Use the multifunction printer to scan in your fingers flicking the V's.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:13, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Going to do this I think.
They've just emailed me again to tell me that it's a temporary contract and they'll try and find me something longer term when it's up.

FUUUUUUCKKKKKKRIGHTOFF!
( Muns, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:16, Reply)

I especially like it when they demand more years experience in something than it has existed.
If I was capable of time travel I'd have bought a sports almanac and placed some bets.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:21, Reply)

I applied for a job that said 6 years Excel experience needed.
If you can't use excel after 6 months you're an idiot.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:22, Reply)

My biggest problem with excel is the ennui I feel when using it.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:24, Reply)

What's excel?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:29, Reply)

It's what your accountant will use to calculate how fucked your finances are before recommending bankruptcy.

( Muns, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:30, Reply)

He's already done a powerpoint on this.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:33, Reply)

oof

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:33, Reply)

that's like asking somebody for five years biro and pedal bin experience

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:29, Reply)

What's biro?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:33, Reply)

it's what bankrupt people use to sign onto the dole

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:34, Reply)

I've heard of this dole. Minimum wage stuff?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:36, Reply)

dunno
Think it's paid directly to William Hills
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:37, Reply)

I wonder if you could have a dole lottery.
£1 off everyone on the dole, and every 2 weeks one person gets the lot minus tax.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:39, Reply)

Not a bad idea tbh.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:43, Reply)

that's a shit idea and you're an idiot
/ac
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:44, Reply)

I think it could sort of work. Next time they increase the dole. Do it -£1, and then they have 26 millionaires a year.
take 10% of the winnings as "tax" and drop the cost of the dole by ~ £5million. Increase sales of Subarus, those gold plated apple watches and hot tubs.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:47, Reply)

Give the hopeless a little bit of hope.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:48, Reply)

They already willingly contribute a tenner of their dole a week to something called the national lottery.
Much the same thing.
( Muns, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:50, Reply)

I'm thinking it's for specifically the unemployed and someone will win it every 2 weeks.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:52, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2482275
( Muns, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:53, Reply)

I'd imagine some welfare recipients don't do the lottery, dock it at source.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:55, Reply)

It's not called dole now, but 'universal credit', dunno the difference.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:54, Reply)