When I get calls to our support desk from cold calling companies I get them to say I'm dead
This normally stops a second call

Alt:
I most certainly probably have been, yes. I'm normally quite good at spotting them though

*buys magic beans*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 9:47, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

"Hello, I'd like to speak to your managing director."
"He's dead."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Who's the most senior person there?"
"It doesn't matter, we're about to commit mass suicide just after starting fires which will consume the building and all the evidence."
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 9:56, Reply)

*makes notes*
*drinks Koolaid*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 10:00, Reply)

I did think the bottle in the water cooler looked a bit different this mor

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 10:02, Reply)

KiaOresh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 10:03, Reply)

I went through a spell of getting loads of cold calls from recruitment charlatans at work
and eventually started telling them they'd phoned a synagogue.

I was slightly disappointed that none of them phoned back to offer me a bright young graduate rabbi.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 10:03, Reply)

+t

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 10:04, Reply)

My old flat inherited the old Port of Sunderland number
Every day I'd come in from work to find voicemails from ship captains asking where to park their boat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 10:28, Reply)

^euphamism alert^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 10:30, Reply)