So come on, how many of you logged in, only to see a dozer 'alright' thread and decided to log off and do something less boring instead?
Alt: What do you want for Christmas?
You can't all have my mum, the woman is getting on a bit now and I need her to make my Christmas lunch.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:42, 76 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

If everyone logged out to do something less boring instead they wouldn't be able to read this question, you stupid prick.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:42, Reply)

This.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:43, Reply)

Not really.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:43, Reply)

Blanked LOLZ.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:43, Reply)

A proper mum would not cook vegetarian filth on Christmas Day.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:44, Reply)

She appreciates a good stuffing.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:45, Reply)

There's usually a couple of types, yes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:48, Reply)

And spit roasting

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:48, Reply)

I think she uses a fan-assisted oven.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:49, Reply)

She usually cooks a small turkey for my father and his mother to eat, but given that nearly everyone else attending will be vegetarian, she'd be failing her duties more if she didn't cook any vegetarian filth.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:48, Reply)

Your family sounds shit mate
Except your dad and his ma. Bet the place fucking stinks by the end what with all the vegetarian farts.
( Peej, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:52, Reply)

I'm logged in all the time, maaaaan.
Doesn't mean I'm going to reply to a dozer "alright" thread though.

Alt: I'm torn between something sensible for the new house and a new cable for my Sennheiser cans. But can't we compromise and have your mum FOR Christmas lunch? God knows, she likes a good stuffing.
( .Yeti., Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:49, Reply)

I don't know why you think an almost 72 year old woman would make a suitable Christmas lunch

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:08, Reply)

I hope a spooky ghost with a hook hand kills dozer and hangs him upside down from a tree.
Alt.

Dear Father Christmas

This year for Christmas I would like...

A blowjob
A bit of peace and quiet
A slap up meal
Enough booze to kill an elephant

I have been a very good boy all year I promise

Your Friend

Peej
( Peej, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:54, Reply)

this upsets me greatly
i am very very upset

keyword - upset
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:55, Reply)

stop mod editing my posts!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:55, Reply)

^upset

( Peej, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 10:05, Reply)

hands him upside down

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 10:15, Reply)

Father Christmas doesn't exist soz
it was your wife all along and there's no way she's going to agree to everything on your list
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 8:59, Reply)

Alright, so how many logged back in, having previously logged out because of dozer's 'alright' thread, only to see a tangledupinblue thread with hardly any replies and thought 'fuck this', logged out again and have requested via the mail us form that your
account be deleted and have started making plans to kill yourselves and your families?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:06, Reply)

upset

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:19, Reply)

I'm not upset, I'm just angry.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:20, Reply)

I'm thinking about getting a National resonator

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:37, Reply)

for christmas, I mean

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:39, Reply)

Let's face it, you don't get fucking presents when you're older do you
You buy them for yourself then someone puts their bloody name on the tag. At least you get shit you want though.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:39, Reply)

In many ways this is a better system

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:40, Reply)

It is really
but god knows I drop enough hints throughout the year.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:41, Reply)

I keep a long list of records that I would like to own but have pointed out to mrs tangle that there really is no point in buying me a present, but if she absolutely must get me something, then buy one of them.
She nearly always gets me something else.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:48, Reply)

I told my Mum one year that I wanted Calvin Klein pants
They're a bit dear, I said, so one pair is perfectly fine. I'd rather one pair of decent knickers to 5 pairs of cheap ones.

Christmas morning....5 pack of Calvin Classics. Cheers.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:55, Reply)

Ok this has got a bit weird now you are telling me about your underpants

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:56, Reply)

'Good' weird?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:56, Reply)

What's the awkward one?
That one.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:57, Reply)

that's a shame

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:58, Reply)

Have you been a good boy?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:39, Reply)

I'm always good
In fact, I can't remember the last time I was bad.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:40, Reply)

can't remember would rather not talk about
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:41, Reply)

I can't think of any good reason why you shouldn't

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:39, Reply)

I've wanted a resonator for ages, and considered getting a cheap one
but I really shouldn't buy any more cheap crap. It's false economy.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:40, Reply)

So it's agreed then, you'll get yourself a National Resonator for Christmas

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:57, Reply)

Well that was easy!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:59, Reply)

I'll be back to help with the post count full time in a few months I reckon.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:39, Reply)

Getting sacked, or having more babies?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:40, Reply)

Fewer work hopefully

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 9:42, Reply)

Yeah, I want and posted on talk.
Even frank is better than a dozer thread.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Nov 2015, 10:07, Reply)

woah

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Nov 2015, 10:16, Reply)