money, but I will be going to see some film or other called The Dark Knight tonight: can't say I'd really heard of it but apparently its about people dressing up.

What's everyone else up to?

Helloooooooo
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 11:18, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

heeeeeeellllooooooooo osok
I'm at work. Everyone else is out having fun and giggling and eating lollipops.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 11:24, Reply)

HLT
I don't believe you. You're a CIA designed robot whose original programming will be activated by the careless use of the word 'Echidna' causing you to put on an Austrian accent and go on a murderous rampage...

Uh-Oh.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 11:39, Reply)

oh yeah.
so I am.

*assumes Austrian accent*

*goes on murderous rampage*

*starts with Tom Cruise, in osok's loft*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 11:41, Reply)

Thought I heard something up there
Muffled screams, torn scraps of scientology books fluttering down as a dwarf gets his scary glassy-eyed big-toothed (short) arse ripped into tiny chunks.

Or it could have been a pigeon.

I think I prefer the former.

While you're up there, see if you can find the 500 Star Wars toys in their original boxes, willya?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 11:46, Reply)

*shouts*
chuck us a torch wouldya?

*looks round*

Nah, can't see any Star Wars toys!

What's this? Oh - ugh they're all sticky....!

Oh no! No no no. Not that. Please god not that.

*goes pale*

*scrambles down from loft*

You do NOT want to go up there, mate.

*quivers*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Sorry, should have warned you
Been meaning to have a bit of a clearup.

I mean, I've sold the transplantable bits already, as well as the watches and jewellery, but the 'scraps' do mount up.

Down the dump again, or Casserole a la Lecter? Hmmm, the agony of choice.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 11:59, Reply)

I've got a nice chianti
I've just frightened myself
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 12:05, Reply)

*checks*
Sorry, out of liver. Think the last 'batch' went to Hong Kong.

However, a nice Chianti goes down well with a nice serving of Posintang (google at your peril, especially as I can't spell).

Followed by Rocky Mountain Oysters, and then a healthy serving of Smala Hove.

I'll just pop out for the 'ingredients'.

*sharpens knife*

*heads for farm*
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 12:16, Reply)

oooh lovely!
I'll get me chefs hat on.

We can use the "best" china too.

*dons apron*

edit: do you think we scared everyone else away?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 12:24, Reply)

Groan
Have just been gored, trampled and headbutted over a fence by an enraged former bull.

Daisy was a piece of piss by comparison, once I'd hit the Welshman jammed in her with a lump hammer, a quick bleat and a short sharp shower of claret later, ta daaah.

'Posy' was even easier. Some pillock had left her not only unattended, but tied to a post so she couldn't even leg it.

Damn, forgot the onions.


PS I still have a Welshman in the boot. Canape?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 12:37, Reply)

afternoon
it is quiet...

I've been in my bathroom since 9:30 laying tiles

trying to decide whether 180 in 3 hours is fast or slow....

average of 1 a minute I suppose. hmmm

looking good though

and I just had a lunch consisting of a sandwich full of lamb koftes and sauce from last night's homemade curry
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 12:38, Reply)

*nibbles canape*
That's weird. It tastes of leeks.

Right, I'll see what I can do with this lot.

I'm thinking pie.

No?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 12:44, Reply)

Mr V
Lamb koftes should be followed by braised 'white offal'. I managed to 'find' some, but I'm afraid it's Welsh.

HLT has dibs on the liver.

ed: HLT you're lucky. My bit tasted of Llanelli.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 12:45, Reply)

@osok
ooh, never mind.

pie'll be ready soon.

care to join us mr v?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 12:51, Reply)

I knew that the mention of the 'L' word
Would send him back to his tiling, looking nervously over his shoulder.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 12:59, Reply)

I expect he's gone out
for some more wine
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:02, Reply)

Good morning Osok & everyone else
I haven't slept this week, so I tumbled out of bed at a disgusting 11:30am. I was very pleased to receive a couple of gaz messages this morning (thank you chaps) and to top it all off, my brother has signed up to b3ta.

I hope everyone else is having a lovely Saturday too.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:10, Reply)

Noon all!
Well, it's been a rip-roaring feast of Olympic action, and now I'm watching the footie!

I love Saturday! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:15, Reply)

HLT et al
Naah, definitely running from pie. Some people have no taste.

PJM good avo, now that you've hauled yourself out of the wanking chariot.

DiT I can't watch the 'Lympics without the Chinese Swimmers gag sitting on the tip of my tongue, in the certain knowledge that my wife will not be amused and may hurt me.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:19, Reply)

afternoon Devilly One, PJM
care for some pie?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:30, Reply)

What sort of pie?
If it's not apple, then yes please! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:31, Reply)

ah, it's er, lovely bespoke pie.
(see above)
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:33, Reply)

Devil
You really don't wanna know. HLT hides, behind a thoroughly fluffy exterior, a secret that cannot escape her oven (although it does knock at the inside of the glass, at least for a while)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:34, Reply)

@ osok
It's all right, this one won't.

*hides empty bottle of chloroform*

*grins*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:48, Reply)

well, I've finished all of the whole tiles
apart from the rows at the bottom

so not too much left to do!

huzzah
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:56, Reply)

HLT
Hmm, a suitable marinade to remove the faint chloroform aroma?

Vipros, stop doing active, practical stuff, you make the rest of us look like slackers. Which we are.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 14:14, Reply)

Oh, the things that remind you of b3ta in the real world
I've just been getting on with my matched betting antics as usual this afternoon, and in the 3:30 at Newmarket this afternoon, there's a horse called "The Game".

So, of course, I lost it.

I'm so terribly, terribly sorry everyone.
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 15:29, Reply)

huh
thanks, fireflier.

*frowns*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 15:37, Reply)

Although on a brighter note...
In this case, The Game also lost.

* ponders *

Does that make it a draw?
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 15:44, Reply)

afternoon Al
I'm not a happy bunny. I have been for a run, got all my chores done and had Mr Bin's lunch on the table when he came home from work for lunch. (fuck me I'm the perfect wife, this and I play video games).
Right, off to sit in the back garden with a book. Get myself sat down with my book and ten minutes later the sun goes behind a big black rain cloud never to be seen again.
Fucksocks.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 16 Aug 2008, 16:10, Reply)

It's Jasper Fforde - First Among Sequals
I can sit inside and read but it's not quite the same really is it.

Oh, I meant to ask 'Dre'?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 16 Aug 2008, 16:17, Reply)

damn you for making me lose the game
I'm pleased to say however, that I remembered Dre only the other day

I'm also pleased to say that I've now done the vast majority of the tiling and only have about 50 left to go.

then the acres of grouting....

still, almost there!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 16:34, Reply)

Al
Now you is jest being pure wieeerd, boy.

Being outside in the rain but under cover, so you can read your book, have a smoke, a dram, a brew or whatevers with it tipping down all around you is a very satisfying thing.

(Getting tipsy, standing up to find out that you are precisely one inch too tall for your top cover and having a parasol tip half a gallon of cold water down your neck is a less good thing)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 18:08, Reply)

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwnnnn
*stretches*

Anyone here? I've been at a gallery in town, pretending I knew what was going on, and now I'm just exhausted by it all.
( thealternativefact, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 18:46, Reply)

Guess it's just me then.
*shuffles back to pillow*
( thealternativefact, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 19:17, Reply)

Helloooooooo
Echo, echo, echo
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 16 Aug 2008, 21:29, Reply)

Evening
all, I'm here.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 22:09, Reply)

In answer to your question Osok
nah we don't have lives. Well I don't at the moment anyway. I've been working since 8.30am and just got home half an hour ago.

I has the tireds.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 22:30, Reply)

Evening Becks
Have all of the sits down and cups of tea.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 16 Aug 2008, 22:33, Reply)

Oh cuntflaps
I forgot dodgeball was on.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 16 Aug 2008, 22:39, Reply)

Accepts sit downs, but negates tea as it's horrible.
Oh bugger, I love dodgeball. I'm watching Go as I haven't seen it in years. Forgot how good it is.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 22:44, Reply)

Watch the cell with the sound off
makes it a great visual pleasure as it's so pretty :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 22:47, Reply)

Ning all
Getting ready to visit friends in Wales tomorrow, I class this as "reaching out to the disadvantaged".
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sun 17 Aug 2008, 0:04, Reply)