drinks first thing in the morning make your bladder weak
you can't hold half an orange juice down first thing, but by the afternoon you can guzzle litres of water, coke, coffee and never go for a single wazz.

alt: imagine how annoying it would be to live next door to that if it rained in the night. my ideal house would be old, with high ceilings and stripped floors and fireplaces, and it would have a library. i used to think i wanted a turret, but i've dealt with way too many claims about leaking turrets. fuck that nasty shit.

alt: too much work. but new york 2 weeks today, baby. 2 weeks!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:01, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Two weeks until i'm off for a whole day while you go to work

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:02, Reply)

imma work from home that day...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:04, Reply)

No you aren't

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:05, Reply)

onlocationtours.com/tour/sex-and-the-city/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:09, Reply)

NOPE

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:10, Reply)

haha! Sorry Meatsnake.
Cosmo's all round!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:17, Reply)

it's my birthday
he has to
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:21, Reply)

Fuck off, we're already having a whole day doing shit stuff that's ruining my holiday experience

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:22, Reply)

This sounds very scientific.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:03, Reply)

it's just fact
no idea why. it's annoying. i can never have a drink before leaving for work, or i end up cross-legged in the taxi/tube/street.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:04, Reply)

it's psychosomatic
because you hate your shitdull clerical job
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:28, Reply)

i like my job
it enables oiks like you to get paid, have a roof over your head, have your wife get paid whilst she shits out your crotchfruit, etc.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)

how does your clerical work have any effect on me?
we haven't employed lawyers for over twenty years

edit: except the proper dullwits who do conveyancing ... but I'm not even sure I'd call those shysters clerics
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:42, Reply)

I've said it several times before she'll be useless in the forthcoming apocalypse.

( Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:07, Reply)

no way
the flabby office drones will be an excellent food source during the nuclear winter
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:13, Reply)

Jealous!
I hope you're going on the SATC tour!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:04, Reply)

OH YES
we needed something to do after looking at the "friends" building. frog will be thrilled.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:04, Reply)

Which Friends character do you think he is most like?
He got a bit defensive about it when I asked him before.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:08, Reply)

he's gunther

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:08, Reply)

haha
yeah
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:13, Reply)

I don't know which one's which, I don't think I've ever watched a whole episode.
I'm the grumpy one with bowel cancer.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:10, Reply)

Poor dozer
You'd be grumpy too if you had to wear nappies all day.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:15, Reply)

wtfayoa?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:16, Reply)

i think he just called you dozer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:21, Reply)

I think he's trying to create a non-sanctioned meme

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:22, Reply)

Doesn't he realise all memes have to be signed off, stamped and claimed by Monty Boyce?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:24, Reply)

^ Mine

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Monty Boyce Richard McBeef
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:29, Reply)

McBeef mcbeef
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:29, Reply)

MC Beef AKA MC Beefy McBeef

( Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:39, Reply)

Dunno who that is soz

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:30, Reply)

No
Dozer has bowel cancer. I was implying meaty was having a pop at him.

God, it's so frustrating that you thick fucks don't get my brilliant jokes.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:24, Reply)

Errr, don't think he does mate. I was suggesting *I* had bowel cancer because of my stomach pains and blood belching anus.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:28, Reply)

I wouldn't worry. Take some paracetemol and get a few days rest.
These things usually clear up on their own.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:33, Reply)

yeah nice one dbt

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:39, Reply)

??

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:17, Reply)

SHUT THE FUCK UP JAYSUMS

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:05, Reply)

hahaha

( Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:06, Reply)

we can have cosmopolitans!!!
you can be miranda, she's got short hair!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:07, Reply)

NEU

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:10, Reply)

youtu.be/EAXYMOgHQI4
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:13, Reply)

YOU'RE WELCOME!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:17, Reply)