picked my car up from its service the other day
i was surprised that it hadn't needed new brake pads or anything else brake related, so i asked. the guy said, "nope, only 10% worn." i said, "but it hasn't had the brakes touched in ages," and he said....

"YOU MUST BE AN EXCELLENT DRIVER THEN."

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! CAR MECHANIC VALIDATION!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:37, 4 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

christ alive your life must be dull

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:39, Reply)

It's more likely because you live in London
and therefore never get above 8 miles per hour.
( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:40, Reply)

THIS

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:42, Reply)

spoilsport
this is literally the most exciting thing that's happened to get this year
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:44, Reply)

Someone should swap her tampons with party poppers to liven things up.

( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:45, Reply)

party popper? giant confetti canon more like

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:56, Reply)

if your kids' heads are as big as yours
it's not surprising this is what you think all cunts look like :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:01, Reply)

it's like you're actually making a conscious effort to be thick about everything

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:04, Reply)

on a satirical website
imagine that.

just imagine it.

oh yeah. you have no imagination.

as you were.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:06, Reply)

gotcha ... you're being "satirically" thick ... righto
and pretending not to know what "satirical" means is just a bit of meta-satire

cool
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:08, Reply)

the autist is strong in this one

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:11, Reply)

yeah
i should be taking kids to a festival and taking drugs, man. then back to a little boxy house with a shit garden and no job.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:53, Reply)

dunno who you're talking about, Glumbelina

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:54, Reply)

everyone else does

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:57, Reply)

yerr ... like anybody else reads your replies when you're in sulky tubefart mode

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:03, Reply)

my cab smelled like pineapple this morning
i don't really like pineapples. spiky little bastards.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:03, Reply)

literally nobody on earth cares about your journey to work

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:05, Reply)

better than your journey down the doley office

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:07, Reply)

prolly

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:09, Reply)

or....you don't use the car much
or since the average speed of traffic in London is sub 10 mph they never get used much.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:42, Reply)

it does a bit of round-town pootling
but mostly it gets long motorway journeys. nottingham this weekend.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:51, Reply)

Sorry. We're closed.

( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:52, Reply)

it's not even real nottingham
it's a suburb of nottingham.

:(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:53, Reply)

Ew. Which one?

( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:54, Reply)

west bridgford, apparently
we're going to watch them turn on the christmas lights, because my friend has shat out a crotchfruit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:57, Reply)

West Bridgford is alright.
Quit your moaning.
( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:01, Reply)

i've only been once before
it just looked like an estate of new houses, not too offensive.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:02, Reply)

There are some lovely old houses there, the new builds are all a bit meh.
If you've never been into the city centre, that's quite a sight to behold. A strange mixture of beautiful old buildings and sixties architecture clustered together.
( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:05, Reply)

i've been very drunk in a church that is now an allbarone or something
that was a bit of a head fuck.

especially when my very beautiful, absolutely tiny, friend let rip with a beer fart that managed to clear the area. given the height of the ceilings and the size of the space, that was quite some feat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:08, Reply)

I just looked out the window to check. Pitcher and Piano.
All Bar One is just around the corner.
( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:09, Reply)

p&p it was
i think we're more likely to be in a west bridgford garden centre these days, but i'll get her to blow a fart in your general direction anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:11, Reply)

I'll be elsewhere dealing with other christmas light switch ons this weekend.
Fucking no idea how they attract such crowds, they're tedious as hell and usually have some local radio DJ from the breakfast show being a lolwacky cunt.
( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:20, Reply)

^ this ^
the last time i went was to see the spice girls do it on regent street in the 90's.

i might be "late" so i miss the west bridgford one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:21, Reply)

The only time I would've enjoyed one was in the nineties.
Blue turned the lights on, and they caught fire.
( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:23, Reply)

Also as an aside
your car will have a brake pad sensor in it that will let you know when they are starting to get worn
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:13, Reply)

How do you know what model her daddy bought her?

( Muns, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:21, Reply)

i fucking wish
selfish git spending all his money on himself
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:22, Reply)

You've taken the silly old man for enough already treacs

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:31, Reply)

All mercs of that era have it

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 10:29, Reply)