I have a new family member
My sister has just had a baby girl (first neice the rest are boys, why is it babies all look the same?). Only problem with this is it has made my Mrs broody and I'm not sure how to snap her out of it.
Any ideas welcome.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:05, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Babies Vs Shoes

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Get a vasectomy.
That'll do it.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:18, Reply)

@TGB
Thanks, will give that one a go when I get home.

@Al I was thinking something like that as a worst case scenario

*edit* DIT - I'm not discarding the idea, I just want to put it off for a few years yet, I'm only 23 I just feel it's too young
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:21, Reply)

getting married
that seemed to work for me :)
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:26, Reply)

Show her a birthing video
That'll do the trick.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:27, Reply)

The birthing video could work
But she would make me sit down and watch it too, my stomach isn't very strong at the moment and I think that might tip it over the edge
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:29, Reply)

Throwing up on her would work in your favour
"If we had a baby dear you would have to get use to sick everywhere"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:34, Reply)

TGB
Does that work the same if I take a piss in the middle of the room
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:35, Reply)

I would guess so
I've never wanted kids for all of the above reasons.

My cars are my babies :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:39, Reply)

@quagarr
OK then! :) Tell her you'll plough the furrow with her when you're goddamn good and ready! ;)

The sick idea is quite good too! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:39, Reply)

Alternatively
Drink nothing but Guinness for three days, eat a massive kebab. Let it brew for 24 hours, do your brown business in a nappy and leave it on her bedside table.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:40, Reply)

@DIT
Might do that just so I can see the look on her face when I say 'plough the furrow'
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:45, Reply)

TGB is a genius
Or you could simply jam a cigar in the baby's mouth and announce to all and sundry that it looks like Winston Churchill.

Works wonders that one.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:46, Reply)

@PJM
Funny how many of them look like Churchill, isn't it? And one of my nieces looked exactly like Alfred Hitchcock. I've also seen ones that resemble Einstein (or Yoda if I'm feeling mean).
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:53, Reply)

@Loon
I call my youngest nephew Yoda, he has the sticky out ears and everything
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:55, Reply)

Babysitting
One whole night. -overnight. wait till the baby is about 6 months, and feed it oranges. Gives them the runs something terrible. Surely thats enough to put you off for life?
(never want kids, but they won't consider you for sterilisation till your 30! :( )
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:55, Reply)

^
I am babysitting her sisters kids tonight. Might try that one for a laugh.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:00, Reply)

well
stretch marks, ruined nipples, a bucket cnut, constipation, being fat for a year and spending the next 20 years looking after it and you!

ps congratulations
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:01, Reply)

Halfy
Thank you.
I have tried something along those lines, it was just shrugged off.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:05, Reply)

ok then escalate
you will both smell of vomit, shit and piss for the next 5 years, every item of clothing you own will have a stain on it of some ghastly bodily fluid the house will be destroyed, so will your self worth, and no-one will be interested in you, only the little satan thing.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:12, Reply)

To add to Halfy's list of woes...
tell her she won't be fat for just a year - it'll change her body shape forever. No more wearing little crop tops because now she's got a permanent muffin top - regardless of how much she diets.

Add to that piles, grey hair, temporary loss of sex drive, and perhaps most importantly....

All the while you have a baby with you (and this holds true until they're into double figures at least) you *must* be the adult.

So that means one of you has to remain sober.

One of you has to be sensible.

One of you has to be a good influence.

And one of you can't buy as many shoes.


That said, they are lovely when they're your own and as they get older their toys get to be far more fun - Zoo Tycoon on the PC FTW!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:12, Reply)

Ah, chickenlady's nuggets
Yep, sometimes the resulting offspring will conspire to cause explosions in the bathroom too...

The little buggers learn fast.

*edit*

Doesn't stop you from adding to your handbag collection?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:15, Reply)

Thank you everyone
I will defiantly be mentioning the horrible mess and smells that come hand in hand with having a baby, plus the fact I'm not grown up enough. I think the Pièce de résistance might have come from Chickenlady with the piles, grey hair and temporary loss of sex drive.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Having to always be a responsible adult
is really the shit part of the deal. Feel like sleeping in on Saturday morning? Sorry, the baby's awake, so you have to get up. Want to go out to dinner? Sorry, the baby's going to squall throughout your meal- or once it's old enough to eat solids, you'll spend every meal cutting up someone else's meat. Want to go to a movie? You'll need to find a babysitter and pay them well.

Eventually these will not be a big issue, but when you're in your early 20s, do you really want to give up your own youth?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:47, Reply)

@TRL
I agree completely, I just feel that at 23 (she is only 20) we are far too young to be worrying about what we can/cant do because we are tied down with a baby and my greatest fear is looking back in 20 years and regretting not being able to have fun.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:58, Reply)

Yup.
My oldest was born when I was 27, and at that point I had listened to six years of nagging for a baby. My last was born when I was 30, and I got a vasectomy a few months later. I've spent the past 18 years not being able to be selfish and have fun, and still have a few more years of that.

Do I regret it? Not really- I just wish we had waited another year or two before I gave in to the perpetual whine. (Goddam Catholic programming...) And I wish I had not married at 22, as she immediately decided that since we were married we now had to be Adults and give up doing the things I had been enjoying up until then... (Goddam Brady Bunch/Barbie and Ken programming...)

Stand yer ground, lad. Trust me on this.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 14:05, Reply)

I know
I think it's because everyone in her family has kids, and my sister has just popped out kid No.3 and in her mind she is being left behind, she has always loved kids (quiet back there) and really wants to be a mum whereas I would rather concentrate on my career and getting financially stable enough while having fun at the same time.
That said I do want kids with her just not for a fair few years yet.

*edit* Thanks TRL, you truly are wise owl
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 14:09, Reply)

I think I would
send her some of the replies you've gotten on here, and let her hear it from those of us who have kids and know of what we speak.

Also, have her look at this. (Work safe, by the way- but it should give a few second or third thoughts to the whole baby question.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 14:13, Reply)

^
That is a very disturbing look at pregnency, it hardly seems real
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 14:18, Reply)

Yup.
But once she sees what it's gonna do to her belly, getting knocked up will seem a lot less appealing...

EDIT: There's more of that sort of thing here.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 14:24, Reply)

I
Have just emailed that link to myself so I can show her when I get home tonight, hopefully it will have the same effect on her as it has on me.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Difficult
It depends on whether she's just broody or if there are deeper issues there. Frankly at twenty she doesn't need to start to think about it for a while yet - I'd go so far as to say you'd be better off enjoying life for a bit, getting a career and a mortgage etc and then taking the plunge.

However, if - like an ex I posted about a while ago - she's utterly fixated on having babies as a means of distracting her from inner-crappiness - then I'd exercise caution.

Nothing kills a relationship like the threat of an unplanned (by one partner at least) pregnancy.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 22 Aug 2008, 14:48, Reply)

PJM
The answers I have been given here should help me convince her to wait. I don’t think it is utter fixation and she isn't the sort of person to stop taking her pill behind my back or anything like that.
Until my sister had her baby we were trying to save up for a mortgage so we had some sort of stability. It might just be a phase, I just want to nip it in the bud so to speak before we start to argue over it.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 14:56, Reply)

easy
just get her to look after someone else's for an entire weekend.

nothing makes you cling onto your pill packet/condom stash tighter than that!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 15:06, Reply)

I could try that.
But if it has the opposite effect I will never hear the end of it.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Mrs Dchurch...
is only 20 too, and since her sister has just had a baby is also in the broody mood.

She wants to have a baby, and I quote, "Before you get to old". (meaning me)

Some of these ideas are classics!
(dchurch bah, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 16:38, Reply)

dchurch
I'm glad it's not just me in this situation! I will let you know if these ideas work.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 17:06, Reply)

Threaten
to invite Gary Glitter over to tea if she has babies
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 17:11, Reply)

HA HA
I might try that just because my b3ta brain says it will be funny, plus I will probably get kicked in the balls so hard I wont be able to have kids for a long time anyway!
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 17:17, Reply)

Or maybe
threaten to have babies for tea if she invites Gary Glitter?

*wanders off muttering about Albert Fish*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 18:10, Reply)

My mate
had this problem recently- he nipped it in the bud by suddenly starting to stay out til all hours, started taking coke and drinking much more, and generally showcasing himself as a terrible potential parent.

It's worked.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:25, Reply)