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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Is it snow? Sleet? Or rain?
I don't really care. My office is warm and the phones are quiet. Happy days.

How the hell are you?

Served by robot hamsters
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:04, 309 replies, latest was 17 years ago)
Why am I even awake?
I've dragged my sorry arse out of bed and I am going to work.

I'm not well.

*self pities*
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:12, Reply)
Pissing Down
here in Melbourne...

Cheers
(I helped save b3ta! Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:16, Reply)
ugh
*pities warmfuzzy* there y'are :)

Dayum, oh what I wouldn't give for 3pm!

Morning team.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:18, Reply)
Bonjour No3l & Fuzzy
I'm in a taxi at the moment, running slightly late as usual!

Sorry to hear your not feeling well WFF, get better soon!

Edit: Morning darras.

Edit2: and Legless! I must be more tired than I thought. Nice bit of vitriol at JMG there by the way.
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:18, Reply)
Ning folks!
Bill, are you still at the highest point of the EU?

*offers tea and mini-rolls*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:26, Reply)
how the hell
do I tell my lovely, sweet, sensitive boss man there that his incessant whistling over the last few months is driving me to twitchy madness which may well turn to violent homicidal tendancies without upsetting him?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:27, Reply)
oo tea!
snazzy :D Thanks, that's just perfect!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:28, Reply)
Good morning, all!
I hope we're all good today (albeit, a little cold!)

I just want to promote my QOTW post here:

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post326691

It's quite scary.
(The Stig, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:28, Reply)
I am No3l
Till Saturday.

*Takes mini roll*

Thanks.
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:31, Reply)
*is nice and warm*
*and smug*

darras - nice to meet you!

Just tell him about the whistling. Try and be diplomatic. Something like: as much as it's nice that you announce your happiness with the world using your tuneful pursed-lipped output, one day it's going to drive me to take my keyboard and place it neatly in your windpipe.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:33, Reply)
Morning all
While I think this weeks qotw has potential for some excellent answers it is making me think about religion which makes me very, very angry. Arse.

Still, it's Friday so I shouldn't be moaning too much!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:39, Reply)
Morning V
I have a couple of stories for this week, which is a massive improvement on last - one I really don't want to post and another which is probably quite shit.

I might actually pander to the /talkers and make something up.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:42, Reply)
Am I on ignore?
No seems to be talking to me..... :O(
(The Stig, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:47, Reply)
Same here no3l
I'm going to post my non funny, non extreme one later today. The one I'm really ashamed about will take a little while to write up. If I'm going to make myself look like a cunt I'm at least going to have it (reasonably) well written.

By the way, has anybody seen the stig lately? Bit of a twat aint he?

Oh...Hai Stig! =p
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:50, Reply)
Hey Folks
How are we this morning.

Hope you finally managed to track down some beer last night bill!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:51, Reply)
Morning
all. This QOTW is a bit difficult for me. I'm sure I've done lots of things worthy for a ticket to hell, just remembering all of them will be tough.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:52, Reply)
argh!
fiddled on tax!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:52, Reply)
Hi Captain V!
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me!

Please read my QOTW post!!!!

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post326691
(The Stig, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:53, Reply)
Thanks Stig
didn't see it just up the thread there.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:54, Reply)
I did get a beer in the end thanks BK
A mahusive 330ml can of Heineken!

Still it was enough to put me to sleep after a long day.

As for this question I don't know where to start, while I think I'm basically good I've done some fucked up shit in my time.
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:56, Reply)
Internet Explorer? My home?
I sincerely hope not... lol

Mornin' all :-) I'm on holiday next week, woo! I've used the "If I don't tell anyone who doesn't need to know, they wont notice" trick of making sure my inbox doesn't steam in panic this week. I recommend it.

But there have been a few sneak attacks. I'm unlikely to get out unscathed.

Wish me luck...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:58, Reply)
@Darras
That sucks. I need to go to the tax office myself to work out why they're taxing me differently every month.

@Stig I'm a charmer me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:59, Reply)
@ bill
Me too. Witness

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post326341

Shouldn't really pimp my disgusting behaviour but I actually poured my heart into this one.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:00, Reply)
That wasn't too bad there BK
Like most said you seemed to be mostly doing the right thing.
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:10, Reply)
Thanks Capt. V
suuucks. December pay in norway is supposed to be half tax. They ran mine through at full.. So Im missing £360 which I aint getting back until the tax return in June..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:12, Reply)
Yo ho ho M'hearties
I've got a post for you all.

In difference to BKs post, I know I'm doing the wrong thing. BUT I LIKE IT.

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post326745
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:15, Reply)
Well, if we're pimping
www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post326707
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:17, Reply)
jim, no3l
liking your work

BK: don't think you did anything shameful either. you were in a fucked up place, and so was paula, and as others have said, you didn't have the both stringing along at the same time.

things could've ended worse all round
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:20, Reply)
I was going to pretty
much say what Vipros said BK.

From what I read, it's not like you really had any choice, you did the right thing in the situation.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:22, Reply)
Good morning all
My nomination for b3tan of the year goes to:

Legless

That is all.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:22, Reply)
I'd say Al is doing the best job
consistant troll-killing all week.

*gives Al a free gift*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)
Morning all
You lot having fun this morning, I'm not, still frozen after an hour of sitting in my office with the heating on!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:30, Reply)
Hey Dok
*proffers ice lollies*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:33, Reply)
Good mornin' everybody
How is everyone? How is Lil' Kaol? Has he cooperated for the camera yet?

Is it me, or is it absolutely bollock-cold this morniong?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:33, Reply)
I'm at work.
And I was working 'til half two last night.
So I got home at 4.
And had to get up for work at half seven.

I either need a gram of coke, a quadruple espresso or a nap.

Anyway, moan over.
G'morning :)

I've got several good things today...
Not much work to do.
An excellent QOTW to read *coughs*
And a date tonight :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)
Hey PJM
You're right, my testicles have tried to hibernate like a sumo wrestler's.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)
@Boss Keloid
You can write. You can really write...

*doffs cap*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)
Thanks for reminding me
About tonight Kaol.

*tarts up*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:35, Reply)
*gratefully accepts free gift*

Awwww, thanks Vipros.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:35, Reply)
*puts fingers in ears*
*hides in lead-lined fridge*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:36, Reply)
Thanks PJM
That's really sweet of you!

*beams*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:36, Reply)
V
Thanks, but I don't think it'll melt. It will be warmer than me though!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:38, Reply)
Hang on
this isn't a free gift, Vipros has just tied a bow around a small thermonuclear device.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:39, Reply)
*Sends story out to the corner*
www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/#qotw-post-326787
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)
*laughs*
Oh V, you card!

This is an actual date with a lady.
*worries*

*resolves not to drink too much*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)
Kaol
you should impress her with her far you can make your vomit go!

And also with your demonstration on how boozy vomit freezes at a certain temperature. :)

Score!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:41, Reply)
Ooooh a date Kaol!
Good luck!
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:41, Reply)
@ Kaol
A date? Good luck with that fella!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:42, Reply)
*sniggers*
Kaol: I demand that on your date you refer to yourself in the third person as Special K
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)
Yes!
What Vipros said, third person for the entire evening.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:46, Reply)
Special K would like to buy you a drink now.
Haha!
I like it! Special K likes it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:47, Reply)
A Date Kaol
Nice one, hope it goes well for ya!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:49, Reply)
We shall see...
I'm not massively enthusiastic about it, but... *shrugs*
Better than getting drunk in front of the computer, haha!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:53, Reply)
Mmmmm
Special K is putting it in now.

Special K is getting close now.

Special K must have done, he just dropped his chips.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:54, Reply)
what?
who are you and what have you done with Kaol?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:54, Reply)
Silliness aside
Good luck with the date kaol. I've got one myself on Sunday =D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:55, Reply)
Yes you do Captain.
I've been waxing myself especially.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)
@ V
And good luck to you as well!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)
Al
Surely that would be better as Lil K
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)
@Al
*imagines*

*spluffs*

:edit: Edited for clarity and thanks for the good luck!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)
*crashes through the door*
Morning all!

I have the work's Christmas party from 1pm, then another party afterwards. I've had an apple for breakfast, and I can feel the lurgy creeping in.

In other words, I may not survive today.

And before anyone asks, no you can't have my stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)
@Lab
If I can't have your stuff can I have your corpse?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:57, Reply)
@ Lab
Can I have your mohawk?

V. You can have everything else.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:59, Reply)
I want his delicious
Non-smoked lungs :D

Woo!

Special K is most pleased.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:00, Reply)
Hmmm
Smoke me some lungs I'll be back for breakfast?

/boggle
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)
Can I have
his penis?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)
Can I
Have the rest of his body? Mines getting on a bit now and I could do with a younger model!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)
Al, you can have mine :)
After tonight turns into a terrible disaster of severed limbs, spurting blood, screaming and too much vodka.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)
OK
BK gets the mohawk, Kaol can have my lungs, Al can (gladly) have my penis, and Dokk and V can fight over the remains.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:09, Reply)
I always wondered what
The "V" stood for.

Vulture.
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:10, Reply)
Morning everyone.
Just a quick hello.
So hello :)

Happy Friday!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:14, Reply)
Hello Lusty!
How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:17, Reply)
*In an awful fake accent I should be getting sent to hell for*
Happy Friday to you,
Biryani and Vindaloo,
Shall we eat it here or eat it take away?
Happy Friday to you!
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:18, Reply)
Hi Lusty!

*waves frantically*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:20, Reply)
Hello Lab
I'm ok.
It hasn't been the best week ever.
I'm not meant to be here so I'll be making a swift exit now.

Have a good weekend all!

*wanks waves back at al*
*hugs everyone else*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:20, Reply)
morning all
I have coffee and money on my desk. I am happy.

how are you?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:22, Reply)
I think me and Bert
have just broken up.

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post326643#qotw-post-326893

down at the bottom.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:26, Reply)
Hi Lusty
Al don't feel too bad, I'm sure the two of you will make up.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:33, Reply)
Oh fuck the lot of you
Why do you all bugger off whenever I post!?

edit - Phew! Dok is here.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:34, Reply)
*waves at Tulip*
Oh God al, I'm so sorry to hear that! You were always far too good for him anyway, he doesn't deserve you!

*hugs al just a little bit too long*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:35, Reply)
Sorry Tulip
I didn't see you there, with the teary Al and all!

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:37, Reply)
Hello Lusty and Tulip
*huggles*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)
As all the cool kids are doing it
*pimps*

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post326908
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)
*wanders in*
Like, whatever...can't be bovvered.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)
Yo Clenders
wassup dawg? You is like, bangin' hot today Ai!?

Word.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:42, Reply)
Shizzle ma nizzle, Al,
I sure is like bangin' hot.

Actually, I am slumped at my desk in an apathetic pile.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:47, Reply)
Hi Clendrix!
Sorry, I can't speak street like Al, I'm more cul-de-sac.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:47, Reply)
Hi Labs.
I like cul-de-sac. It makes it easier to find you.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:48, Reply)
CU
That sounds like an awesome morning! I'm now craving junk food too. Battered sausage and chips with a battered mars bar for desert *drools*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:48, Reply)
Yeah me too.
B3ta has been the only thing getting me through work this last week.

You people need to post more. I get bored easily.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:48, Reply)
Sounds like you're in there CU
Plus I'm jealous of your breakfast

*Tummy Rumbles*
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:49, Reply)
I intend to waste my entire day here today.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:49, Reply)
I need help deciding what to make for dinner tonight
I want prawns, so I'm thinking some kind of lemony prawn risotto, or jambalaya

thoughts?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:50, Reply)
I've had four cups of coffee
So far today.
*twitches*

I've just gotta get through today, then it's the weekend.
My brother's turning 18 tomorrow...
10 points if anyone can guess what I've got him...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)
HI Drixy
Vipros the jambalaya, and when it's done could you send some to me please?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)
Morning Miss Clendrix
I'll also be here all day, make them entertain us!
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:53, Reply)
Oh toffee crisps
*goes weak at the knees*

I fully intend to own a deep fat fryer at some point in my life to test out theories such as that one. Heart attacks taste goooood.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:53, Reply)
Vipros
I second the Jambalaya! Although, my Da' does a lovely prawn starter where they're served in sizzling hot garlic and chilli oil *drools*

I can feel myself becoming more and more ill. This will NOT do!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:55, Reply)
@ Kaol I've had
I've had 3 coffees and two teas thus far.

*has shakes*

Did you buy him something sharp?
Something alcoholic?
A hooker?
a stripper?
An alcoholic hooker stripper?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:55, Reply)
Kaol
I get all ten fucking points cos I was there when you bought it :)

Bill, I watched some of the EU summit and thought of you.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Oh CU
You've stolen my heart, dipping a toffee crisp in coffee, *glees*

I'm about to get coffee no.5 *sings*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:59, Reply)
Make sure it's not cold when you eat it
Toffee crisps are so much better when soft and gooey.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:59, Reply)
Kaol
I reckon you've got him a knife, and you've had it engraved.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:59, Reply)
Have any of you lot
tried a Tim Tam Slam?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:00, Reply)
Labs
He's presenting it in the rib cage of a gift-wrapped hooker.

Al - I've tried a Tim Tam, but not in a Slam.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:02, Reply)
No Drixy
That's cheating!

V So many things are better when they are soft and gooey!

No Al I can't say I have!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)
@Al
No, but I know what it is because I saw Natalie Imbruglia do one on the Graham Norton show once.

*fwaps at the memory*
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)
In fact do you know what a Tim Tam is?
It's an austrlian chocolate biscuit, similar to a Penguin, but nicer and they come in a few varieties. You can occasionally get them over here.

A Tim Tam Slam is where you nibble off two opposite corners of the biscuit, then use it as a straw to suck a hot cup of tea through, then, once you have sucked tea all the way through it, you have ot cram the whoe thing into your mouth before it collapses into a soggy mess and it's quite yummtastically gorgeous.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)
CU
Isn't a Tim Tam more like a Penguin?

Not that I've ever tried one, but that's my memory.

edit: Ah, it is. Thanks Al
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)
Lab, you're right!
Did I tell you when I was drunk?

Also, Clendrix gets 20 points. For going knife shopping with me :D

EDIT: Yes, I've had a Tim-Tam Slam. It was like sex in my mouth. A-fuckin'-mazing.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:06, Reply)
I've succeeded with both kit kat and kit kat chunky
they make good straws. you have to suck pretty hard though.

not as hard as with those nesquik straw things though!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:07, Reply)
Clendrix
gets 20 extra points. Just for being hot.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:07, Reply)
I loved it!
I even bought myself a knife (of sorts) for the office.

Yay! 40 points for me to do with as I wish!
*blushes a bit*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:08, Reply)
Kaol
Nope, I remember you mentioning the other day that you were picking something up from the engravers.

I r teh detective.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:10, Reply)
Lab gets 10 bonus points
for his mad detectiving skillz.

Watch out people, I'm a crazy points doler outer today.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:13, Reply)
Wooo points!!
*is the happiest he's ever been*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:14, Reply)
Labs
Very impressive.

*is scared of Labs's remembering skills*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:14, Reply)
Well done Lab!
*grins*

It's awesome, as presents go!
And I'll get him a bottle of decent Vodka too, he's a lot like me in some respects.

Just bigger :|

EDIT: Al, stop it! We'll go into hyper-points-inflation, and then they'll be worthless :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:14, Reply)
Mmmmmmm
Tunnocks Caramel Wafer, my second favorite biscuit, and I've just been dipping my first favorite biscuit into my coffee.

I love ginger nuts, they're the king of biscuits!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)
And cuter.
*giggles*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)
Clendrix
I wouldn't be too worried, I only remember random things.

I'm terrible at remembering people's names, for example.

Edit: Right, I'm off to rob Boots for drugs, back soon!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)
*gets out his ginger nuts*
Here Dok, feast on these.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:17, Reply)
Oi!
Less of that, Ms. Clendrix!
And he's not going grey... *cries*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:17, Reply)
Does he also try to snog everyman he meets?
Hang on, doesn't this mean that there ARE two kaols?

*runs*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:18, Reply)
We've got dark chocolate Tunnucks Caramel Wafers
They are fucking win in oblong shaped form.

Kaol, you can have 5 points for having a cute brother. But you'll have to make sure Clenders doesn't ruin him.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:19, Reply)
Captain V,
He's quite a bit taller than me, less stabby and about 80% more cocky.

And he got the brains, he's fucking clever :(

EDIT: But he can't hold his drink, haha!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:21, Reply)
can I just point out that this Home Sweet Home thread
is on page 69 of the Off Topic question?

Mmmmmmm, 69.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:23, Reply)
DUDE!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:24, Reply)
Yeh, and he's cute.
(I may have said that before.)


He's got a long way to go before he wins, though.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:25, Reply)
Pffft!
I'm too old for you, am I?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:27, Reply)
Al look at that!
*points at Vs ginger nuts*

*steals dark chocolate Tunnucks Caramel Wafers
*

Omnomnomnomnomnomnom!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)
A long way to go Clendrix?

*insert your own joke about the length of both Kaols brothers penis and distance to Clendrixs cervix*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)
Kaol,
I am not going to comment on my regard for you here with everyone looking.

Al, I'm not looking to get arrested, thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:34, Reply)
Is he very young?
like 12 or seven?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:36, Reply)
Ok...
It's alright, I know how you feel.
Deep down inside.

EDIT: That sounds like a statement of pure, carnal filth.
It wasn't intended to be :|

EDIT 2: Al, he's 18 tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)
I have returned!
I'm now glugging Nirolex with a beer chaser. The Marketing dept. gave me a bottle of Becks on the way in.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:42, Reply)
Wasn't it?
*cries with disappointment*

Al, he's much too young. Poor bastard - it'd be so wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:44, Reply)
You liar Kaol
You're pure carnal filth in leather packaging.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:44, Reply)
He is pretty filthy, Al.
That's why I tend to look to you for guidance...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:47, Reply)
Aw
This is a lovely thread today. I'm just sitting in the corner feeling all the love!

*feels the love*

Nice one Lab, do you think they'd give me one if I asked nicely?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)
Dokk
I'm sure they would, they're actually rather lovely. Well, all except one, who I'd happily shoot in the face.

That's it, no funny, witty or extravagant and painful torture. Simply me, one gun, his face. Boom.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:49, Reply)
Cheers Lab
I'll be there in thirty seconds. I really could do with a beer!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:51, Reply)
Wooooo!
I've just been offered a ticket to see The Mighty Boosh on Monday :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:52, Reply)
Well Kaol
I hope things get better for you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:56, Reply)
Hi guys...
Having a three day weekend truly is brilliant. By the way- don't let JMG get to you, he's just trying to wind you up, and from what I can see it seems he's doing a fantastic job...

Not that I condone what he's doing, but the ignore button is there for a reason, folks.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:57, Reply)
Eh?
Not a fan, Dok?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:58, Reply)
I would say
that JMG isn't actually winding anyone up, well, I think he winds up Gloria Hull, but virtually everyone else likes responding to him becuase it's funny watching him trot out the same lines over and over thinking he's being hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:59, Reply)
that's just the thing piston
he's not actually winding us up. he's just dull.

same weak comments every time he comes on here. and you get all his sycophants regurgitating the same stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:02, Reply)
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
There are other threads for this stuff!

Kaol, where's that then? The village hall?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:05, Reply)
JMG
Agreed, I'm not wound up by him, far from it, I'm just bored.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:05, Reply)
I'm processing a payroll for a well known musical entertainment establishment...
...and I've been handed a list employees and job titles to import.

One of the orchestral staff has the job title "Senior Horn".

fnar fnar
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:06, Reply)
It's at Wembly Arena :D
I saw Bill Bailey there in the summer, t'was good :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:07, Reply)
Heh heh heh
Orchestras are filthy.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:07, Reply)
*joins an orchestra*

Kaol, nice one! I'm never sure if I really like The Mighty Boosh, but when it's on TV, I can't stop watching it.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:09, Reply)
Nope Kaol
It makes me want to stab people in the eye!

A bit like The Green Wing!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:09, Reply)
Fair enough!
I don't have a problem with people not liking stuff :p

A film-question:
Punisher: Warzone is meant to be out. Why can't I find any cinema that's showing it?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)
althegeordie
He's posting the same old each and every time and he simply cannot cope with a woman standing up to him. It speaks volumes about his social inadequacy.

I feel like I'm kicking a small child, but I find it funny

You guys however have it down to a fine art. It's poetic.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:12, Reply)
Becasue with a title like that
it's clearly a straight to video release.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:12, Reply)
@gloria
I hope that didn't come across like I was having a dig, I wasn't, it's just your responses often look like your getting annoyed.

That said, the thread you were on last night was very funny and didn't look like that at all.

I'll just eat these words right here then shall I? Carry on people.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:16, Reply)
Er...
It's got a budget of $35 Million...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punisher:_War_Zone
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:17, Reply)
@Gloria
You shouldn't rise to it you know, it only encourages them.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:17, Reply)
When's its release date?
It's not showing in London.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:18, Reply)
Kaol
I can't see a UK release date on it!

Gloria, I do like the way you talk rings around the poor child. He's like listening to a stuck record.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:20, Reply)
According to IMDB
it's not got a UK release date yet. It wasn't mentioned in this months Empire either. I would suspect that since it's had it's US release this month it'll be released over here in January or so.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:21, Reply)
It's not released in some places in Europe until Feb or March.
You'll just have to be patient.

Is everyone sitting around waiting patiently?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:22, Reply)
Oh :(
Thank you though, my beautiful research team!

Half an hour 'til lunch...
*wills time away*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:29, Reply)
Kaol
I only did that because I want to see it as well!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)
*grins*
It should be interesting!

Are there any more good films coming out this year?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:34, Reply)
Not many for the rest of this year
Really only The Day The Earth Stood Still! But there are a few next year!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:36, Reply)
The Day The Earth Stood Still...
I'm semi-tempted.
Although it's got that shop-mannequin in the lead role...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:37, Reply)
Kaol
I think Punisher is tentatively scheduled for January over here.

Can't remember where I heard that mind.

Edit: Oh, I didn't see Al said the same. Unless my memory is like a goldfish and that is actually where I got it from.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:40, Reply)
Thanks Scarpe :)
I dunno why they've re-booted the franchise though, I liked Thomas Jane as Frank Castle.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)
Yeah, but I think he'll be good as Klaatu!
*hopes they haven't ruined it*

Oh, and g'noon everyone. I am lonely today, no-one in th'office but me.

Question - anyone know any good rock versions of Christmas songs?

*passes around blackjacks and fruit salads and flumps*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)
Ming mongs all
well some of you anyway ,)

I'm at college waiting to do some diagnostic tests, but has internet access, so it's all good.

How is everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:48, Reply)
Hi DIT & Becky!
I'm good, just whiling away the hours flitting between here and my book.
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:50, Reply)
G'ft'noon
DiT and Ms. JSBX!

Ten minutes 'til lunch, thank fuck for that :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:50, Reply)
Good to know :)
Why do you have a russian visa Bill? A broken Ipod I can only applaud though I'm afraid, best thing for them ,)

Hi Kaol *smooshes*
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:52, Reply)
It looks like
They've made it into a remake of ID4 if you ask me, and I'm not getting into the mannequin again!

Hi DiT and Becky, I'm good thanks, yourselves?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:54, Reply)
Oh, Becky...
iPods are win, everyone knows that!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:55, Reply)
Woo, smooshes!
Made my day that did :D

My coffee levels are dropping, I'm going for a double espresso for lunch.
And I got paid today :D
I love Fridays!

Today is going really well, in fact, best day in ages!
Although I'm not seeing any b3ta-folk tonight :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:56, Reply)
More win than my creative zen W DiT?
I'll give you a moment to google it and collectively cream your pants before replying ,)

Edit: Awesome, glad you're having a good day Kaol :) *smooshes again for luck*

Hi Dok, pretty good thanks, how goes it?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:56, Reply)
You're an anti-social bitch, Kaol.
And Becky? You're lovely.
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:57, Reply)
I don't see any b3ta-folk asking me out on dates,
So I have to take these chances where I can get 'em :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:58, Reply)
My Visa
I'm off to Moscow for a couple of weeks at the start of January for work, should be fun but freezing!

Edit: The creative is too big and the navigation is awkward!
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:58, Reply)
Our date slipping around in the mud meant nothing to you.
*cries*

Oh Bill, take me with you!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:59, Reply)
You went slipping around in mud and didn't invite me?
cunts the pair of you.

ooh enjoy Bill.

After last night and the little sleep I got inbetween, i'm chilling and sleeping tonight
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:01, Reply)
That was lovely, fair point!
*grins*

Becky, we went to Epping forest, sorry :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:02, Reply)
We did slip!
Well, I did and I squealed a lot.

/end
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:02, Reply)
I intend to
By the way, could anyone recommend any intro to russian books? I don't need to know much, just the basics. Please, thank you, vodka, tobacconist, etc.
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:03, Reply)
I didn't slip,
But I'm as rural as it gets.
Like a human Land Rover :p

Well, I'm off for lunch, see you lovely folks later!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:04, Reply)
Is there no Russian for dummies?
or take your iphone and use babelfish to keep them entertained :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:05, Reply)
@ bill
Shto te dilliaesh v Voscrasenye?

That's all I can remember (roughly phonetic)
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:07, Reply)
Babelfish:
I'm convinced that the Babelfish people respond in the foreign equivalent of I can Haz Cheezeburger just to amuse the locals!
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:07, Reply)
Bill
There's a translator app for the iPhone...

(Although its grasp of Danish is somewhat, er, crap. So maybe not brilliant for the Ruskis...)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:08, Reply)
BK
What's that then?
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:08, Reply)
Exactly
so you can speak to them and keep them entertained at the same time :)

Hey there actually is a Russian for dummies!
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:09, Reply)
I just remembered
we were in the pub with our neighbours last night, we've been to the pub quiz with them a few times but we're still in the "getting to know each other" zone. So making jokes about being a child molestor could have gone down rather badly. Luckily it seems they have a similar sense of humour.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:10, Reply)
Cool Becks, thanks.
*Disappears to Amazon for 5 minutes*
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:11, Reply)
5/7
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7779298.stm

Better than my usual dismal performance.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:17, Reply)
Becky
Fine thanks!

Bill, are you coming on the 20th because I'll bring a couple of books for you to look at if you want?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:22, Reply)
4/7
I've got smarts me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:22, Reply)
4/7
not so good.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:23, Reply)
Whoring my latest post!
Here you go
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:25, Reply)
I am Dok
That'd be great if it's not too much trouble.
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:28, Reply)
I got a pathetic 1/7
*hangs head*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:30, Reply)
Dok
That's an awesome story.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:32, Reply)
Dok - You are a bad bad man!
*Clicks*
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:35, Reply)
No problem Bill
Yes I am/was a very bad man.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:39, Reply)
4/7
And that was largely guesswork.

I need to watch the news sometimes I feel.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:43, Reply)
Scarpe
I read the news all day, but some of those quesions are barely news.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:44, Reply)
I just saw the Spanish Prime minister
He's very short!

Edit: Who had the hat last?
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:45, Reply)
*Passes Bill the Hat*
Threadkiller!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:01, Reply)
*Jumps in*

*whores*

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post327307

*jumps out*

sorry, I've got work to do...and I've put it off all day...for reasons explained in the post.
(I helped save b3ta! Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:03, Reply)
Amazing, Mr. Poof.
*grins*

EDIT: I don't want the hat, dammit :(
This day's been going so well... POST, DAMN YOU!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:09, Reply)
He's done it again
that manthing is master of poo.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:14, Reply)
It's depressing...

My profile is a veritable Smörgåsbord of toilet calamity and sexual shennanigans...

And not one of them puts me in a positive light.

fucksocks
(I helped save b3ta! Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:17, Reply)
Come on people, keep this thread going.
What else do we have to live for?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:18, Reply)
@ Mr Poo: Did you ever throw a deaf boys
hearing aid out of a window though?

b3ta.com/questions/hell/post327059


(How's that for an unsubtle plug?)
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:19, Reply)
This Drixy
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post327284
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:20, Reply)
Right
I think the plugging of posts has gone a little bit OTT.

In other news, I apologised for my rude message. You were right Clendrix, I should have done it, but the extra day was time enough to de-strop myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:21, Reply)
Al, as long as you're happy with your decision, that's all that matters :)
*refuses to read pimped posts*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:27, Reply)
*passes Clendrix the hat*

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:44, Reply)
Whatever...
I'm busy reading NON PIMPED posts.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:45, Reply)
Good for you Al
I promise not to pimp any more.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:45, Reply)
@Drixie
That's handy, cos mine was about you and I wouldn't want you to know what I'd said.

So ner.

(OK, won't pimp again either)
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:46, Reply)
I'm back
Had some writing to do.
But I feel bad about it now.

Anyway...
I've got carrot cake, woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:49, Reply)
I am a grumpy old cow.
That was a statement. Not an apology.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:52, Reply)
*hugs clendrix*
It's Friday though, surely that's a good thing?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:54, Reply)
*hugs* too
Grumpiness is allowed.

Without it I would rarely feel anything.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:55, Reply)
*joins in the Kaol-Clendrix hugtime*

Ahhhhhhh, that's made me feel much better.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:55, Reply)
Oh, you lot are bloody lovely!
*happies*
*enjoys hugs*
*gropes a bit*

And btw, I will read the pimped posts - when I get to them :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:57, Reply)
*huggles too*

*apologises for pimpage*

*feels dirty*

*enjoys it*

On the plus side, my meeting is cancelled (woo!)

so I'm back on here until 3:30...whereupon I go home and begin to drink until my name changes to Oliver Reed...
(I helped save b3ta! Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:58, Reply)
But don't die, Pooflake.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:03, Reply)
wooo, I made the newsletter for the second week running!
with something almost completely lame, but not quite as lame as the first thing!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:06, Reply)
It's ok,
We can CG him into the rest of the QOTW's.

Someone needs to invent the Poof-tastic-Answer-O-maticTM.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:11, Reply)
They have.
Haven't you heard of a waffle-maker?

*feels ashamed of shit joke*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:15, Reply)
I have just realised
That in my youth I was a very bad young Herr Doktor, and probably will be going to hell.

The more I think the more stories I come up with, and all from my early 20's!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:16, Reply)
That was not
a shit joke.

Me likey.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:17, Reply)
Hahaha!
That's awesome!
I'll have mine with ice cream and maple syrup please :D
And zero faecal content.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:20, Reply)
I really want waffles now.
Oh yes to ice-cream and maple syrup as well.
Fucking WIN.

Nine minutes? I'm sure Kaol should have been wearing a hat of some sort.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:29, Reply)
*weeps into hat*
Yeah...

:(

I could really go for some waffles, you're right!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:31, Reply)
Um
You had it last. ;)
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:32, Reply)
Sorry Kaol
but the best pooflake waffle always comes with a high faecal content.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:32, Reply)
*takes hat*
*rips it into a thousand fucking pieces*

We should all free to hang loose.

Kaol, there are lots of waffley places in London...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:33, Reply)
Well,
It is our birthday soon :D
Waffle-day!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:35, Reply)
*Has Belgian Waffles*
*In Belgium*

*Gloats*
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:36, Reply)
I don't like waffles.
I'll be leaving now, shall I?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:38, Reply)
Bugger off, Bill.

Kaol - oh yes! Best birthday cake ever!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:39, Reply)
Don't go Scarpe
I need somebody to keep me waffle free.

They do make a good frizbee though!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:39, Reply)
Potato waffles are entirely shit.
So you can stay, Scarpey.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:41, Reply)
Fuck off Clendrix
Potato waffles are win. They live to be cooked in the toaster and then sandwiched between two pieces of white bread and a load of ketchup.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:49, Reply)
Al: I see your waffle sandwich
and raise it by fish fingers or sausages

made of win
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:53, Reply)
Fuck you Al. And fuck your deformed waffles.
*think about Al's waffles*
*thinks some more*

*goes out for smoke*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:54, Reply)

waffles cock
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:59, Reply)
Another vote for Potato waffles here
Potato Waffles, Baked Beans, Fish Fingers, white bread and butter.

I like my meals to have a very narrow range of colour.

edit: Thank god the hat got ripped up.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:00, Reply)
*hands bits of hat and a stapler to scarpe*
*waits*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:12, Reply)
*staples hat together*
*staples fingers to hat*

*pokes self in eye*

*falls over*

*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:14, Reply)
^Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:15, Reply)
Well, at least you didn't
Burn yourself.

*gets coat*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:16, Reply)
Oh, he will.
I have listened to Monster Magnet all afternoon and I still haven't got anything done.
I was hoping it would be motivational after Prodigy failed.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:16, Reply)
Nothing motivates
quite like MR MOTIVATOR IN A PURPLE CATSUIT!

*dons purple catsuit*

*blacks up*

*MOTIVATES!!!!!!!*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:21, Reply)
COME ON PEOPLE
LETS MOTIVATE!

MOTIVATE YOU CUNTS!!! MOTIVATE!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:26, Reply)
*motivates*
*giggles*

Al in a purple catsuit...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:27, Reply)
My motivation is threefold:
1) I'm going home soon
2) We're listening to Johnny Truant, very loudly
3) I've got this "date" tonight, hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:28, Reply)
Why are you laughing about your date?
I think it's lovely.

My friend just sent me an e-mail about her husband's Christmas party, saying,
'The CEO was more drunk then I've ever seen him. He fell into a Christmas tree & cut his eye which bled all down his shirt. He also lost his armani suit jacket.'
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:31, Reply)
YEAH!
That's it people, keep it coming!

*Motivates Clendrix*

*really hard*

*really really hard*

*has a quick breather*

*motivates Clendrix hard again*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:31, Reply)
I'm with clendrix
Laughing about dates is bad. You should be excited, nervous and horny. Mostly horny.

:edit: I hope my Christmas party tomorrow is as good as Clendrix's friend's husband's!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:35, Reply)
*motivates*
*motivates*
*motivates*
*motivates*
*motivates*

*rests*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:37, Reply)
Hurrah.
I'm alone in the office so I can be on b3ta with out anyone looking over my shoulder.

I feel like getting drunk tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:40, Reply)
Do it lusty
I plan on doing the same tonight, tomorrow and on Sunday =D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:41, Reply)
Yay Lusty!

*motivates lusty for good measures*

*gives Clendrix another quick motivation*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:41, Reply)
*hugs Lusty*
I always feel like getting drunk.

I am going to get my hair cut tomorrow by a man who looks like a maniac.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:43, Reply)
Clendrix
whatever he told you, Kaol is not a qualified hairdresser.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:44, Reply)
tomorrow night
I am going to get so drunk I throw up on my self while I'm wearing a green sparkly dress and red high heels.
I'm so classy.

Thanks for the motivating al. I think I might need to do a few lunges now to loosen up a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:46, Reply)
Capt'n V,
If you had any idea what a date with me is like, you'd be laughing too!

Something strange, weird or awful always ends up happening...
Plus I didn't do any laundry when I should have, so my options are muddy clothes or scruffy clothes.
And a variety of leather jackets :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:47, Reply)
Well Miss Lusty
That sounds like a great weekend you have planned there!
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:47, Reply)
Al
Kaol doesn't look like a maniac, I think. He just is one.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:48, Reply)
Oooo
Lusty, your dress sounds ace.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:50, Reply)
bill
Yups. Well, I am going out in Watford *shudders* so the only way to have a good time will be to get so drunk I throw up on myself. I may possibly in true Watford girl stylee not wear any tights, throw my drink over someone and get a kebab on the way home.
nom nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:52, Reply)
Lusty,
I think I love you.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:53, Reply)
I'm quite nervous about my date
I normally just fall into relationships. Dating is totally foreign to me =[

Kaol, you can't go wrong with a nice jacket!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:54, Reply)
clendrix
I know I love you.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:54, Reply)
*feels blissfully happy*

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:56, Reply)

blissfully happy al's cock
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:57, Reply)
You obviously have a higher opinion of watford than I do
I was sure that wasn't going to be tights right up until it was!
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:58, Reply)
Wait,
I thought I was hugging Lusty, but there seems to be a cock in my hand.

*makes the most of it*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:02, Reply)
Well
it's kind of like a cock, just smaller.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:03, Reply)
My hand cream
has made my fingers go all slippery :(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:06, Reply)
Errrrm
I have a suggestion as to what you might want to do with that.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:07, Reply)
What's your suggestion
al?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:08, Reply)
It was going to be
a bit rude, but now I feel shy so I won't say it.

*stares at feet*

*swings one leg back and forth*

*shifts uncomfortably*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:13, Reply)
*punches Al in the nuts*
So... How's it going Lusty?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:14, Reply)
Oh al
You naughty little scamp. There's no need to be shy.
Come tell Lusty all about it.

even though you're older than me I feel a little bit like a paedo saying that
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:17, Reply)
I'm going home
you fucking cunts.

I hope every one of you has great weekend and DOESN'T GET FUCKING STABBED OR ANYTHING.

bye bye

xxx
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:17, Reply)
Oh Al...
*blows kiss*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:19, Reply)
Oh!
I went off to do some work and Al's nuts were violated in my absence. I hope they're OK by Monday or I shall be terribly bored all day.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:20, Reply)
clendrix
What did you have planned for al's nuts then?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:23, Reply)
Well Lusty,
I was hoping to roast them on an open fire and spend the rest of the evening with them in my mouth.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:25, Reply)
Ohhh
That sounds tasty! I wouldn't mind a nibble of al's nuts myself.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:27, Reply)
I'm sure there's plenty for the two of us.
It's just a dreadful shame he's stomped off home before we could plan this properly.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:30, Reply)
I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.
Al's never one to turn down a good roasting.

On that note, I'm off too.

Have a good weekend everyone :)
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:35, Reply)
Goodbye Lusty!
I'm off too - byeeee!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:39, Reply)
Anybody left around?

Or do you all have social lives this fine Friday.

I've just left the EU and am now off for a beer with some of the guys from APTN.
(bill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 19:39, Reply)
Hello
I'm here - anyone up for a chat?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 19:53, Reply)

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