Kitchen thread.
What couldn't you live without in your kitchen*

Alt:Kitchen gadgets, I hate most of them, but I do have a few that really are good, what's your best/worst kitchen gadget?

Alt:alt: Shit cook=1 or master chef like Gonz**=10, how do you rate yourself and why?


*cooker, fridge and a sink (with taps) is a given
**Maybe slightly wrong here
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:33, 139 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

My Instanta SVV18 sous vide digital water bath, blates.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:39, Reply)

NO BUDGIE CHAT

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:52, Reply)

I like Joseph Joseph and Alessi stuff where you can't even work out what the hell it is
And in answer to the tedious question that you didn't ask: Teaspoons, Forks, Spoons, Knives, Steak Knives front to back in that order.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:40, Reply)

The bread maker I own is just a very expensive air freshener TRUFAX

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:46, Reply)

bread makers are the teasmades of the 1990s
a vaguely convenient-sounding way of making a shit version of something that's already dead easy to make
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:47, Reply)

That's what I said.
But I do like to open up the door downstairs on a Sunday morning to the smell, then lob the offending article at a bunch of ducks.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:49, Reply)

Egg beat(s by Dr. Dre)er.
It's like poor quality £10 egg beater but costs fifteen times more because it is endorsed by a famous music producer.

The Jonathon King brand condoms are a bit small and cost a fucking fortune too.

Altalt: 5 - I can make reasonable food, but I wouldn't say it's anything to shout about.
( Muns, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:41, Reply)

HURRY UP YOU LITTLE SHITS YOUR POTATO WAFFLES ARE GOING COLD!

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:44, Reply)

Yeah, but Birdseye, otherwise it'd be a 3.
I even sing the advertising jingle when I take them out of the toaster.
( Muns, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:46, Reply)

How versatile

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:48, Reply)

can you still buy poptarts?

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:48, Reply)

Not sure.
I never did like them though, I think it was because I got my arse smacked when I set fire to one under the grill as a child.
( Muns, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:51, Reply)

Not sure but I'm guessing you could have a go on all the spice girls and still have change from £20

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:51, Reply)

I'd prolly have a go on all of them just for the opportunity to chuck some porridge up Scary's slacker

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:54, Reply)

She's not bad until you hear her voice

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:58, Reply)

'sOK ... I'll get her to bite down on Ginger's gnarled old lady fist

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:05, Reply)

this image has given me the strange horn

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:09, Reply)

A heston coffee machine lol

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:42, Reply)

lol

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:43, Reply)

Please tell me it does something extra special
like using the milk of a cat in cappucino mode?
( Muns, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:43, Reply)

He has the Charlton version it's pretty spartan

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:45, Reply)

Out of my flat white hand!

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:46, Reply)

hahaha that's a rather clever joke there shambles

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:11, Reply)

if you have to point this out
you're probably wrong
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:23, Reply)

I dunno m8 i cant stand that pod coffee stuff it's ick. A grinder and cafeteria should suffice

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:45, Reply)

Not to be confused with grindr when the outcome you're after in the morning is a nice coffee
along with some brown sludge from the things you did to get that coffee.
( Muns, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:48, Reply)

my laptop for researching restaurants
or my drinks fridge for keeping drinks icy cold.

if you're making me cook.... my wok, my chopping knife/alessi chopping board, and my le creuset baking dishes.

altalt: probably an average 7. i can cook savoury stuff quite well, but i don't think i've made a pudding/cake/biscuit since home ec at school.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:43, Reply)

I bet you could lay on a decent spead if only you wasn't such a foodwronger

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:44, Reply)

She'd probably score an 8 if she gave people the correct utensils to eat with.

( Muns, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:45, Reply)

Meat would probably help and all

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:46, Reply)

i cook meat for other people
i just don't want that nasty shit in my mouth
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:47, Reply)

yhpcciym

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:47, Reply)

the emotional scars from your liaison with chompy run very deep

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:49, Reply)

ha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:50, Reply)

alt: prolly my bread proving basket things ... whatever they're called

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:55, Reply)

best or worst?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:06, Reply)

thing I couldn't live without
In the sense that you can't really use anything else to do the same thing which you can with practically everything else
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:07, Reply)

I have a whole range of gadgets that I have been bought, only because I cook a lot.
Most take up far to much room, but I have a list of who has got me what so I put it out on display if ever they come round, my hand blender however is a godsend.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:12, Reply)

^spot the divorced bedsit dad

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:15, Reply)

If only a divorce taken that fast :(
They really need to update the whole process
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:16, Reply)

How many mugs did you get given by the landlord, when you moved to the bedsit?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:20, Reply)

Wait I could have gotten free mugs?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Haha, yoou MUG!

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:24, Reply)

most of my gadgets stay in my MASSIVE DRAWERS
(lol like fat lass knickers or sutin)
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:17, Reply)

I've had the same wok since I left home, that's served well over the years. Good knives are a must too.
We have a sushi maker that's never been used, ditto the George Forman fatty grill.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:16, Reply)

knives are like the speaker cables of the culinary world

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:18, Reply)

I have a really good chefs roll, if ever the zombie apocalypse happens that would be my weapon of choice

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:19, Reply)

We have a massive axe, it's great. Not for grub, firewood :((

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:21, Reply)

^ Been shown the landlord ropes by WeePee

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:23, Reply)

I reckon you want a couple of small axes for weaponry
Big wood-chopping axes are a bit unwieldy
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:23, Reply)

Especially since the useless cunt can't even light a fire

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:25, Reply)

I'm like a cross between Bear Grylls, and Fred Flintstone.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:27, Reply)

If ever the zombie apocalypse happens and I was given a choice between you or Nakers being on my team I would have to pause for a second to think about it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:30, Reply)

It will never happen and you're a tit for even mentioning it.
You're welcome
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:31, Reply)

Yeah you're probably right I wouldn't want Nakers on my team at all

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:34, Reply)

Team hare? Could do with a namechange tbh.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:37, Reply)

Pubic Hare.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:44, Reply)

Harey cornflakes?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:47, Reply)

Pair of fucking stupid cunts?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:48, Reply)

You're out the team, def.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:53, Reply)

Wait, with a head the size of his he may have some use

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:54, Reply)

Fun though!Looking at chainsaws at the moment.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:25, Reply)

I love my chainsaw
Brrrrrrm brrrrrrm!
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:38, Reply)

Yeah, my old fella has a Husqvarna. Are we allowed chainsaw chat?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:46, Reply)

better than fucking pots and pans and plimsolls

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:50, Reply)

Sure why not

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:53, Reply)

RENRENRENRENRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEENGNGNGNGNGGGGGGRENRENREN

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 16:03, Reply)

my brother swears by his george formby grill, apparently when you see the amount of fat that oozes out of it, it's quite off putting
i tell him there's no fat in chickpeas.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:25, Reply)

Might try it for a lovely thick steak.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:26, Reply)

he does salmon and tuna steaks on it too, i think
either that or he's just lying to me, as i bought it for him a few years ago. perfectly possible.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:27, Reply)

fuck that shit
it won't get nearly hot enough and the last fucking thing you want to do is drain the fat from it

Christ alive, man. I thought you were a doctor.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:39, Reply)

how do you know what he wants to do?
stop shoving your opinion down everyone else's throat like YM with a sailor's scabby cock.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:46, Reply)

why is it always syphilitic dicksucking with you?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:47, Reply)

poor meatsnake
/ac
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:48, Reply)

i'm practising for when you make it down to london

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:48, Reply)

pipe down, old mother bulimia

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:47, Reply)