Fill in the missing words
If I had a _____, I'd _____ with _____.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 10:57, 23 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

If I had a clitoris, I'd spend my entire life finding new ways to play with it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 11:00, Reply)

If I had a shoe I'd dance with ladles
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 11:01, Reply)

If I had a cheeky look,
I'd explode with delight.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 11:17, Reply)

@ No3L
I wonder how many females would answer:

If I had a cock I'd take the day off for an all day wankfest with oil.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 11:30, Reply)

If they appreciate the wonders
of oil, baby or otherwise, probably one. I could probably name her too :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 12:00, Reply)

Receiving oily handjobs
make my toes curl the wrong way.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 12:47, Reply)

That's some mental image right there.
:-o
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 12:50, Reply)

*sigh*
If I had any sort of idea of what you guys talk about on here all day, I'd be able to communicate with you all a lot more.
( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 13:15, Reply)

AND HERE SHE IS!
:)

Hey bgb. I was just loosely hinting at your existence.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 13:28, Reply)

If I had a lot of money I'd buy frogs with it.



not really - I mean, who'd give me lots of money?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 13:33, Reply)

How many frogs?
And what would you do with them? Just curious, like.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 13:37, Reply)

Erm..
I think I'd buy about 5 gross.

And then I'd get single women to pay me to kiss them.

And then I'd contact that Max chappie with my story of how I'd found the prince amongst the frogs.

Alternatively I could just lick them until I got high...

Actually I could get students to pay me to lick them until they got high.

That way I'd make even more money and become the Frog Queen.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 13:40, Reply)

If I had a Madeline McCann , I'd Jean-Charles De Menezes her with Ian Huntley .
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 13:58, Reply)

Have you been on the space cakes again
Miss Chook?

Edit: Bert! *bums*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 13:59, Reply)

*receives gratefully*

Cheers No3l, but what was that in aid of?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 14:03, Reply)

You've not been around much
and... *sniff* I missed you.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 14:05, Reply)

Aw, shucks No3l, come here
and suck my plums.

Please?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 15:43, Reply)

I think Chickenlady has been sniffing PJM's socks again.
She's away with the fairies : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 16:08, Reply)

.
If I had an archaeopteryx, I'd sneeze with caterpillars.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 16:47, Reply)

If I had
A monkey, I'd breed it with a weasel.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 16:54, Reply)

It's not my socks she's after...
;-)

*horns*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 30 Dec 2008, 17:26, Reply)

More of the same
www.b3ta.com/questions/procrastination/post306501
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 17:44, Reply)

If I had a Steve I'd Hank with Dave.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 22:47, Reply)