I have man flu
Does anyone know how to rig up a rudimentary life support machine using the following things I have in reach:

Tissues
My phone
A lot of USB cables
An empty Pringles tube
A spare Samsung battery
A PS3 controller
A metal toothpick
A bongo drum

Any help would be most appreciated.
(GONEism, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 20:48, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh noes!
Man flu!

You need 20mg of your mummies love and a lemsip.
( girlinthehole, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 20:50, Reply)

Spicy noodle soup
and lots of lemsip
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 20:58, Reply)

Man flu
Does not exist.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 22 Oct 2008, 21:02, Reply)

You don't
exist.
(GONEism, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 21:04, Reply)

Oh, c'mon
it doesn't exist. There are "reported" cases only in England (what a coincidence) and all the doctors will tell you it's just a cold (not even flu)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 22 Oct 2008, 21:07, Reply)

Yes
Flu = cannot type on b3ta

This is the sort of man-flew you have:


( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 21:09, Reply)

Yes, I do!
Throw all of those things away, apart from the tissues.

Then neck some whisky. About three fingers should do it.

Job done.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 21:10, Reply)

It IS true!
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE
(GONEism, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 21:24, Reply)

Well
your answer lies within that clip. Call 999.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 21:35, Reply)

This one is much better
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuVBfdEZajY&NR=1
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 22 Oct 2008, 21:51, Reply)

I've heard that if you shove all of them up your anus it'll make you feel better.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 21:55, Reply)

I've heard
that you were funny. Or was it a cunt, no it was funny, or possibly a cunt, but it might have been funny, or a cunt, or funny.

Or a cunt.

Funny.


Cunt.


Funny.


Cunt.


Funny.


Cunt.


Funny.


Cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:29, Reply)

Here we have it
happylittletulip recommends three fingers.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:27, Reply)

This Works.
One big bottle of concentrated lemon juice.
I big bottle of whiskey. Don't get an expensive malt - a cheap blended whiskey will do.
1 bottle paracetamol
A kettle filled with water.
A half pint glass.
Bowl of sugar.


Fill glass half full of whiskey.
Add generous squeeze of lemon.
Top up with boiling water
Add two spoons of sugar
Stir and neck it down in one with a couple of paracetamols.

Sleep...
Wake
Repeat until flu has gone.

Doing this I can keep asleep for almost two days and, when I wake, the flu has gone.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 2:26, Reply)

You
copied that straight out of The Lancet.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 4:45, Reply)

Cider...

I don't have any idea whether or not it will help your man flu...

But it's yummy...therefore I recommend it for any situation.

Dr Pooflake holds his daily surgeries in the Red Lion, Walsgrave...from about 7:30pm...until he is forcibly removed from the premises.

7:45
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 23 Oct 2008, 8:43, Reply)

Man flu
man flu is a term invented by women for what men have when said women think they are over-reacting and milking a minor illness

by being a man and saying that you have man flu you are saying that you are faking it.

men who say they have man flu piss me off.

also, while we are on the subject: flu = cold-like symptoms most likely coupled with being bed-ridden for a few days, possibly with high fever and hallucinations etc.

not having a cold
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 8:54, Reply)

Vipros
Is right. Why do you call it flu when it's just a cold? If it was flu you wouldn't be able to write or even think properly.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 23 Oct 2008, 9:31, Reply)

I find it often has to do with being under-nourished
I always make a spicy seafood soup with chillis, ginger, garlic, lime. It will make you sweat and your eyes might even bleed if you do it right but it kills 99% of all known germs - DEAD!!!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Just coming out the other side
Felt it coming on at work Monday lunchtime.

took to bed at 5.30pm

got up 6pm yesterday.

My advice - watch plenty of crap daytime tv, take paracetamol, sleep as much as you can and ride it out. It's a short one. My daughter had it first and she was the same
(MadBouncyDog Barking at the moon since, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 13:26, Reply)