On that kind of note....
I've just cleared out my laptop/paperwork/charger/fuckingeverythingelseIuse carry-on case. In it I found (at last) my victorinox multi-tool, which has several blades and pointy things in it. Strange thing is, it's been in there for at least a year, a year in which I've taken the case on a plane 12 times and the bag's been x-rayed 12 times.
So much for airport security
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:41, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

The real 'security' takes place behind a partition wall. It involves men with guns and surgical gloves.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:50, Reply)

on 9/13, travelling to Madrid I had in my wallet two Stanley craft knife blades, happy memories of outrageous and costly drung abuse

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:50, Reply)

my friend came back from the philippines with two enormous meat cleavers
to this day i bet she's never used them, for good or for evil
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:52, Reply)

in their back pocket and allowed in the passenger compartment?

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)

Last flight out of Stuttgart...
...They tested the screen of my (company issue) iPad* for drugs!

*Wouldn't buy one - overhyped piece of shit**


**Awaits snorts of derision and spittle-flecked harassment from the fanbois
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)

customs at Oslo always had it in for me. same guy every time and very annoying he was.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:07, Reply)